They're only interested in making sniggering remarks about your intelligence and lining their own coffers (whatever that means). Well, the Mercury is only interested in one thing and that is LOVE. We love ourselves, we love you, and we love the thought of ourselves loving you. We also love the thought of you loving someone else. That's why every Valentine's Day we print your notes of love intended for your objects of desire. Then when your object reads it, he or she will say, "Wow. It's really nice to be loved, and now I feel doubly-loved--by you and the Mercury." But even if you're not loved, you could very well be lusted, so you better check out these valentines anyway--just to make sure. HAPPY VALENTINES DAY, LOVER!

Larry--you make my mornings happy, my afternoons fun, my evenings exciting, and my rainy days sunny. I love you more than ever. You melted all the snow in my February heart. Happy Valentine's Day! I love you more than ever. Amy.

My dearest Dave--I've loved you for over 33 years now, and my love for you grows stronger each year. You are very special to me and always will be. I look forward to spending the next 100 years together. My love always, Barbara.

Amy and Larry--We love you both very much, and hope you have a very happy Valentine's Day together. Wish we could be closer geographically, but as long as we are close in heart, that's what matters! Our love, Mom and Dad (Barbara and Dave).

For Alex; My husband to be, my best friend, my playmate, my soulmate, my love. I look forward to years of hard work, joy, tears, and laughter. We'll buy a farm, raise some kids, and live happily ever after. We create it! Always, Jamaica

Butch; You keep me cumming back for more. Sex with you is like a porn-o come true. I'll kiss behind your ear, and you can tickle behind my knees! Let's make a date, set up the camera and let the lovin' begin! Oo-la-la, Toots

To Scully, the vampire: it's raining hard tonight and I'm thinking about you. The buzzed black hair on the back of your head. The studded collar I fastened around your throat. Red is the sound my heart makes when I hear your voice. Love! Your Caryatid.

H, I hope no matter how much shit we talk to each other, we somehow always find that place in our hearts that was there since the journey began. May our energies stay intertwined always, and whatever path we choose, we choose together. "Blessed BE" I LOVE YOU. J

J.M. I haven't known you for very long, but you make me feel better than any who have come before. I hope you keep it up!

Sadie--You are the sexiest cleaning lady in all of Portland, you are worth so much more than anyone realizes! Your friend Kel-E

Cain--Hey rockstar! I hope you have the best Valentine's Day ever! Truly, Kel-E

ALX, I love you more than shoes. Even really shiny, expensive ones. Thanks for being my coolest boyfriend. Kisses, Hellcat (not your stalker).

Nama love forever Mali, My cuddly sweet puppy man, your lovely long nose seduces me. Long nights of phone sex, I dream of your green skin. Goat-smithing honeybun, I love you.

HPL--Love yer body, Larry. Thanks for carrying JR. (Angus?!?) & Welcome home. We'll make it work out here. Happy V-Day (Victory over my heart)... I Love You soooo much--The Leprechaun

Heather--You are the world to me. When you're around, I'm filled with glee. When I'm down you lift me off my feet, and you taste so sugary-sweet. So all I want to say this Valentine's Day... will you go with me for a romp in the hay? Maybe down by the bay? We could play with some clay. We just may.

Dearest Amy and Tracy, Through thick and thin (and way too many men!), you've been the greatest roommate ever! Thank you for your friendship! Love, Patricia

Dear sweet boy, I am knock down, drag out, stone cold, deep blue in love with you. E.

Ryan J. You inspire me to be a better person. I'm grateful for the joy you bring into my life. Love Always, Kelly H.

Ich liebe dich Jost! Mr. Turtle wishes you a Happy Valentine's Day. Deine Emilinchen

Sparky, You are my everything!! I love you so much and am so glad I have you!! Love always and forever TJ

Dear Tabitha, I just want to tell you that I love you and love everything you are and do, and I can't wait for you to be my wife. Oh, and I also love your cute little ass!!. Love Always, Jason

Sweet Phil, I am so glad that you landed on my couch one night, shortly to end up in my bed. I love you with all my powerpuff might.

My dearest Jellybean, I love the warmth and the beauty which you bring into my life. I won't ever let you go. I love you. Beau

Melissa, As I lay awake at night, my thoughts of us being together forever play through my head. My love for you is a happy love and a caring love forver. Love 'My only love' a big hugg' love just good love. From your love, the big love. D.J.

Dearest Clarence, Finlay lady, lay. Lay across my big brass...

Sarah... thanks for making dreams come true. Everything in life is brighter, being able to share it with you. I Love You... Always *mike*

Dear BXF, I love you! I will go to every show and worship your beautiful singer. She will be mine, oh yes, she will be mine!

Tall bartender with glasses at the Blackbird. I'm too afraid to talk to you, so I'll just keep ordering more Rolling Rocks.

Lisa, I am so glad I ran into you at the skatepark that day. The time you and I have spent together has been the best part of my life. I dont know what I would ever do without you. I love you so much. Shane

For David: Ah, to breathe you in again (or, more specifically, your deoderant!). Thank you for the opportunity to know you again--and to know you some more. Love, Trish

JAZZ... Ooh my love for you burns like the sound of JAZZ... You're a maestro in the sack JAZZ... You're the dopest cat JAZZ... I'm your only girlfriend so don't lie about that shit no more... JAZZ

LSS--Even though WE are broke down, you still have the best looking walk around. Just being nice. PP

BUTTERCUP Don't churn that splintery Amish handle--ride in my buggy. THE ENGLISH CANDIDATE

Arthur, Do you ever think of me? I stole your catnip monkey. Booty

Poppet, You are forever my sweet Valentine! XOXOXO Poly

Julianne, Your huge rack reminds me of the two beautiful glowing orbs in the sky, the moon and the sun, yep. See you 'round town. Old Town rulz.

Son of the Sun, You are my golden bodhisattva-head. You lie in my bed like a sleepy lion and crush me in your paws. I like you. Lady

S. I'm only attracted to you when I'm drunk. Don't touch me. Xoxoxo A.

Teresa, You cheeky monkey! Surprise! I'll love you till the end of the universe!! Henry

JK, You probably don't even read the friggin' Mercury, you Christian bastard. So I'm free to say you're no longer my number one masturbatory fantasy! Ha ha! But I'll still like to seduce you and fuck you silly at our 10 year reunion, you gorgeous thing, you.

ATTENTION LOVRAHH... I don't know if you'll find this... I just had to leave a note to say that I will love you 'til we're all withery... Love, Jul McJulster

David my honey, You are my heart, my love, my happiness and I'd be lost without you. I will love you always and forever. Happy Valentine's Day. Love ya baby, Bethany

Shikka - my time with you on the Island has been the best I've had in years. Here's to the band and to your health. I love you too. Suatre

Erin, After all of our time together, I still love you. Pat

I am dreaming of your sheep pillow. Does it still smell like vanilla? Cutie

Sweeeety, Je t'aime beaucoup. Pony

Running-Jumping-Kicking Boy, I Love You. N

wild eyed witchybaby grrrl--i adore you. you should wear yr hair down more often, it makes you look like even more of a goddess. i will never try to trap u under the blankets, if u never leave me. eyeliner. comes a storm in the form of a girl, she's the finest sweetest thing in the world...

i believe. not only in faeries but in you and me. lets go sip some nectar, glitter sister.

u are the perfect drug, forever. im sorry for slipping, but i adore you for helping me to regain my footing. eyeliner baby.

Heidi, Wonderbug! Just like that amazing woman I met more than thirteen years ago--you STILL take my breath away! You are my hero. I love you. Bill

to the girl with short hair at world cup coffee on 18th and glisan. you are cute. from ???

SpaceMonkey, You taste like a smokey ripe apple. Your hair is thick and bristly, good for holding onto. You are my red hot robot ninja. I'm yours. Finish me. Bebaboop meow, CatBot


Joel, You are so sweet. I am so glad I met you and that we get along so well. Thank you for being so cool and listening to me. Love, Susie

Michi, So glad i am now the lone member of the harem. I love you, J

Y.H. I like you in just your earings. Donde estan sus pantelones? Like a panther on the pounce, you hold me down and cuddle me up. You are the delishiest. S.P.

Emanuel Botocan- Guess who? I love you, cuteheart. Happy Valentine's Day.

LADY J You are more like me than anyone in the world, and I'm lucky to have you in my life. Forget about Chris-boy, you can be my valentine. Boys come and go, but we will always have each other. Love, MISTRESS S

How is it that no matter where we are we're alone? How is it that I didn't meet you until now? If I had a cool job like you, I'd say it on the front: I love you! Yours always, Todd.

Keith my sweet marmalade muff, you torment and sting my soul! Oh my puddin' pie, you make me swoon in exctasy! OH OH OH!!!! Be still my beating heart... My special sugar tit will you be my... Valentine... Please?

You're like a dagger and stick me in the heart, and taste the blood from my blade. And when we sleep would you shelter me in your warm and darkened grave? Love. Me.

To U + Me $100: I saw your ad and love your services, all I have is $75, is that enough to make you my Valentine?

Cory my angel, I just wanted to let you know that you're my favorite and you're wonderful. Thanks for saying sweet dreams to me. j'taime toujour. Be mine. Your Butterfly

Baby Snakes, You are my special Valentine. Love you, P. Dolly

Pocket Squirrel, B My Valentine 4 Ever Love, Daddy Cat

To Tevin, It's been over a year, and I want you to know that I have enjoyed your company very much. I love waking up next to you every morning. You are also one of the most talented person that I have ever met in my life. I am so lucky to have you in my life. Love, Rosemary

Hey baby Judy I'm having your baby, so get used to it. Love, us.

dawgerz2000--Hello my love! I just wanted to say how much I love you and I'm forever grateful to have you in my life! xoxo -veggiejess


My Monkey, I love you so much, and I am so glad we are together. You totally rock my world and complete me in a way I never thought possible. I love u baby! Your lil' Eskimo

Jen: i love you more & more each day; you're my best friend, my passionate MINDBLOWING lover--my soul mate--treasure you... "Cursum Perfico"" xo X, Shawn

Lindsey, My sweet wonderful little miss, I LOVE YOU. You and your wrinkly dog have stolen my heart. You make my life wonderful. Happy Valentines Day, I LOVE YOU. Jacob

lance, my sweet, sweet boy! here's to keeping you in the puddin' for a long time to come, if you know what i mean! i love you! mickie

CHEW, Thanks for the chess, patient understanding, and sausage. Everything will be ok. So much love, da heritage gathering 2000

James Cyrus Stewart: I wanna kiss you again. For real, baby.

JOHN, Everyday is Valentine's with you. Te amo, I love you, I desire you, adore you... I miss every second that we are apart... Siempre Tuya

Nelson... We had a great run... I enjoyed every moment... you will always be my hypo-toad!--Big Love, The Senator

Spud--You are forever my Spuddy Buddy. You took my heart and my cherry! You corrupted me and for that, I will love you forever and ever and then some--Squirt

Sarah--This is so high school, but I never got to do it to anyone who mattered: I love you! Happy Valentine's Day! Love, Gretchen

To My Hot Cookin' Samurai Chef of Love... Let's put together a recipe of red wine and passion that would make Martha Stewart blush... (oh my!)... Luv Forever, Slinkychic

Although you don't exactly qualify as my Valentine, I'd like to thank you for another year of sweet abandon. Keep it up. Thanks for all the tongue.

James, Hi Sly Owl Lion Jaw (it's an anagram!). Why won't you let me go outside? Love and kisses, Evil Spy Harris

David, You are my favorite boy in the whole world.I bite you because I love you. More kissing and sexing up please, thank you. Screeching Biter Monkey

Smitten still. Beyond infatuation, I am chronically in love. Meegan, my partner, my princess--I would slay a dragon for you. My eyes shine with love and all can see. I ache to smell you!

Aaron, Thank you for 5 wonderful years and for being my best friend. You help me laugh, keep me warm, and leave me dreaming of our future together. Love, Brooke

Cecilia, I kiss happiness into your lips. Let us gather up sticks for a fire. Let us kindle a fire on the mountains. (Pablo Neruda) George

RoboYo, Y is for the Yelling, O is for the Obvious, J is for the Jailbait you thought I was, I is for ILuvYou even when you push me off the bed. SyBorg

Lionito, we've come so far and come so often. I want to stroke your lion mane for the rest of our days. Happy Valentine's Day from your wacky, slutty girl.

OOOOOH BLOMPY! Why do I love thee? Let me count the ways... One. Because you're the best. Now where's my dinner!? Love, Your Loverton

Sir Cumference, I will always love you, even if I'm a slut and you're and asshole. It's a slut/asshole eclipse. Happy Valentine's Day!

Naichu, Whooo! I feel all warm and fuzzy when I'm with you becaue you're so cute and cuddly and all that good stuff. I hope you feel that way, too. Aishiteru--I do. Remigious

Little Princess, you are always in my heart. We may be royal pains in the asses, but at least we're royal! Smooches and Happy Valentine's Day! Your Queen, Mz. Conduct

Mister Bo Dangles, Great big sloppy smooches! Happy Valentine's Day from Mz. Conduct

Wild Bill and His Amazing Appendage, Thank you for being my treasured friend. Happy Valentine's Day! Always in need of protein, Mz. Conduct

To all the women of the world: I've found him. The sweetest, smartest, cutest, funniest, most adorable guy in the world. I love you Christoper. Love always, Daph

Mr. Gil Ravadry, I always hated Valentines Day before, but perhaps that has changed. I am a sweet and innocent little angel. Miss Nolis

* knock knock. who's there? * interrupting cowinterrupting cow wh...* Moo! moo rocks! i love moo 4eva! yeah, rock on. wuzzup daddy? spank it homefry. beafcake. yeah, thats right.

Daniel P. My sweet sweet man. How I do love to cook up a spicy soul stew with you. Here's to 6. Love, Sarah

Bachelor... You kind of rock my world. Wish I could tell you. Czech Boy (Batchelor)

dear muffles: roses are red / sheep are white / i heart you more than a cat bite. xoxo o.

P. Bro. Thanx for the booty calls! It's your turn again. Not Your Boyfriend

pool partner, i love the way you handle your stick, you have a great touch when you sink those balls right into the pocket. let's play again soon. eatme

dear meg: my shoes hurt. love, adam

Matia in New York: i loved waking you up with my words on your screen, talking in type for hours. i fell in love while we were on opposite sides of the globe. i love you, Brian (formerly) in China

Baby, your ass makes me HURT, the way it jiggles when you shake it in my face. Those waves of quivering flesh really make my gonads BURN for you, Baby.

Happy Valentines Day Barfly! I Love You! Yours Truely, Malt Liquor

My witchy T boo: I have loved and enjoyed the past four spell-bound years together!! From Ashland to Portland... you are still the brew in my cauldron!! Here's to another lifetime of perfect love and perfect trust!! I love u!! Love always, Colby Poo

I love myself, my big fat ugly miserable self... oh wait I don't have a choice.

popsikops! i'm so happy you're here. in the actual, factual way and the great big time and space way too. i love you. love, rama.

jamie you sent me a letter and melted my heart. i love you forever. baby kitten.

remember that second day of hanging out, jessica? i told you about my moment of simple contentment? thank you for that and your friendship.

Matt, You make me smile. You make me a better person. I make you a better person also. Can't we give it just one more try? Love You Always, Katy

Redlance. Lovemate, I wish always to howl as one. The Way and the bright silver stars guide me to you. Shade and sweet water, beloved. Love, me

Dear Cakeles, A liter of High Life and a bowl of ramen are all I need to proclaim my undying love to you. I promise lingere very very soon.... McF

Chad, You're my past, present and hopefully my future. You're my absolute favorite person in the whole world, and I'll love you forever if you let me. Nikki

Isaac~Thanks for ruining my life, and leaving me before Valentine's Day. You wasted the last year of my life and I regret meeting you. Have fun in Washington.~Erin

rian z. i miss you and your sweet meat see you at e.m. or in the back of your towncar studboy

Chris H., We've had a few close calls, but we've held together beautifully, and nearly four years is no shabby accomplishment! I love you to pieces, Sarah L.

Skullhunter, A touch within a waking dream, A smile beneath a kiss, Love is such a wonderous thing, But never as perfect as this. Be mine. Always and forever, Bliss

Although you love your lonely boy music, you know I'm here to stay. Thanks for keeping me warm at night. I'm so glad you're in my life. Have a wicked happy V-Day, Baby!

MegaMeganMaryNora, You've filled my life with such happiness and pleasure. Shared PBRs and rides in shopping carts can make my entire day, especially if you get the giggles. 50 words cannot begin to describe how wonderful you are, my love. You're sooo RAD, my angel! XXX OOO I LOVE ALWAYS, NICK

Wolfman John, Three months, four months, whatever! Who's counting? Sufficed to say you're the cream in my coffee being the only man I know who can proudly carry a purple vibrator in his pocket all evening because you weren't sure if I was staying at your place or mine. Your spontanaeity is addicting. Happy Birthday this Feb. 17th! I love you! Your Super Slinky

Patrick! My love, my husband, my life. You, me, Sir Galahad... take me now, sub-creature! You make it worth all the bullshit. Now if we just had that damn Jacuzzi tub. Love you always... Dawn.

Kat, now that you dumped the dumpy girl, let's rendesvous in a warm and sunny place. Matt

To the light in my life, cream in my tea, warm arms to wake to, everything to me. Soothing when i'm flustered, hot as fuck in the sack, makes the best damn omelets, and has a sexy back.

Thank you Corey, for all the sweet things you do and say. I look forward to taking your pants off later and thanking you in a very special way. Happy Valentine's Day darling. I love you you as much as Framboise! ~Nicole

Alex, You know you're going to be mine. Yours, Alicia

Julie, Green room Thursdays. Friend of Lea's? Yout trip: Your curls; fire and sunshine, vibrant spirit glows, sweet lips like red wine, red velvet, red rose Romeo is near, waiting.

Happy Valentines Day to my brother Jeff, who still makes taking about shit and pee fun.

Happy Valentines Day J.A.B, You big computer nerd. While I can't be your friend anymore for a thousand reasons, I did want you to know that you've always been my favorite Valentine and I can't even listen to "Loosing my religion" without thinking of you.

Dear Bianchis... Oh, our road bike cherries we lost to you. With your spicy items like toe clips and drop bars. Still I am hot to hop on your saddle. We rock those bitches everyday! I'll ride you into the night. Love DR and ML Bike Parade

Grace, Even though we don't get to see each other as often as we used to, I want you to know that I still love you as much as I ever did. This has never changed. Love you always, Your baby.

Benicio, My Hunted, Whenever I see your oddly attractive face in front of the camera, you make me want to change my name to Tommy Lee Del Toro.

To the freckled chick with the copycat glasses: I see you all the time, why can I never talk to you? Your green jacket and cynical wit make me weak in the knees. Let me buy you another cookie, and we'll take it from there. From: the scruffy haired boy you've probably never even noticed.

M. Sweetie, you are my ultimate vision, the man of my fantasies, who gave me beautiful children, a life to cherish and adventures to dream of. You are my last breath and in any form, I will willingly take you forever. Lets make the next ten years even better. tt meow!

jodo, oh baby, sweetheart, baby baby baby darlin' sweetheart i love you so much baby. oh darlin' so much baby baby yeah oh darlin' that much baby. sweet baby baby darlin' sweety baby. kurtkabang

Dear john, I love you like an Apple. I love you like a Plum. I just wanted to say that, you're my #1.

You are the sweetest, I love you bunches! xoxo, hoolie

Super Roy--Words alone cannot express how much I love and adore you; you are my other half and I don't know where I would be without you. You have my heart, my soul, my eternal love. Always, Laura

Lisa, Be my valentine, You are my true Love. I can not wait to spend all my time with you. Love your Hunny, ~Sean~

My Dearest Justin, I love you more than words can ever say... Thank you so much for putting up with me through all this. Marry me? I promise to make you happy for the rest of our lives... You are the one for me and I need you in my life. Ever since I met you I knew you and I should be together. I would do anything for you. I LOVE YOU BABY!!!!! Love Always, Me

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TATE! Fuck Valentine's Day. Who cares about that, when only two days later we celebrate the birth of our Lor... oh wait, wrong guy.

Nathan and Rachel--You guys are soooo sweet. You are so perfect for each other, you make cupid jealous. Happy to see two people so in love.

Pinky! Happy Valentine's Day to my favorite bear. I love you!!

Shauna, I am so glad that I met you out at MHCC. I think that we have a good thing going. I told you that I would turn you into a FREEK. Keep to up and you just might get somthing Special. Happy Valentine's Day. GJ

Nealie, Happy Valentine's Day! I love you mookie! love, sasha

Korinna, Tag Glücklichen Valentine. Ich verpasse Sie sehr viel. Ich hoffe, dass wir togather bald sein können. Weihnachten ist nur nicht das gleiche ohne Sie. Es ist zu langer Sinn gewesen, den wir oneanother gesehen haben. Siehe Sie bald. Ich Liebe Dich. Geoffrey

Geoff- Ever since I saw your smiling face, I haven't looked back. Just seeing you brightens my day. Happy Valentine's Day, baby! ~Shauna~

Taylor Marie... How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. One one-thousand, two one-thousand, three one-thousand... Thank you for being such a good little girl! ~Shauna~

Bill, I love having you in my life. You are an amazing and wonderful person. I love you very much. Dwain

Angie-you leave us Sha-sha-sha-shattered... Love your lovers... Manny and Woody

Katherine, You're STILL my Sunday Kind of Woman. Don't worry little darlin'. It'll work... the Silver Fox

you are one hunky monkey. i love you as much as i love dilly bars and shoes. let's do it, punkin.

To the man I love most: The past two and a half years of my life have been the happiest and most beautiful years I have ever had. You have been the sweetest, sexiest, and most romantic guy a girl could ever get. I love you, Kenny! Love, Kandace.

ERIC STEVEN my stomach is full of a swarm of bumblebees. you are the perfect person for me. now that we have this, my heart is complete. thank you love. VNS

the sexyist lifty on hood has caught my eye, my dearst OZ if I don't fuck you I'll tie you down and beat you :)

clair im going to bend you over my snowboard

meemo--you make it happy. I love you more than life. Xoxo megumi

Dana, man you and that blue shag carpet on my bedroom floor got me going like a banana eclair straight from the freezer. It's hot here in Dallas, the way I need it... I'm just happy you could keep my temperature up while I was in Portland. love, Claire

Craig, 12/29 Solstice Party. Sitting @ bonfire discussing beliefs, breaking from a past that continually obscures the future. Contemplating movement/magnetic pull of the Cosmos while Jupiter winked @ Full Moon above us. 'Altruist' charmedenchantedsmitten. Wished I'd stayed longer, would like another hug.

Oh how I long to kiss your sweet lips... If you could only read my mind you would feel my burning desire to share my deepest darkest secret with you my dear Russell.

Best lover I've ever had A lluring in so many ways R eplace you I never could R emember this for all our days Y ou make me feel so damn good! ~Melissa

Syndell, Your eyes hypnotized my mind and reminded me why I'm still here... thank you for existing and resisting this mysogenistic atmos-fear... it's clear to this man how well you overstand a desperate planet and long-sought God... may love and peace entreat your path as you laugh to the end. Your friend, Turbulintz

WM young 40 6' professsional by day, rocker by night, seeks a youthful spirit, 30 and up. Refuses to go quietly into the sunset, dances to the stars as comfortable dining in Wildwood or Escape from NY, high and low brow, never behind the ape ball and sassy.

You know who you are... I see you often. We meet in my dreams all the time. The man I have yet to meet but know to love... My heart ponders the trouble, but seeks great warmth in your lap... turn me inside out.

Hey handsome. Oh how I love you! You will always be a true love of mine! I miss you and look forward to seeing you soon. Cannot wait to hold you. bebe

Hey Babes--Ever since we put a fake parking ticket on that woman's car, I knew we had something special. Things are crazy right now, but I will always love Christopher Columbus--Spillster

a.b.h. i know that you'll never see this, butyou still have a speical place in my heart a.n.

demi m. finaly i saw you in girls gone wild and i miss your tits ride quads naked again @ matts property this summer when you get back from centeral wash. collage? mr blue volvo

Happy Valentines day Silly Belly... How 'bout a Hoagie??

STEP ON UP SEXY... why don't you sprinkle some of that Old Bay all over my shaft and lick my spicy pickle!

I've given you kittens and sex that's just grand. You know that for you I'll meet any demand.

[who says love can't be found in one night?] I love you, Gabe.

Admie, I am sorry for all that has happend between us lately. But I love you so much, and I know that the year 2002 will be a wonderful new start. Be my Valentine? Meekie

stalking the sea monster, please .... when you go down on me there should be at least one finger working inside the VAGINA and a tongue on the clit. Otherwise I'd rather be picking zits off my ass.

To my lovely bow-bow Elizardbeth, everyday is a passion filled lovefest of snuggling, b-movies, kitties, hot salsa and monster love'n! Happy Valentines day my one and only baby machineist! you'r bow-bow for life, d.g.

Crispy... soooo happy;

You've got sweetest voice telling me how beautiful I am in the morning, and telling me I have the most beautiful pussy you've ever seen. I melt! I'm moist just thinking of you. I love you and your special ways. Happy Anniversary love. j

To my pootpig--what would I do without your sweet face, sexy voice, and adorable butt? Just wanted you to know that it's been four years and I still get butterflies thinking about you. You are my love angel. Smacks - lufpig

Feffer Anne--I may be at sea in body, but my heart is home with you... in bed drinking coffee in the morning.

L-E-S-L-E-Y S. Hope you have the love I couldn't offer. I hope you have great love and happieness in your life.

MELISSA CARROLL--This Valentine's for you!

To the prettiest, softest, coolest roommate/friend ever... Have a happy Valentine's Day, and don't get molested. (unless of course it's by me) Love, Miranda

Tishy, I'm so glad we are reunited. Bed-ins, adventures, and so much more. You shine. We shine. Do stay awhile. I love you.

allen: hanzel is looking for a little sugar in his bowl... can you find us a playmate! Can we keep him? the great bambenis

Bear--You are my super sexy stud! I'll always be your nasty nympho nemesis. -your closet porn star. Honey

My darling B. Lar... words are hard to find when I think of you and I together. These past seven(ish) months have flown, I can't imagine them without you. You are the greatest friend. "How many times have we kissed?" My reply: Not enough. We make a good team--you and I. Two dorks in love. Yours, Hannah.

Friss'n: Mmmm-Hmmm... What would I do without my most favorite playmate?! Thanks for all your love and support. You are the most funnest li'l tooter in the whole wide world! Loves, Mamma Dip

Davis: 25% Cherokee Indian + 1000% LUV machine=1 lucky girl and a supah red-hot Valentine's Day! You're everything I ever wanted. Love, love, love you to pieces, Anita

Valentine it's been exactly one year since your last appointment... you should come over soon... like a Tuesday evening. I could make unleaved manna bread toast with garlic and avocado. then just lay and breath. see ya soon. nicholas j.

My Dear Red Hot Kinky Electric Slinky Super Nova Wonder Woman. Dreams of Militia Penguins Floating Beds Flying Sex Smiley States Road Trips Haunted Houses Tree Houses Children Taking Their Revenge Electric Boogaloo Booty. I LOVE U!

dearest ones- i love you all! you are the best friends a girl and her dog-star could have! thanks for being such sweet special lovelies! true love always, bethe and evilla

dear pipo-te amo... you are the sweet beam of light that breaks my heart. here's to our future success and happiness. yours, bimbo

Dear Mattmo, I don't know blood is red, I don't know puss is green, One thing that I do know though is that I am a Matt fiend! I love you very much honey. Love always, Beth

Kelsey, Can I hug you and squeeze you, and call you George? Okay, forget the George part, can I hug you and squeeze you? Karma

My dearest Jeff, It seems as if during our times we seperated, we changed so much, but yet we still have everything in common. When i saw you last night for the first time in 3 months it made me realize that you are my first love and nothing will ever add up to that. I wish i could confess my feelings in words, but i can't because my love for you is so powerful. I love you.

you hang like a star. fucking glow in the dark.

Frank--I'm glad our paths have crossed and that we bummped into each other in this town. you are rad and i'm looking forward to becoming great friends. have a great valentine's day! xoxo lian

to: the church house. you bitches rock my ass. have a great valentine's day! xoxo lian

to: the m.t. house. drinking p.b.r.s and rock and rolling the night away. you kids are awesome! have a great valentine's! xoxo billie

i know your heart will keep me warm if you let me stay. Peechka--i hope you have a wonderful valentine's day!! i love ya lots! xoxo lian

Danny--You're so atypical, you never fail to amaze me, your words, your smile, your bellybutton, your lips, your unconformist and crusty ways... soulmates 11:11. Please stay mine. I love you, Teal

...My oh my that first night was a doosy aye? That "hike" from your house on Holgate to my house on Hawthorne. You were so friken' lound! Yap! Yap! Yap! I was sure cops would be flusing us out before we even made it to Division...but they never did come and after awhile your voice wasn't so loud, no, instead it became a full, bright song.

ALS--You're all AAA's in my book! smoochies. XORLT

Kristie M--I'm telling you, you're fawking HOTT! Kisses, James

So... is THIS romantic? You are the sweetest, most awesome girl in the world, and I couldn't possibly be more IN LOVE with you. I bet we are more in love than anyone on this page. Has it been three months?! Time flies! I love you so much! ""Choo-choo!""

Daniel my dearest sugar pie, I'm locking my bike to you. I'm locking my bike to you. Love me do, on Norweigen wood. I'm locking my bike to you. ~pucker squeek luv Blackbird

QT(Pi)--You rock my world too.

Rock & Roll Nicole, Can I call you Coco? Would you like to rollerskate with me? You're Portland's coolest girl. I go to Reading Frenzy Wednesday nights just to catch a glimpse of your glamour. Bumble-bee mine?

Twilla, you are the best single women I know. How could you bare to write your own valentine amongst the lovers of the world. Alas, you must let the world know what a rockin gal you are. So, Love and Kisses from me to Me. Happy Valentines Day

Bryan with a Y-I know that this isn't quite as exciting as being "seen", but I suppose it's the next best thing. Happy Valentine's day! Love, Your Smitten Kitten-Y

For my lucky Ace: Your eyes are big, beautiful and curious. You taste better than chocolate. I flush with lust, and love sweeps over me when I look at you. I can't keep my eyes off you, and God knows how hard it is to keep my hands off you. You visit me in my dreams, you have since the day I first laid eyes on you. I know this doesn't rhyme. But I still took the time to type this out... just for you, 'cause that's what Valentine's Day is about. I know you don't like to celebrate holidays. But I like to celebrate you, and the happiness I feel when we are together. With Love, from your sexy Mistress.

To sexy Vic: I love you girl. You probably taste sweet. May I have a lick? Happy Valentine's Day!

j-l0, you rock my world. i'm sure the blowjob i'll definitely give you on valentine's day will probably outdo this, but it's the thought that counts, right? -a

To Jared: You know you're hot. You know I hit the right spot. You also know I can't ryhme too well. But what the hell. You sing like a star. I hope I don't go too far when I tell you I Love you! You already know that, and your hot girlfriend too. Maybe someday I'll get both of you. Happy Valentine's Day to the sexiest, sweetest man I know! From your hot friend

HEY DANA--if i wanted to "sexually identify" myself with you and perhaps "homosexually intercourse" you, i'd be your valentine. but i guess we'll have to stick to being gender-specific straight losers. so much for 31337 status. -alice

Charlie Brown~I miss you when you're not around. Please come and get me. Oh, by the way, happy anniversary. It's been a fun 6 months. Let's run away together, and visit Carrie and your folks; then maybe you can finally get me that owl you've been promising me. Thanks for being nice to me even though my hair is knappy and my face is ugly.~The emmerino

You have a sassy sauce. Too bad you're my boss. But that never stopped you. Two sexy chicks are always better than one. So how 'bout it hon? Your flame blue eyes burn me, Just like the flame on your tongue. My lips beg to kiss yours, To feel your fire. Your ass is hot. Just tell me the spot. And I'll be there. Happy Valentine's Day!

Dan Berg, I love thee, Let me count the ways. 1.the beds of your fingernails; as dirty as your bed. 2.your hair; always needs a trim; yet always shorter than your beard. 3.your tattoos; remind me that a lot can be done with a walkman and a guitar string. Love Christy

Carissa~I love ya and I miss ya.~Emily

Go Missy, go Missy go! I love you, I love you so! I know you don't like girls, but you make my head swirl. You like ice cream... Well, I can give you that! Let me tell you girl, you are phat! Happy Valentine's Day sweety! From Deb

Happy Valentine's Day to the Racing Sluts. What can we expect this year?

You broke my heart lasy Valentine's Day. But now my heart is whole again. I don't need anyone to live for. I live for myself. I am with someone who gives me what you could never give me. I hope you stay single, so you don't break any other girl's heart. And if you're with someone, please don't hurt her. Happy Valentine's Day Chris

Erin, The sweetest peach in all of Christendom! I'm naked, shaved, slippery, and engorged--Thanks, Your Fault. Love Monkey.

Your eyes are deep and blue like the ocean. If only I could look deeper into your eyes, so that I could see your soul. For I love you, Amy. You are beautiful and lovely. Happy Valentine's Day!

Baby Tender: You are nice, you are very handsome, and you are my favorite person. Without you... not so much. Thanks for being so good. ---------> BTL

Clarissa, you sexy Irish Mint. I hope you have a thrilling Valentine's Day... with your boyfriend. I know you love him. But does he love you like I do?

To Jantel, you gentle creature of the night! You are so sexy and bright! I want to touch you, but I don't dare. Your boyfriend warns me with his evil stare. We all got hot on New Year's Eve. But the flame has grown and burns strong within me. I love him, and I love you! Please let me do BOTH of you! Happy Valentine's Day to my favorite lovers!

You are so sexy and you know it. You are so hot and oooh do you show it. Might you show me a little more? I swear I won't think you're a whore. You have a cute smile and kiss oh so well. If we do more than kiss I promise I won't tell. Happy Valentine's Day! From Deb

A trio of fun, and each one has his own beauty. STEVE--I just want to hug him all the time. JESSE is macho and strong, bearing tatoos and sexy piecrings. TRYSTAN has a voice and poise of a performer. His eyes and smile are radiant. All three of you studs light up a room when you enter. Happy Valentine's Day! From Deb

Jenny, You are so fun and so cool. Just like a cat, smooth and seductive. Meow! We have wild adventures whenever we're together, us crazy cats. Hiss! Maybe we'll have one on Valentine's Day. Purrr, Deb

You're so cool and intellectual. Is that just your mask? Charming with your humor, do you give more than people ask? Will you be my Valentine? From Deb

Oh Scott, you're so hot! Funny and charming, intellectual and deep. I hope you aren't just looks. I don't like cheap. Be Mine. Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine's Day to Carrie, Michael, Sacha, Brian, and Alexis! You hot sexy cats! Love, Deb

i love you jeremy.

A few lines of verse, for sweet NVD- lest she not know, what she means to me. She changed my life, then she went away--- I still think about her, every day.

T-Bone--Just a reminder of where we've been: 1. Kinda I Want To 2. Under the used cd's 3. Tattoo by Design 4. Gravity Kills our car on the freeway 5. Digital cable to Peter tv We have so much more time. I love you.

Hey Bee-atch! Yo, yo, yo, check it out. I wanna say so many things to you. i mean, Life's so fuckin' Wack without you, Ah-ight? like, you're the the cheese, and i'm the macaroni. Damn!

my sun's gone black, and the star's gone from the sky. but i still love you, yeah i still love you. please let me in.

G-Funk--DAAAAAYUMMM, baby! I want a piece of that azz... Sheeit... You make my hizzle go rizzle-dizzle-izzle, so let's get the hook up (yo) and knock some boots. Awwww, yeah... X's & O's from yo' number one hizzoe, J-Bro

Dear Andrea's Mom and Dad, Thank you for having sex. Sincerely, E p.s. Andrea rocks me \m/

Hello lovely woman. Run in joy. Whoever you are. I work hard. I wait for your peace. And hope somehow every good thing leaving my hands quietly touches you.

Dear Sugar Pop, Our love bellows like golden soup from a styrofoam box into a succulant Garden Hidden in the Dryest Hills of Death Valley. Love Mr. Farts a lot (Your night in shining armor)

Ty-Grr, Fingers in pie, teary eye choking me. Outta sight, never mind. Can't fool fate, secret soulmate. When time is right. Will help with guilty pleasure. Sin'd.

Cookie. Thanks for the Fairytale.

Christine, I cuff you, I stuff you. I luff you. -M

Alex, Alysa, April, Bev, Patty, & Rachael. You little cupcakes make my life so sweet. Love Allie.

ANIMAD teews ym. I shine for you here! Handsome And Nine-feet-tall Sideburns. Tall, Outgoing. Marriage-material, Really sweet, Really sensative, Yours. WE SHOULD FOREVER! --Amelia

Gimmie a kooss Andy! (take boy. take girl. take love. open drawer. take bowl. put boy in bowl. put girl in bowl. put love in bowl. mix.) amelia loves andrew.

To Stephen Malkmus' girlfriend. Baby, your man is weak. His solo record was terrible, come along to greener pastures... me.

To my faverite Paranoid Android, You know how to push all my buttons. Love, Charlene

Paul Varjak to Holly Golightly: "and for one moment I swear we were the fabled red spark from the cinnamon Lifesaver."

I like seeing a movie twice in a row and having too much to say and not enough time to kiss you. Happy Valentine's to my best new friend!

Booper, Happy Valentine's to the best pug in Portland. Who loves Boops? I love Boops!

Jason from The Jockey Club--you are the cutest punk rocker in town!


Sheila and Leia, my favorite chicks! Happy Valentines. xox tiffany

MEECH-I love you!! -Jon

BAT-SEAN: 14 months and 1236 miles later, and I am still captured by you. You sexy beast, you. BAT-ANNA

My prince. Although I'm not with you this year my love is transcending the Pacific. Thank you for 4 years of the richest friendship. Happy V. Okie boo.

magpie--you are my sunshine. you mean the world to me and i miss you lots. i'll love you always. heart, mista.

Danny-boy, you are my new world of enigmatic honesty. We are two elements of an anabolic reaction, creating a shower of sparks. I love you! Kisses! Your pie-girl, K-doll.

Pussywillow, you'll always be the wood in my Ravenswood. Meow. Love & Honeydust, your Puffy Muff

Boyfriend-- so glad that we will be together for Valentine's Day. Thought our time apart would be much longer. I LOVE YOU!!!! your girlfriend, your wife

Puppy, Your love keeps me warm at night and alive all day. Make love to me forever. Love, Professor Flower Bottom.

mai-mai, cuz yo unce, tice, tree times da madey and I luh uh uh uv you, I luh luh luh luv you!!!!!!!!!!!!!~spanky

Sweetness, You and the moon are a beautiful sight to me. As lovers, friends and partners go, you've set the standard. Baby, we've only just begun... I love you! -GreenEyes

MIlina Ween,Chickaaan!Goood. Messed up... like me.Girl with the far away eyes. Silly. Sweeeeeet!Sexy hippie geek. Giggly. Blue. Lushious. You tired little one? Too cooooo for schoooo. Love, Shoosh

Dear Darcy, Life can be funny and life can be sad. Just know that we'll be together, through the good and the bad! Love always, Dean!

To Chris: I love your hugging therapy and reflexology sons, please be my valentine. Satisfaction a garotte!

Even though Valentines blows, I'd just like to take a moment to say... LIMES! so many limes, endless limes, limes, limes, limes. All for you.

To all those beautiful women out there. The girls at Seatle's Best, I love you. To the bartender girl at the Marathon, I love you. To the blonde girl at Decades Vintage Clothes, I love you. Sorry to those I've missed.

To that evil, sea-hag, witch of a girl, who once called me a walking zit, or zit with feet... I've had lazer surgery on my face, and it's worked wonders. So how ya like me now, BE-ATCH!!!!

Kemper, You're my angel, I love you very much. Such a lucky girl am I to have you for a friend, roomie, fellow geek, & boyfriend. -C

Mommy and Daddy, I love you. Thank you for being my mommy and daddy. (Dictated to Auntie Claire) Love, Alison Rose

BTANEY On this Crappentine's Day I promise to smother you with hugs, kisses, and nipple tweeking without any attention towards the millionaire plastered on my wall. I love you. ADUBZ

Kaleo, Happy Valentines Day my sweet little man. I love you, and I can't wait to start our new life together! you get more beautiful by the day. Michele

Geoffrey Luryd Fabritzio, my best friend & most beloved! I adore you beyond reason. I never imagined I would find such bliss. Will you keep me always? Your ash'keyana, Lilith

i love you PUDDIN-POP-O-LOVE-A-BABABOW. i'm sooo happy i'm finally here, next to you, where i belong. home... safe... extraordinary... ours. always, yours.

AMAZING ARMENIAN PRINCE: egg babies are good babies.i'm your .x. valentine.

BABABABABABABABOW. meow-bahbow. mrrreow meow buh meowmeow. yer kitty cat loves you. yer purrrrrfect.

SHNOOKS, my precious cake walk saint. i love you thiiiiiiiiis much. luv, old school ugly.

TINY GENIUS BABY sugar is for jerks. sucanot esaian is for lovers. love, your devoted mother, valentino.

WEASEL my heart has crazy green hair. you built my eiffel tower, i'll build your temple. i love you forever, ace*

PAPER HEART, u fold me up into the nite sky, we live together there with stars in our eyes. it will be perpetual winter without you. i love you mega crazy, m.

NAAARF You, Panahachel, New Year's, our love, and a life time to look forwar too. happy valentines "gorjeus," be ware of pink elephants

MAMA. thank you for the daffodil princible. your fingers have woven luminous webs through mine. poverty breeds resourcefulness. golden hearts spin golden strings. i love you, wild pony girl.

to all my lovers!!!! i've got more than one! HAHA

to my main bitch jero! happy valntines day! now go get laid! ecu*

Mark Booth has me wrapped around his finger.

Dina, let's serve cabbage soup at the reception and honeymoon in Arizona. I am being serious!

Dear Bartt, Rose's are red, Violet's are bule, Suger is sweet, but not as sweet as u. HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!! Love Shana and McKenzie.

Lai, Sex is when a guys comunication, Enters a girl information To increase the population, For a younger generation, Do you get the information, Or do you need my demonstration?

Jennifer (Dough's gurl), I Love You and care about you a lot Babeee... And just wanted to wish you a Happy Valentines Day with meeh..hehehe.....

Lai, Happy valentines Day... Have fun and enjoy the day okay... take care of yourself... see ya laters...

Through thick and thin, rain or shine, I'll always be yours, you'll always be mine. I love you, Peter. Love, Molly

MOOOOPS! Kisses deluxe, I love you with all my kisses. I'm looking forward to a lifetime of nice making with you. Being nice is nice!

hey kel. i love you. So do tito and naws--so maybe you should clean their cage? And while you're at it, look for the fist mystery page.

To my saxy girlfriend, the best of valentine's days. from your bone boy.

happy v-day tower records #168! sa,sw,rs,jm,lh,jf,rb,cl,bb,rr, jb,al,af,tt,bw,dm,gf,jj,ps,mc,lg, & dw! love lizzie

happy valentine's day to my jack-lobster bran muffin. vous et nul autre. love, jack-lobster betsy wetsy.

Mouse, You are the best bush-diggin', mosaic-riggin', bailey's-swiggin' girl I ever kissed. Three more years? Maybe your next valentine will be from junior? I love you. Tigger

Oh Juan, my stimulator! How I cherish your whispered sarcasm, your criticism of my pee rate, your midnight laughter at Boobi's expense! If only you were my flavor... Love, Me

Happy VD. So relieved we're STD free. Celebrate with enthusiastic intercourse?

beavermunch, each day with you is like a morning, afternoon, and evening all crammed into one hellacious block of time. i love the way it feels. whoopie! a. boy

Posse, Happy Valentine's day, I love all y'all! XOXO Miss Melanie

Brett, It's been a whole year and I still love you as much as I did the first time we met. You have a part of my heart forever. Christopher

For my dirty doggie boy. Will you Be My Valentine? I am yours every day of the year. I ruv you. I am the luckiest girl in the world.

For Catie, Great dancing with you. I would love to swim in a pool of Jagermeister and meet you at my "spare room". Endless love, Gino

Mr. F Pants. You don't suck or anything, and you're not even stupid or ugly. Heart, The Girl Next Door

OldeSkool: I am happy you are my Valentine baby! Happy 34th too!! Now let's go get freaky since that's what we do best!! Lots of love, Shannon

Dearest Jonafari, How I long to steal you away from your girlfriend so that I may be one of the small hill people! I love you, Love me?-Cravin

Jae- I'm crazy and you're a jerk, but I'm just kidding about the crazy part. Love, Crazy

Dearest Jucy Bruce, I am so sorry to hear you were getting married without me having a chance to do you like Jared from Subway! (wink, nudge) -big red!

Dixon Boy Wonder, As your partner in crime fighting, I have noticed that my feeling are no longer platonic! I long for your Bat Cave again! Professor M

Stinky- Redeem this valentines for sex/blow job anytime. Sunshine

jlestat, Brother to the mountain. Trees bless you with snow. Laughing, you offer your dance of thanks. Longing to hear your heart again. Sweet Prince, will you be mine? mutepoet

Hey diddle diddle it's mr. riddle. So tall, so shy, your music makes me fly. You don't know who I am and that's ok, I'm sure others feel the same way.

YOU ARE MY SUNNNSHINE, MY ONLY SUUUNSHINE... that's the only part I sing to you--no matter if we are just friends or lovers, it's forever true. kaki

Courtney, I like having sex with you, even if you don't wear deodorant. Happy Valentine's Day.

Aileen-You are my sun my moon and all my stars! Each and every day you fill my life with love, and I'm looking forward to spending the rest of our lives together. Love, Brentano

Mook. Your sucelent radient ass is the love of my life, it is the first thought on my mind when I wake, and the last as I lay my head on it to go to bead. Love, Tom

Mukund, I can't deny myself any longer, I need the sweet sweet candy that is you right now. How can you expect me to deny my carnal urges? Love, Mom

Dearest Julia, You are more sophisticated than the most intricate Steely Dan composition. Luv, Jon

Mr. Brady, Do me like a dirty whore, and I'll be yours forever more. xoxoxo Your Hon.

I lied on the SEX SURVEY. Mark is not the most fuckable Portland man. He's the most fuckable man ever. I love him even when I don't say it back.

For My Lesbian Lover: Catherine. Oh, I love the way your rolls of fat envelope me every night. The soft coo of your whiny bitching. The way your eyes are all squinty, but just for me. Oh Baby!

To Stephen Malkmus' girlfriend. Baby, your man is weak. His solo record was terrible, come along to greener pastures... me.

I HATE EVERYONE!!! But you, I hate everyone, but you. I hate everyone. HATE HATE HATE. HATE HATE HATE!!! I hate every one BUT YOU SARA!!!

Shannon and Andrea, I can't choose between the two of you... Will you both be my Valentine? Love, Heath Ledger

Mouse, You are the best bush-diggin', mosaic-riggin', bailey's-swiggin' girl I ever kissed. Three more years? Maybe your next valentine will be from junior? I love you. Tigger