As far as I can tell, Dan is not only making a direct comparison between infidelity and sexual assault, and assumes this letter writer's peer group will think exactly the same way.

If this is true, I am fucking quitting humanity.

CMcCurdy, Quit humanity.

Infidelity doesn't excuse molestation. Dan is known to edit his letters; we don't know how accurately this letter represents the woman. "[A]ll my friends will think I'm making this up" is a completely different problem from "I don't want to ruin his life" and the close juxtaposition of these two statements emphasizes the confused motives of the writer.

CMcCurdy, I think you don't know how to evaluate statements of fact. Dan is simply repeating the woman's points back to her. In his hurry he forgot to add a morality-affirming tagline but the comparison between infidelity and abuse exists only in your head. D.S.'s response illustrates the pointlessness of overmuch soul-searching. If this woman is surrounded by misogynistic assholes, they're going to blame her no matter what she does or why she does it. The real question is how long it will take for her to stop hanging out with misogynistic assholes she doesn't feel safe to share unpleasant experiences with.