It's here—the last week before Christmas! The last gasp of relative sanity before holiday madness crescendoes. What better way to spend it than by sharing a Happy Hole-aday with Dan Savage? Or Cheering the Fuck Up with the OK Chorale? Well, there's also the Mercury's latest (free!) Sound + Vision showcase, the Blazers taking on the Spurs, and a ramshackle trip to space and back (barely) via the Hollywood Theatre. It's a full week of pre-Christmas amazingness; hit the links below and load your plate accordingly.

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Monday, Dec 18

Pedro the Lion, Advance Base
Pedro the Lion only released four albums, but boy did people connect with them deeply: sad kids (and adults) who didn’t dig the aggression of emo. Folks with a taste for melancholy melodies. Pacific Northwest indie scenesters. Christians looking for an alternative to mainstream Christian music. Fans of top-shelf storytelling. From 1995 to 2006, David Bazan was the creative force behind this faith-curious indie-rock band, by all accounts a modestly successful venture with a passionate, medium-sized fan base. But since Bazan shuttered the project to focus on his solo work, interest in Pedro the Lion has grown, and now a whole bunch of people are stoked for reunion shows and new recordings. That’s why the band’s three-night Portland stand is totally sold out. BEN SALMON
8 pm, Mississippi Studios $20 good luck on those ticket resale sites, pal!

Bark it Out: A Comedy Benefit for Animal Aid
Does your cuddly cat come up in every single conversation? At Bark It Out, a pet-centric comedy and storytelling event, you’ll finally fit right in! Gear up for an evening of laughs in support of fuzzy friends and the invaluable work of no-kill rescue, Animal Aid PDX. EMILLY PRADO
7:30 pm, Siren Theater, $10

Lindsey Stirling
The electronic violinist brings her eclectic blend of classical, pop, rock, electronic dance music to the Schnitz for the Portland stop on her "Warmer in the Winter Christmas Tour."
8 pm, Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, $29.50-69.50

Sama Dams, Operator Music Band, Months
Portland experimental trio Sama Dams explores some exciting musical territory, evolving from the band's math-y origins, infusing polyrhythmic grooves beneath Sam Adams' fragile, soaring croon. RYAN J. PRADO
9 pm, The Liquor Store, $7

Solaris
If you've never committed to all three hours of Andrei Tarkovsky's 1972 arthouse sci-fi film Solaris, here's your chance—the NW Film Center is screening a new restoration, and the doors will be locked so you cannot escape. (I assume.) Your enjoyment of Solaris will depend on how much patience you have for melancholy meditation; this patient adaptation of Stanislaw Lem's novel finds a psychologist investigating Solaris, a weird planet that may or may not be bringing his dead wife back to life. It's mostly worth seeing—and it's worth following up with 2002's Solaris, an all-but-forgotten oddity from Steven Soderbergh and James Cameron that swapped in George Clooney and cut the running time in half. Don't tell any film snobs, but I prefer the Soderbergh one. That either means I'm a philistine, or that George Clooney is just that dreamy. ERIK HENRIKSEN
7 pm, NW Film Center's Whitsell Auditorium, $5-9

The Grotto's Christmas Festival of Lights
The Grotto's annual Festival of Lights celebration returns for its 30th year, transforming the serene grounds into one of the largest Christmas choral festival in the world. Walk a one-quarter mile long light trail, enjoy outdoor caroling, puppet shows, and a live petting zoo, and then take in one of over 170 concerts taking place in the Grotto's chapel.
5 pm, The Grotto, $6-11, all ages

Tuesday, Dec 19

Sound + Vision
This month’s free, Mercury-sponsored Sound + Vision show features sets from two sickeningly talented Portland-based artists who also happen to be women. There’s pop musician Frankie Simone, a queer Puerto Rican powerhouse who’ll be flanked by her two backup dancers, and multi-instrumentalist Cristina Cano who performs her aqua-tinged electro-pop under the moniker Siren and the Sea. From what I can tell, this lineup might have enough sunny vibes to melt your icy winter heart. JENNI MOORE
9 pm, Mississippi Studios, free

Xavier OmÀr
The up-and-coming singer/songwriter out of San Antonio brings his experimental R&B and soul sounds to the Star Theater stage for the Portland stop on his "Pink Lightning" tour.
9 pm, Star Theater, $15

Rivercity Podcast Federation: Live Podcast Double Feature
Portland's very own podcasting network, the Rivercity Podcast Federation, presents a double feature live taping. On the agenda for tonight: A special edition episode of Chumba and Wumba, featuring the comedic conversational skills of Adam Pasi and Alex Rios, with special guest Amanda Arnold. Following that is Afternoonified hosted by Emily Coleman and Ryan Hagerty, with guests Caitlin Weierhauser and Mohanad Elshieky digging into the convergence of science, mythology, and the paranormal.
8 pm, Alberta Street Pub, free

Evanescence
When I was in fourth grade, my teacher assigned a research project on Arkansas. The most important fact I learned was that the state capitol is Little Rock, where Evanescence formed in 1995. Since then, the band’s lineup has changed frequently, but singer/pianist Amy Lee remains. Her intense, moody voice and lyrics set Evanescence apart from other goth-rock bands. You might remember the radio hit “Bring Me to Life,” a song I still find terrifying, perhaps due to the tinkling horror movie piano intro. Evanescence will play the Schnitz with a full orchestra Tuesday night, which seems like an appropriate venue, considering Lee always reminded me of the opera-singing alien from The Fifth Element. ISABEL LYNDON
8 pm, Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, $48-78, all ages

Liberation Literacy Fundraiser and Screening
Every week Liberation Literacy meets inside of Columbia River Correctional Institution to lead a reading and discussing group centered around African diaspora and social justice. They also offer prisoners nearly 500 books through their Freedom Library. Support their work by watching the gripping documentary, Whose Streets? at this week’s installment of the Clinton Street Resistance Series. EMILLY PRADO
7 pm, Clinton Street Theater, $5-10

It's a Tony Starlight Christmas!
If you like your holiday swinging with a dose of cocktails, check out It's a Tony Starlight Christmas, in which Portland's fave crooner is joined by a rat pack of talented singers to perform classic holiday hits (and comedy) in the style of Frank, Dino, Liza, Bing, and more.
8 pm, The Tony Starlight Showroom, $30-75

The Shape of Water
Guillermo del Toro's latest is strange, sweet, and wonderful, and easily the greatest film ever made about a mute cleaning lady who falls in love with an amphibious fish man. ERIK HENRIKSENAlso see "Guillermo del Toro Discusses the Tragedy and Delight of The Shape of Water," Film, Dec 13.
Various Theaters, see Movie Times for showtimes and locations

Foxy Lemon, Camp Crush, The Get Ahead
Foxy Lemon bring their organ-fueled classic rock and garage down to the Doug Fir Lounge to help benefit Portland Homeless Family Solutions. Local new wave outfit Camp Crush provide support, with soulful R&B rockers the Get Ahead kicking things off.
9 pm, Doug Fir, $10-14

Hanukkah-ish Supper & Benefit Dinner
Enjoy a mouthwatering Hannukah-ish farm dinner with desserts, local beers, and raffle prizes in support of the arts. Ori Gallery, the recipient of this fundraiser, will focus on amplifying trans, queer, and POC artists and opens in North Portland in February 2018! EMILLY PRADO
6 pm, Handsome Pizza, $45-55

Wednesday, Dec 20

Cheer the Fuck Up: AN OK Chorale Holiday Pop Songs Sing-Along
The OK Chorale started from a need to mourn. David Bowie had just died, and a couple local creative types realized that what Portland really needed was to get down to OMSI and sing some Bowie. Together. Now they bring their “drop-in community pop chorus” all around town. Tonight, you’re headed to Mississippi to have some drinks and belt out pop holiday tunes with your newest pals. DIRK VANDERHART
7:30 pm, Mississippi Studios, $22-25

Portland Trail Blazers vs. San Antonio Spurs
Spurs small forward Kawhi Leonard, one of the league’s best players, is finally back from an injury that kept him out of the first part of the season, so this should be a fun game to check out. San Antonio has the third best record in the Western Conference and the Blazers have been struggling as of late—a win here could be important when the playoff race heats up in the spring, so be loud and root them on. Also, there’s not much else going on this week, event-wise, so why the hell wouldn’t you go? You can binge Netflix tomorrow. 
7 pm, Moda Center, $18-556, all ages

Christmas in Space
It's become the Hollywood's gift to the city, this annual slew of freaky-ass, nostalgic sci-fi Christmas junk: The utterly execrable Star Wars Holiday Special, vintage toy commercials, and more—all preceded by Rowan Atkinson's Black Adder on the big screen, eviscerating Charles Dickens in all his snarling, silly glory.
9:30 pm, Hollywood Theatre, $7-9

Cool Kids Deluxe Show
Andie Main's Cool Kids Patio Show returns for a deluxe winter installment down in the cozy Doug Fir Lounge, with stand-up from Shain Brenden, Anthony Lopez, Becky Braunstein, and Caitlin Weierhauser, along with live music by Dreckig and Wave Action.
8:30 pm, Doug Fir, $10-12

Weeed, Aan, Night Heron
Hailing from 4/20-friendly Washington state, Weeed is a stoner rock band for people who lover stoner rock. They’re jammers without borders, and aren’t subtle about their sources of musical inspiration (the closing track on 2015’s Our Guru Brings Us to the Black Master Sabbath is a 15-minute opus called “Nature’s Green Magic”). In a live setting, the group’s energy—which is largely driven by a pair of synchronized drummers—is incendiary, and their unabashed rocking is a sight to behold. EMMA BURKE
9:30 pm, Bunk Bar, $10-12

Reading the Bible with Dan
Comedian Dan Weber and a slew of his funny friends bring his bible-reading podcast to life on the Helium stage.
8 pm, Helium Comedy Club, $12

Thursday, Dec 21

Kwanzaa: Unity in the Community
For those interested in celebrating Kwanzaa this year, Nikki Brown Clown—Portland’s pioneering Black woman clown—presents a Unity in the Community event where participants can come to learn about the basic principals and colors of Kwanzaa through movement and music. Chata Addy, the amazing “Music Man” drummer/dancer from Ghana, will play, and Nikki Brown Clown will educate attendees of all ages via storybooks, magic and music. There will also be prizes, refreshments, arts and crafts, and a marketplace featuring products from local Black-owned businesses. JENNI MOORE
10 am, Matt Dishman Community Center & Pool, free

Savage Lovecast Presents: Happy Hole-adays
Here’s your opportunity to see one of America’s top-rated podcasts and top-rated sex advice smarty-pants on the same stage! It’s Dan Savage’s Happy Hole-Adays, a live podcast taping with tons of holiday-inspired comedy (with segments such as “Santa’s Paindeer,” “Toys for Tits,” “A Gay in a Manger,” and “The Little Hummer Boy”) as well as terrific guests such as Portland’s funniest person Caitlin Weierhauser, and New Orleans’ singer/songwriter Carsie Blanton. Make sure your “hole-aday” is stuffed with fun this year! WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY
8 pm, Revolution Hall, $35

Mama Bird's Winter Wassail: Nick Delffs, Haley Heynderickx, Matt Dorrien
Local label Mama Bird Recording Co. takes over Mississippi Studios for a special holiday showcase featuring performances from three of their most esteemed artists and a few special guests.
9 pm, Mississippi Studios, $10

Matt Brown & Friends
The Nashville-via-Portland singer-songwriter signed to Rock Ridge Music returns to his former hometown for a special holiday homecoming show featuring support from a few of his friends.
8 pm, Alberta Rose Theatre, $12-15

A Liberace & Liza Christmas
A variety show-styled concert based on the life, the sounds, and the aura of '70s glitz heavyweights Liberace and Liza Minnelli, as performed by local (spot-on) impersonators David Saffert and Jillian Snow Harris, with special celebrity guests, sing-a-longs, and more.
7:30 pm, CoHo Theater, $20

Youssoupha Sidibe
Dancing is definitely encouraged at a Youssoupha Sidibe show, not that you'll need the encouragement as the man's Kora playing and insistent rhythms make it pretty impossible to stand still.
8 pm, The Hallowed Halls, $20

Call Me By Your Name
You know that animated .gif you keep seeing around the internet? The one of Armie Hammer in a polo shirt dancing like a jackass, but an extremely sexy jackass you can't help but have... feelings about? Well that .gif comes from this movie, and there's a lot more Armie where that came from. Oh, and it's also apparently an amazing film on top of that. But even if it weren't? Dancing Armie Hammer!
Various Theaters, See Movie Times for showtimes and locations

Lit for the Holidays
A holiday party from your friends at Green Luck Media, with performances from local emcees Swiggle Mandela, Lenny Packz, Jay Are, CEG, and Keegan Baurer. Shrista Tyree hosts.
9 pm, Kelly's Olympian, free w/ clothing donation

Don't forget to check out our Things To Do calendar for even more things to do!