1. Why do so many people — even kinky ones — regard the Daddy/babygirl dynamic as hot but think Mommy/little boy role play is disturbing?

Because people can’t stand to see middle-aged women happy and in control.

 2. Am I on the asexuality spectrum or do I just have a very low sex drive 95% of the time? How can I know for sure?

There’s no genetic test for asexuality, just as there’s no genetic test for heterosexuality, homosexuality, or bisexuality. So, while you can’t know with absolute certainty whether you’re truly asexual or just have a low sex drive, you’re free to embrace the asexual label if it feels right and/or helps you communicate with prospective romantic partners. Remember: the asexual spectrum — which runs the gamut from sex-repulsed asexuals recoiling from sex scenes in movies to asexual sluts racking up impressive body counts — is as vast as it is unfalsifiable, and you have just as much right to locate yourself on it as anyone else.

P.S. If there were prenatal genetic tests for sexual orientation, evangelical churches would open abortion clinics in their basements.

 3. What do you do if you want to be a gay fisting top but you have really, really big hands?

Seeing as there are gay power bottoms out there literally sitting on traffic cones — you don’t have to take my word for it (link NSFW) — finding an experienced fisting bottom capable of accommodating one or more of your really, really, really big hands shouldn’t be that hard. (For the record: I don’t doubt your hands are big — I’m not questioning how your hands identify — but however big they are, they’re not bigger than traffic cones.)

 4. Is it bad to hold it in right as you are about to reach the point of orgasmic inevitability?

 What’s the “it” we’re talking about holding in? If the “it” is a fart, you should definitely hold it in. If the “it” is a butt plug, you should try your best to hold it in. (But there’s no shame in having an orgasm so powerful the butt plug pops out of your ass like a champagne cork and ricochets around the room.) If the “it” is a giggle, knowing how your partner feels about laughter during sex (some love, some hate) would inform your choice. And if the “it” is your load — if you’re one of those idiots practicing semen retention for its (unproven and most likely non-existent) health benefits — then holding it in is absolutely necessary, as your entire personality is based on retaining your semen. (Read it and weep, semen retaining weirdos: “Semen retention… a practice that is not supported by current literature and which has been shown to have potential adverse health effects.”)

 5. Tips for getting someone all the way down your throat when their dick is curved?

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