Opening This Week

Aliens Stole Bush's Brain
Radiant Theatre presents this work by Douglas Watson, "A hilarious mock symposium of satirical monologues reflecting upon whether or not Bush exists." Liberty Hall, 311 N Ivy, 502-8261, Fri-Sat 8 pm, Sun 2 pm, through March 5, $5-20

Rapture
Newish Professional company Stumptown Stages presents its second production, Jeanne Marshall's Inquisition-set period piece, Rapture. Theater! Theatre!, 3430 SE Belmont, 381-8686, Fri-Sat 8 pm, $22

One Week Only

Clowns Without Borders
Clowns are scary to us, but they can also make a difference in the world, as with the group Clowns Without Borders, a group of vaudevillian performers who use laughter to relieve suffering in places like refugee camps and war zones. Tonight's event benefits the Portland chapter of CWB, and features tap-master Shoehorn, the Nomadic Theatre Co., and many more. Winningstad Theater, PCPA Building, 1111 SW Broadway, 248-0557, Sat 7:30 pm, $20

In the Land of the Grasshopper Song
It's hard to go wrong with the hilarious Dell'Arte Company, who present this play, with help from the Insight Out Collective, about two white women trying to make it as "field matrons" for the Karuk Indian Tribe in 1908. West End Theater, 1220 SW Taylor, 715-0974, 7:30 pm, March 1-2, $7-12

The Kite Runner
Multnomah Library's 4th annual Everybody Reads event culminates this Wednesday with a free performance of a one-man play based on The Kite Runner, performed by acclaimed actor Arian Moayed. First Congregational Church, 1126 SW Park, 228-4651, 11 am and 7 pm March 1, FREE

Closing This Week

Men on the Verge 2
Miracle Theatre's current production of Men on the Verge 2 is first and foremost a showcase for the prodigious talents of Andres Alcalá. The play is comprised of 13 short scenes about gay Hispanic men, and Alcalá plays every role: from a repressed Catholic atoning for a night of three-way sex to a Chilean restaurant owner whose lover has just been killed in the 9/11 bombings. Alcalá's virtuoso performance ranges from hilarious to heartbreaking as he explores, with cat-like agility, the peaks and valleys of Guillermo Reyes' somewhat bipolar script. AH The Miracle Theatre, 525 SE Stark, 258-1681, Thurs 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat 8 pm, ends Feb 25, $16-20

The Seagull
Chalk up yet another success for ART with their current production of The Seagull. Joseph Fisher's adaptation of Chekhov's classic is compelling and clear, accentuating the humor of the work without sacrificing a bit of emotional depth. AH Artists Repertory Theatre, 1516 SW Alder, 241-1278, Tues-Thurs 7 pm, Fri-Sat 8 pm, Sun 2 pm, 7 pm, ends Feb 26, $15-40

Current Runs

The Laramie Project
Director Beth Harper and her Conservatory students present Moises Kaufman's Laramie Project, culled from real interviews surrounding the murder of Matthew Shepard. Portland Actors Conservatory, 1436 SW Montgomery St, 274-1717, Thurs 7 pm, Fri-Sat 8 pm, Sun 2 pm, $12-20

The Real Inspector Hound
Stoppard's The Real Inspector Hound is a convoluted look at the detective story genre that blurs the line between spectator and participant. Two theater critics have gone to review a murder mystery—but as they wait for the show to start, it becomes clear that they have their agendas. The tweedy Moon (played hilariously by John Steinkamp) is obsessed with becoming the number one critic at his newspaper, while pompous Birdboot is intent on writing a good review of the young actress he's sleeping with. The meta implications of writing about a play that's about someone writing about a play make my head hurt, so I'll just say that at the end of the night, CoHo turns in a tight, engaging production of a truly delightful play. AH Stark Raving, at the Coho Theatre, 2257 NW Raleigh, 220-COHO, Thurs-Sat 8 pm, Sun 2 pm, $19-22

Dance

Grupo Corpo
Oh hell yeah! White Bird presents the sexiest group of dancers you'll see all year: Brazil's Grupo Corpo, which combines "the rigor of classical ballet, the free inventiveness of modern dance and the sinuous complexity of Afro-Brazilian movement." Or, to put it in a language you can understand: S-E-X-Y! Schnitzer Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 790-2787, 7:30 pm Feb 8, $19-43

Arms or Legs
Mike Barber's always-festive Ten Tiny Dances will turn three years old in March; celebrate early with a fundraiser at Crush, wherein local dancers like Tracy Broyles and Tere Mathern will perform on a tiny 3 x 3 foot stage whilst you party your face off. Crush, 1412 SE Morrison, 235-8150, Sun 7 pm, $10-100

Support The Portland Mercury

Winter Program
Oregon Ballet Theatre warms up this brokenhearted month with an eclectic tripod of an evening: The world premiere of Trey McIntyre's Just, as well as Balanchine's Gershwin tribute Who Cares, and OBT artistic director Christopher Stowell's "sassy" piece, Quick Time. Keller Auditorium, 222 SW Clay, 222-5538, 7:30 pm Feb 24-25, $8-96

Comedy/Improv

Juan's Dog
See My, What A Busy Week, on page 15. Coho Theatre, 2257 NW Raleigh, 220-COHO, Wed 8 pm, ends March 1, $7

Sponsored
SLAY Film Fest
In person at the Clinton St. Theater 10/29 & 10/30