1. This debate is raging again, Dan, and we need you to issue a ruling: Do straight women belong in gay bars?
Some (straight women, gay bars), not all (straight women, gay bars).
Ā 2. Why do men keep ghosting me after sex? Iām a 25-year-old woman.
No clue. You couldāve had a string of bad luck ā and fucked a dozen (or more) shitty guys in a row ā or it could be something youāre doing wrong. Even if you donāt think youāre doing anything wrong, once youāve noticed a pattern of behavior and/or results that makes you unhappy, itās a good idea to make some changes. Try meeting different kinds of guys in different kinds of ways, try slowing your roll/hole, etc., and take time along the way to engage in constructive introspection and make further changes/course corrections, as needed.
Ā 3. How do I stop people from falling in love with me when they meet me?
If itās women and gay men you donāt want falling for you at first sight, wear a MAGA hat. Not sure what you have to wear to prevent straight men from falling in love with you ā perhaps commenters will have an idea.
4. Do all straight men secretly want something up the ass?
Considering that not all gay men want something up the ass ā not tongues, not dicks, not toys ā I feel pretty confident saying not all straight men want something up the ass. Whatās different now is that straight men who do want something up the ass are less likely to feel shame and more likely to ask randos, FWBs, sex workers, romantic partners, spouses, etc., to put something up their asses.
Ā 5. How do you stop wanting what you canāt have?
By focusing on something you can have ā or someone you can have ā and willing yourself to believe you wanted the something/someone you could have just as much or more than you wanted the something/someone you couldnāt get.
6. How do I stay GGG even though I hate getting any kind of hair ā including mine ā in my mouth? The longer the hair, the worse it feels!
Three options come to mind: seek out sex partners with alopecia; keep a hair clipper near the bathroom sink and tell new sex partners a quick trim gets them oral; or make a kinky virtue of irrational hangup and actively pursue perverts who get off on being ordered to keep their bodies completely hairless by their dominants.
Ā 7. Iām a 35-year-old married transgender man. I started my transition when I was in my 20s. My wife is 100% straight. Iāve recently started being open about being queer and being attracted to men. As I get older, I keep finding myself longing to fuck a cis man. At times itās the only thought that gets me turned on. Iāve been married for ten years. My wife is pretty uptight. Open relationships and ENM is NOT an option. What do I do? Suck it up?
You also three options: honor the monogamous commitment you made (and suck it the fuck up), dishonor the monogamous commitment you made (and risk getting caught), or issue an ultimatum and demand some degree of openness (and risk getting divorced). I wish there were another option ā people write every day hoping that Iāll find a magical fourth option that doesnāt involve going without, becoming a cheating piece of shit, or issuing painful ultimatums that could blow up their marriages ā but there are only these three options.
Read the rest of this week's column here! And don't miss this week's Lovecast:Ā Weāre giving you a break from whatever stressful stuff is going on this week to bring you some of the moreā¦ interesting calls weāve collected. On the Magnum, Dan chats with Paul Rosenbergāfounder and manager of Rain City Jacks, a private, non-profit jack-off club in Seattle. As we speak, men are gathering to masturbate together. Dan and Paul talk about the 20 year history of the club, how a whopping 10% of the patrons are straight, and how communal masturbation brings people together in the best way. Also, what happens to all the jiz? Listen here!
Ā
