I am a 22-year-old mostly straight female dating a man in his late 30s. He is awesome to me and we have had a lovely six months thus far. Recently he opened up to me about having a threesome down the road, whenever we are both comfortable. Me, another female, and him. I told him that I didn't have a problem with this, which is the honest truth. The problem is this: I also have a threesome fantasy: me, him, and another male. I recieved the same reacton from this man as I did from my most recent ex: disgust and revulsion. Any attempt to include another man would signal the end of our relationship, he informed me, and that my fantasy crosses the line into homosexuality! I have never acted on this fantasy, probably because the reaction I get from the men I have felt comfortable enough to tell typically goes this way. Once again this fantasy of mine has landed me in the catagory of a whore! I am not a whore! I want my boyfriend to know there is nothing "homo" about a straight MMF threeway, just as there's nothing "lesbo" about a FFM threeway, and that wanting to do this does not make me a slut! I don't see the big difference between his fantasy and mine! He's a straight man and he wants to be with two girls at once. I'm a straight woman and I want to be with two men at once! Your advice will be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

Not A Slut

My response after the jump...


My advice: date younger men, NAS. There are homophobic younger men out there, of course, but guys closer to your own age—according to all the data—are generally less homophobic, less panicked about being perceived as gay, and less paranoid that brushing up against another unclothed penis-having human during a MMF threeway will turn them gay.

But, young or old, you shouldn't waste another precious moment of your time or affection on any guy who would call you a slut and a whore—or make you feel like a slut and a whore—because you dared to share a normal and completely common sexual fantasy with him.

Frankly, NAS, your elderly boyfriend sounds like an entitled POS and I think you should DTMFA. You can screw better.

A Note About Yesterday's SLLOTD: On Monday I responded to a letter from "Thanks For Reading." He enjoyed having sex with men but was only romantically (and sexually) attracted to women. I somehow deleted the word "never" from this sentence when I was formatting TFR's letter: "I have never hooked up with a guy while I was involved with a woman." That's a pretty significant formatting error right there. For the record: TFR has never cheated on anyone.