Opening This Week

Cosi fan tutte
Suitors woo each other's finances to win a bet, but instead of talking, they sing. Portland Opera Company, 1515 SW Morrison, 241-1802, Sat, Mon, Wed 8 pm, through Feb 16, $26 and up

Triple Espresso, A Highly Caffeinated Comedy
Magic and theater mix in this fictitious reunion of the once-promising comedy team, "Maxwell, Butternut, and Bean." Triple Espresso, at the Portland Art Museum, Portland Art Museum, 2nd Floor, 1219 SW Park, Tues-Thurs, Sat-Sun 7:30 pm, Fri 7 pm, Sat-Sun 3 pm, through April 21, $39-45, includes dessert and coffee

Lorca's erotic tale of a woman imprisoned by her own imagination. The Miracle Theater, 525 SE Stark Street, 236-7253, Thurs 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat 8 pm, through Mar 9, $15

One Week Only

And God Created Whales
A memory-impaired composer struggles to complete an opera based on Moby Dick. Newmark Theater, Portland Center for the Performing Arts, SW Broadway & Main, 274-6588, Thurs-Sat 8 pm, $20-23

The Green Eyed Monster
Scenes, monologues, and sonnets from Shakespeare, on jealousy and betrayal. Reed College, 3203 SE Woodstock Blvd, 522-9453, Thurs-Sun 8 pm, $1-3

Closing This Week

Driving Miss Daisy
Aging, crotchety, white Southern lady meets proud, soft-spoken black man in this Pulitzer-Prize winning heart warmer. Triangle Productions, at Theater! Theatre!, 3430 SE Belmont, 239-5919, Thurs 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat 8 pm, Sun 5 pm, through Feb 9, $15-19

Nunsense 'A Men'
The age-old story of men dressed up as nuns. Flying Rhinoceros Theater, 1440 NW Overton Street, 239-5919, Fri-Sat 8 pm, through Feb 9, $15

The Invitation
The story of what would happen if the characters in your dreams decided to beat you over the head with a hammer in order to teach you a lesson about love. Lightbox Studio, 1306 NW Hoyt, 231-0839, Fri-Sun 8 pm, $7 (suggested donation)

Current Runs

The Bottom Rung
Sketch comedy with vampires, wrestlers, secret agents, ninjas, and much more. The Bottom Rung, at the Back Door, 4319 SE Hawthorne, 231-8191, Fri-Sat 10:30 pm, through Feb 16, $6

After the Zipper
This one contains a three-person orgy and full-frontal nudity... I... am... THERE. Stark Raving, at the CoHo Theatre, 2257 NW Raleigh, 232-7072, Thurs-Sat 8 pm, Sun 7 pm, through Mar 2, $10-20

Ashes to Ashes and A Kind of Alaska
Profile continues their season of Pinter with two of his later one acts. Alaska, about a woman who wakes from a 29-year coma, has an extremely unoriginal, but still intriguing premise that is ruined by a one-note performance by Jean Miller as the woman. Ashes, a trippy study of the final hours in a dysfunctional couple's relationship, fares slightly better thanks to the comic timing of Don Alder. Neither play, however, is entertaining enough to warrant being pointless. The Profile Theatre Project at Theater! Theatre!, 3430 SE Belmont, 242-0080, Thurs-Sat 8 pm, Sun 2 pm, through Feb 17, $12-20

Enter The Guardsman
A comedy about a famous acting couple with infidelity issues. Sylvia's Class Act Dinner Theater, 5115 NE Sandy Blvd, 288-6828, Thurs-Sat 6:15 pm, Sun 5:15 pm, through March 2, $31.95 (includes dinner)

Hal Foreen: Vinyl Vaccine
The product of an illicit affair between Buster Keaton and Moby, this show mixes silent scenes with music to create vignettes of comic delight. Brody Theater, 1904 NW 27th Ave, 224-0688, Fri-Sat 8:30 pm, through Feb 23, $10

Phaedra's Love
Stellar performances by Madeleine Sanford as Phaedra and James Moore as the filthy sloth, Hippolytus, make the first half of this violent, over-sexed rendition of Seneca's ancient tragedy a mesmerizing treat. Moore fills the room with nastiness, and Sanford is all oozing temptress, as his conquest-obsessed stepmom who falls in love with him. Hippolytus resists, Phaedra pursues, and the seduction scene between them crackles with repellent energy. From there, the play goes downhill, primarily because Phaedra dies soon after. Without the fabulous chemistry of her leading characters, playwright Sarah Kane seems to run out of interesting things to write about and resorts to excessive, almost ludicrous violence to finish things off. The show never becomes boring, but its jarring, confusing switch from subtle power play to copious gorefest leaves something to be desired. Defunkt Theatre, at the Back Door Theater, 4319 SE Hawthorne Blvd, 993-9062, Thurs-Sat 8 pm, Sun 4 pm, through Feb 16, $8-15

Richard II
The tale of the Poet King who brought his country to the verge of rebellion and ruin. Tygres Heart Shakespeare Company, 1111 SW Broadway, 288-8400, Thurs 7 pm, Fri-Sat 8 pm, Sat-Sun 2 pm, through Feb 17, $18-36

St. Nicholas
The marvelous Ted Rosium stars in this meditation on sex, ennui, love, and vampires. Cygnet, at the Russell Street Theatre, 116 NE Russell St, 493-4077, Thurs-Sat 8 pm, through Feb 23, $12-15

The Fiddler on the Roof
The story of Tevye, Tzeitel, Motel, Hodel, Perchik, Chava, and Fyedka... among others. Lakewood Theatre Company, 368 S State St, 635-3901, Thurs-Sat 8 pm, Sun 2 pm & 7 pm, through Feb 17, $20-22

Where's Toto?
One-woman show by lesbian performer, Dorothy A. Hirsch. Stark Raving, at the CoHo Theatre, 2257 NW Raleigh, 232-7072, Fri-Sat 10:30 pm, through Mar 2, $12