1. It turns me on when my husband fucks other men. It pisses him off when I do. His proposed “fix” is he gets to fuck other men (because I like it), but I don’t get to fuck other men (because he hates it). This hardly seems fair.
If unfairness turned you on — if you were a cuck — you might be able to make this work. But unfairness doesn’t turn you on, so you can’t make this work. I don’t mean you can’t make your marriage work; I mean your husband’s proposed “fix” won’t work. So, your options are a mutual agreement to close your relationship (no one gets to fuck other men) or agreeing to a one-sided DADT relationship (he doesn’t hide fucking other men from you, you hide fucking other men from him). Your husband getting the fuck over himself is also an option.
2. How do I get my libido back after my house burned down in the L.A. fires?
“You don’t get your libido back — at least not yet,” said Claire Perelman, a Certified Sex Therapist who lives and works in California. “You sit in the grief, you let it wash over you. When you’re ready, you turn towards pleasure and comfort, however you find it — naked cuddling, drawing yourself a bath, sensual touch. You can even invite grief into your bedroom: a threesome with you, your partner, and despair. Acknowledging the pain is the first step in moving through it.”
Follow Claire Perelman on Instagram and Threads @sexclarified.
 3. Tips or tricks for orgasms on SSRIs?
Throw absolutely everything you’ve got at it — genital stim, nipple stim, anal stim, brain stim (aka dirty talk) inert toys, vibrating toys — and enjoy the ride/getting ridden whether you have an orgasm or not. If you feel yourself getting close, push a little. If you don’t feel like you’re gonna get there, appreciate the pleasure you created and experienced instead of succumbing to frustration over the orgasm you didn’t have this time but might next time. (Also, talk to your doc about adjusting your medications.)
4. What’s the craziest sex you’ve ever had?
Bent over in an East German guard tower on November 12, 1989, looking down through the orange-tinted mirrored glass windows at a delirious crowd of Berliners tearing the Wall apart with their bare hands directly under us.
5. How can I have sex when my 18-year-old stepdaughter is home? It makes my boyfriend uneasy!
Instead of going without when your stepdaughter is around go fuck in a park or your parked car or the bathroom of a sleazy bar or an abandoned East German guard tower! Then instead of resenting your boyfriend’s daughter for preventing you from having sex, you’ll be grateful to this kid — secretly grateful — for all the exciting, crazy, adventurous sex you’re having all over town with her dad.
Read the rest of this week's column here! And on the latest edition of the Lovecast:Â
A straight man was accidentally paired with a trans man on a hookup app. When the trans man found out his match was a straight dude, he tapped out. But that got the caller thinking… should he search for pre-op trans men on Grindr in the hopes of connecting with people who still have their female parts? Any problems here?
On the Magnum, Dan chats with writer Manuel Betancourt, about chance meetings. His new book “Hello Stranger: Musings on Modern Intimacies” gets into romance — gay and straight — and the allure of chance encounters. He and Dan talk about how “threelationships” can sneak up on you, how the gays (once again) pave the way for honest communication in open relationships, and the WAR between monogamous and polyamorous folk. LISTEN HERE!
