That may be the best thing you've ever written. Normally it's all manner of Bieber crap, but the image of your frightened member, careening wildly into traffic, that's gold.
Good lord, I saw one of the Glee promos on TV with her in it last night. I thought it was Lorne Green after a bad meth run. My penis didn't run into traffic (we do have an agreement in that regard), but I still died a little bit.
UP
GWYNETH
PALTROW
UGH