Huh. You dont say.
Huh. You don't say. Twitter

Today finds many of the internet's biggest companies and sites advocating for net neutrality—Google, Amazon, Reddit, Twitter, Netflix, Spotify, Twitch, OkCupid, Kickstarter, and more are all speaking out against the FCC's plans to break the internet. (Yo Apple, where you at?)

Make no mistake: It can sound wonky and techy and annoying, but net neutrality is huge, and if FCC Chairman/Trump's buddy Ajit Pai gets his way, humanity's primary means of communication will cease being a democratic institution and instead possibly become one more way for companies like Comcast, AT&T, Verizon, and Time Warner to fuck everybody over—curtailing the reach of formerly free information and news, charging people more to access the vital information they need, and (this will probably be the thing that pisses off the most people, honestly) slowing down access to TV shows.

Generally, giant corporations with shitty profit motives at least try to be sneaky when they're being dicks. Not Comcast, America's most-hated company, which for weeks has been fighting a losing battle to win over Twitter users. Weirdly, Comcast remains apparently oblivious to the fact everyone hates them not only in meatspace, but on Twitter too—and on Twitter, everyone can make it clear they see through the two-faced bullshit about net neutrality Comcast is copy and pasting into replies.


Dan's been having a busy day.


Look, Dan might be some poor bastard Comcast hired to deal with this. He might be a collection of poor bastards Comcast hired to deal with this. He might be a bot. (Cleary, bots are very invested in this net neutrality business.) All we know for sure is that Dan is a lying spineless corporate lickspittle who's on the wrong side of history. But still, I feel kinda bad for Dan? Poor Dan.

I'll be the first to admit Twitter has devolved into a fetid rot-swamp of screeching, masochistic ghosts—I used to live on there, and now I avoid it like I avoid driving past ex-girlfriends' houses. But every once in a while? Every once in a while, it's alright.

In closing and in retrospect, I would like to apologize for using the phrase "Yo Apple, where you at?"