Sex Jan 25, 2009 at 12:00 pm

Comments

1
In the O article, Beau sounded coached. Very well coached. It's way too early to say what rules were broken and by whom.
2
Did Sam really uphold your campsite rule? Did he "correct any misconceptions they may have" when he (admittedly) coached the kid to lie for him after? If so, he made the petard 'pon which he's hoist by the kid today. No tea or sympathy owed.
3
You're twisting your own rule beyond recognition, Dan.

First, your application of the campsite rule to Sam concludes that since Sam didn't get Beau pregnant, give him a desease or addict him to meth, Sam passed the test.

That sounds to me like a much looser standard than your original description. (Let's call this the "Sam Adams addenda" to the campsite rule.)

Second, your new Tea and Sympathy rule is problematic in two ways. For one thing, the mere fact that Beau was interviewed by the Oregonian and told the truth only means that, at most, he's done something ill-advised. His statements (as reported anyway) suggest that he thinks he's being helpful to Sam.

Hurting someone by mistake can hardly be a violation of your rule, which presupposes *intentional* behavior. Kids are always going to do foolish and ill-advised thing; that's why they're kids. (It's also why they aren't legally allowed to consent to sex.)

In addition, while it may be ill-advised to talk to the press, it is probably only a matter of days before he is asked the exact same questions by an investigator from the DOJ, at which time he will be required to tell the truth. Requiring someone to obstruct justice just to meet your new rule makes your rule pretty suspect.

So Dan, I've had a great deal of respect for your work in the past, but you've gotten this one badly wrong.

In the law, there's a saying: "bad facts make bad law." I ask you to look forward, imagine a reader's question and consider whether your new rules, as applied here, would be the same advice you'd give them.

I feel confident you wouldn't apply the campsite rule/Sam Adams addenda to someone who lied and sanctimoniously cried "homophobia" but hadn't given their partner a pregnancy, desease or addiction.

You also, I think, would waive your Tea and Sympathy rule in a case where the harm to the older partner occurred by the younger person telling the truth in a criminal investigation.
4
I'm still willing to forgive Sam.

However, I am also copyrighting the phrase, "A career ended with a kiss." All users of the phrase will owe me a royalty.
5
So, Adams has been honorable for upholding this version of the campfire rule, whereas Breedlove has not. I was going to restrain myself from typing, "You're kidding, right?" but being stuck in the Rochester, NY airport for eight has apparently drained my usual store of good will.

What doesn't seem to be taken into consideration here, and regardless of whether you think Adams should be put in the stockade or deified, is that at 42 (now 45) you might expect him to act like a grown-up. I don't know anyone in his/her right mind that expects the same of a 17-year-old. As for speaking now, at 22, Breedlove can speak to anyone he damn pleases; it's not his responsibility, misplaced alliances/affections or no, to plug the dike that Adams, though his lying, breached.
6
If there is an angle here, I'd ask Dan to explain it. All I can see is tortured logic. Boring.
7
It's not about the sex or Sam's personal life.

It's about lack of leadership, not being able to handle a crises, not showing up to work, and putting your own personal issues and drama above the work you were voted in office to do as a public servant. It's about coaching others to lie for you during an election. It's about hiring unqualified staff such as Amy Ruiz with insider connections, including a strong connection and friendship to Sam's most vocal supporter, Dan Savage. It's about cronyism and lack of respect and trust. It is about a leader that should show maturity and professionalism.

Repeat. This is not about sex or Sam's personal life.
8
It's strange to hear someone say things they know will do serious harm to someone they profess to like so much as a friend.

Unless, of course, the *whole* truth is much worse.

FGS, this is nothing more than a desperate attempt at damage control.
9
"Adams upheld the campsite rule. Breedlove hasn't honored the Tea and Sympathy rule."

I'm thinking it's likely a good thing Savage isn't consulted by the legal department of the Stranger/Mercury. Or apprently the editing department?

Breedlove was underage. There are no rules that should be applied to an underage child when a man twice your age sticks his tongue down your throat. That Savage expects Breedlove to follow his made up fairy-land ruleset but Adams to have free reign of a minor's sexual upbringing is somewhat scary. And people take the advice of this man's column?!
10
I was pleased to see Breedlove's angle on what happened, and honestly not out of prurience. The interview cleared up the nagging age question reasonably well, however you choose to judge kissing a 17-year-old for about a minute.

Your campsite rule is very good regardless of age, but I don't think someone who made out when he was legally underage has an obligation to gentlemanly discretion. The guy's, what, 21 now? He's still hardly bathing in worldly wisdom, and he must be under pretty intense scrutiny. They certainly didn't teach being at the center of a media shitstorm when I was in school.

I think a lot of people are being blinded by affection for Sam Adams. If this were someone else, someone you didn't previously like, would you still think what Adams did was okay and that Breedlove was the scoundrel, to use a Tea and Sympathy sort of word?
11
Since we're getting all allegorical here, Dan, I'd like to pose a further question about your "campfire rule"...

What happens when reckless campers burn down the whole goddamn forest?

That's whats happening now, and will continue to happen, long after Adams is recalled and relegated to the dustbin of lying sleazeball politicians with compulsive dysfunctions.
12
In the original WW article, it sounded like Breedlove was upset that Bob Ball's reputation was damaged by the mess last year. I'd speculate that Breedlove is admitting, in a sort of half-assed way, that Ball's allegations were at least partly right.
13
God, I'm getting tired of this wallowing in someone's private life. I get the feeling Breedlove has an agenda and so I hope it takes a lot more than just his allegations to cost Sam Adams his job.

I'm hearing some say Sam is a "predator" because Breedlove was under 18 when the alleged kiss happened. I'm not getting the impression Breedlove qualifies as prey, are you?

I've even heard some people float the word "pedophile." A true pedophile is interested in true children. At some point a person graduates from being a child to being a young adult. Let's not confuse statutory abuse with true psychological pedophilia. A pedophile is primarily or ONLY interested in pre-adults. A predator tries to get a party interested in doing something against their interest or even against their will.

We should stop throwing around inflammatory terminology. It's irresponsible. The lives and careers of two people are at stake here.
14
Yeah, so when 40-year old men are caught with their dick in the mouth of 17-year-old's and they tell us it's just this one time, we should let them go! Maybe make it a three-cocks-and-you're-out* rule.


*Double entendre
15
@3.5:

"Yeah, so when 40-year old men are caught with their dick in the mouth of 17-year-old's...": That hasn't happened in this case. Not yet at least.

The truth is bad enough. Stop spreading disinformation.
16
One of the articles last week had quotes from breedlove's next boyfriend, who was also around 40. The guy likes older men, end of story...
17
With adulthood comes the responsibility to have a modicum of impulse control. The best way to leave a 17 year old's "campsite" better off is to leave them alone.
18
I've even heard some people float the word "pedophile." A true pedophile is interested in true children. At some point a person graduates from being a child to being a young adult. Let's not confuse statutory abuse with true psychological pedophilia. A pedophile is primarily or ONLY interested in pre-adults. A predator tries to get a party interested in doing something against their interest or even against their will.

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