Opening This Week

Eric Bogosian's entertaining play about slacker kids hanging around outside gas stations. PSU Theater Dept, at Lincoln Hall, 1620 SW Park Ave, 725-4612, Fri-Sun 7:30 pm, through May 2, $6

The Tale of the Allergist's Wife
Charles Busch's comedy about middle-aged wealthy hoity-toits. Starring the excellent Susannah Mars. Triangle Productions, at Theater! Theatre!, 3430 SE Belmont, 239-5919, Opens Fri, runs Thurs 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat 8 pm, Sun 5 pm, through May 15, $17-23

One Week Only

* Dina Martina
The funniest burnt-out, crooning drag queen in America does not perform often, so get those tickets now. This event will sell out. Echo Theater, 1515 SE 37th Ave, 224-8499, Sat 8 pm, $15-18

Shakespeare Jubilee
This free event sponsored by the Northwest Classical Theatre Company is exactly what it sounds like: a smattering of readings and soliloquies from throughout the Shakespeare canon, performed by good actors like Tobias Anderson, Leif Norby, and plenty more. Northwest Cultural Center, 1819 NW Everett, 274-4771, Fri 7:30 pm, free

Closing This Week

Am I Turning to a Fish?
The players in Fish? assume their roles as office drones, stuck in the perpetual motion of the professional hamster wheel, their only solace coming in the form of fantasy and group dementia. They argue, fuck, chase each other around like mircats, but by no means does anyone work. Unfortunately the intentionally nebulous structure, mood, and aesthetic doesn't work either. Brutally long stretches of improvised dialogue render potentially charming characters vacant. The collage of interrupting television segments was like watching my stoned college roommate surf through basic cable. TP Pacific Crest School, 116 NE 29th, 230-2090, Fri-Sat 8 pm, through April 24, $10-15

Missing Mona a.k.a. Leo's Lost Notebook
Missing Mona often tempts the audience with a coherent storyline, three-dimensional characters, and clever dialogue, but these take the form of a carrot on a string, teasing the viewer into trudging along. Much more interesting is the unique choreography, the layers of projected text, and the hand-scratched 16mm film set to dream-drop music. TP Imago Theater, 17 SE 8th Ave, 231-9581, Thurs 7:30, Fri-Sat 8 pm, through April 24, $10-15

* The Jack Slate Radio Show
Slate's tongue-in-cheek detective story is played out as a radio drama, with the actors planted in front of a lone microphone. Jack Slate (played with charming, oblivious bravado by Nathan Markiewicz) investigates a murder that took place during his favorite radio show, interacting with a varied assortment of citizens, informants, and crooks, including reporter Joanna Feist (a campy, wry Andrea Algiers). It's the audience's job to imagine the visuals, with help from clever sound effects via Rocco George and Cole Pensinger, whose physical comedy largely justifies the decision to make Slate a play rather than an actual radio drama. EH Ego Productions, at Disjecta, 116 NE Russell, 784-4904, Fri-Sun 8 pm, through April 25, $10

The Outsiders
In NWCT's stage adaptation of S.E. Hinton's The Outsiders, many elements from the book are missing. Gone is the dynamic family chemistry between the Curtis bros Darry, Sodapop, and Ponyboy; gone are the rich characterizations of troubled Dallas, and sweetly endearing Sodapop. These things have been gutted to cram The Outsiders' frequently hackneyed storyline into a bite-sized 90-minute chunk. JWS Northwest Children's Theater, 1819 NW Everett St, 222-4480, Fri-Sat 7 pm, Sun 2 pm, through April 25, $14-18

Current Runs

Fully Committed
All restaurant employees take note: Fully Committed is an allegedly hilarious one-man skewering of the awful customers that make your lives so miserable. Portland Center Stage, 1111 SW Broadway, 274-6588, Tues-Wed, Sun 7 pm, Thurs-Sat 8 pm, Sun 2 pm, Thurs 12 pm, through May 30, $16-51

Landscape With Stick Figures
A new addition to the increasingly popular theatrical genre known as "docudrama," this play by Steven Alan McGaw features over thirty roles, and is a meditation on violence in schools. Stark Raving, at the Coho Theatre, 2257 NW Raleigh, 232-7072, Thurs-Sat 8 pm, Sun 7 pm, through May 8, $10-18

* Lobby Hero
ART's Second Stage productions are typically awesome. This one, about security guards in a Manhattan apartment complex, should be no exception. It's written by Kenneth Lonergan, who wrote the brilliant film You Can Count on Me, and stars Scott Coopwood and Neal Starbird. Artists Repertory Theatre, at the IFCC, 5340 N Interstate, 241-1278, Tues-Sat 8 pm, Sun 2 & 7 pm, through May 30, $15-30

Tino Does Time
An interesting-sounding play set in 1972 Los Angeles, and centered around a troubled brother/sister pairing. One day a cop comes and arrests the brother and falls in love with his sister. Bummer. The Miracle Theater, 525 SE Stark Street, 242-1047, Thurs 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat 8 pm, through May 1, $14-17

When Babes Attack
An original play by Jesse E. Migneault in which the president's advisors apparently recruit children to fight a war. Yes, it's satirical. Could be cool, though; Migneault has done comedy writing for MTV, VH-1, and Comedy Central. The Know, 2026 NE Alberta, 282-2019, Thurs-Sat 8 pm, Sun 6 pm, through May 2, $12


* The Late Night Mysterious Actors Late Night Talk Show
Portland's most bizarre talk show host, The Famous Mysterious Actor, has found a home at the Ash Street Saloon. Tonight see him "interview" local rock venue owner Jason Sabala. Ash St. , 225 SW Ash St, 226-0430, Thurs 9 pm

Who's Who
The Brody presents a new improv format they learned while performing in Berlin that involves true personal stories and artwork. Brody Theater, 1904 NW 27th Ave, 224-0688, Fri-Sat 8 pm, through May 22, $10


* The Jefferson Dancers
Some of the most exciting dancers in town are barely past puberty. Check out this high school company this time around, as they perform works by Sarah Slipper. Newmark Theater, Portland Center for the Performing Arts, SW Broadway & Main, 224-8499, April 28-May 1, $11.50-20