A few years back I wrote to you about myself and a guy I had been dating. I expressed how I was concerned with the fact that one of his favorite things to do was to have me completely nude while I worship his feet as he eats, watched tv, has a smoke. I was worried he was degrading me and wondered if I should let it continue. Your advice was something like explore my feelings, i.e. if it turned me on, I should go with it. I did. And I wanted to let you know me and my guy are still together—living together, actually, and we have a wild sex life that still involves his feet and degrading me. It's all in good sexual fun though and in real life he treats me very well as I do him. Just goes to show you two people can meet and be a perfect sexual match.

Thanks for you advice to hang in there!

New Foot Licker

My response after the jump...


Thanks for taking the time to send an update, NFL, and I encourage everyone out there who is dating someone with a kink right now, might date someone with a kink in the future, or has a kink themselves—in other words, I'm encouraging everyone—to go and read NFL's original letter, which appeared in the column in 2007.

A lot of people have the same reaction that NFL did when a new partner—someone they genuinely like, someone they had regarded as potential boyfriend/girlfriend material—reveals their kink. A lot of these non-kinksters bolt, which was what NFL was on the verge of doing, because they either mistake the unfamiliar for the "not okay" or because they're freaked out by their own willingness to go there—to get into something they've never done before and/or looked down on other people for getting into—to please this new partner.

As NFL's experience demonstrates, sometimes a willingness to go there—to go naked to the floor and lick the bottoms of your partner's feet, in NFL's case—can lead to true love with a wild sex life as a bonus. A win-win.

Congrats, NFL!