I'm writing in response to Happily Married Woman.

I'm an atheist in a happy marriage, and a Christian friend of mine who's probably a virgin has expressed some hoping to find the kind of relationship I have. What she doesn't know is that I spent a decade slutting it up before getting married—threesomes, sex with men and women, BDSM, playing with electricity, pretty everything—and that my marriage is an open one.

I understand this isn't the conventional way to do things, but I'm not writing to ask why most people wouldn't recommend this... because I get it. Having sex the way I did means higher chances of contracting
something and it requires an ability and willingness to detach from sex emotionally that not all women have or would want to have. It's worked out well—so far, at least—for my husband and I. But I would not recommend this to my friend because we have different values and interests sexually. I also recognize that luck has played a major role in this. Basically, just because something worked for me doesn't mean it's a good idea for everyone. I think the standard way most people do things, where they have sex before getting married but not quite as much of it with quite as many people, is probably a better way for them.

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