Eagles Lodge Grand Re-Opening
The East Portland Eagles Lodge has emerged triumphant from a battle with the Fraternal Order of Eagles, who’d hoped to sell the Hawthorne District building that’s housed the local chapter for over half a century. They’re hosting an all-ages “Survival Party” to celebrate the Eagles Lodge’s grand reopening, with entertainment courtesy of Karaoke from Hell. It’s a prime opportunity to jump onstage with the original live karaoke band—they’ve been backing guest belters around Portland for more than 25 years, and know hundreds of songs, including some on-theme choices like Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive,” Queen’s “We Are the Champions,” and even the Misfits’ “Where Eagles Dare” (but please, god, don’t sing that one in front of the children). CIARA DOLAN
Jan 13, 7:30 pm, Eagles Lodge (F.O.E.#3256), $5

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Portland Metro Reptile Expo
Am I recommending that you get stoned and go to the Portland Metro Reptile Expo at the Holiday Inn on Northeast Columbia? Well, since doing so seems morally and legally dubious, let's say I'm not? But I'm not not recommending it! Boasting “over 17,000 feet of pure REPTILIAN EXCITEMENT,” the expo promises “a huge selection of live reptiles and amphibians,” many of which are FOR SALE, one of which is a SEVEN-FOOT AMERICAN ALIGATOR, and all of which will send horrifying chills down your pathetic and frail mammalian spine. From creepy snakes to rare pythons, this is the spot to go to stare into the cold, unblinking eyes of the alien creatures who ruled this planet before time began, and who will outlast us all. They are secure in their dominion, and they would kill you in a goddamn second if only given a chance. ERIK HENRIKSEN
Jan 13, 10 am, Holiday Inn Airport, $10

Black Belt Eagle Scout, Nsayi Matingou
Last year Katherine Paul of Black Belt Eagle Scout quietly released her debut LP, Mother of My Children, via Portland’s Good Cheer Records. Paul—who plays every instrument on the album herself—lets her inspirations shine on hypnotic tunes like “Indians Never Die” and the brilliantly restrained title-track. Former Ghost Ease drummer Nsayi Matingou opens, so be sure to arrive promptly. Is it too cold out to chug a frosty iceberg? You decide. RYAN J. PRADO
Jan 12, 9:30 pm, Bunk Bar, $10

The Prince & Michael Experience
Dave Paul dedicates the dance floor to the everlasting magic that both Prince and Michael Jackson created over the course of their careers, including not just the hits, but the b-sides, the bootlegs, and the remixes, too.
Jan 13, 9 pm, The Liquor Store, $10

Improv Giants
A one-night only massive attack of Portland improv comedy all-stars, including Shelley McLendon, Nicholas Kessler, Chris Williams, Kara Moore, and Dylan Reiff.
Jan 12, 8 pm, Siren Theater, $10

Surfer Rosie, Tender Age, Fantastic Plastic, Realized
Surfer Rosie’s debut EP helped counteract the feelings of anxiety that seemed to wash over us all last year. Some moments are loud and cathartic, with fuzzed-out riffs cutting through atmospheric noise with frantic energy. But these settle into quiet and contemplative valleys, only to rev back up again for acute sonic whiplash. Surfer Rosie’s music captures the kind of hope that’s perfect to soundtrack the beginning of a new year. DELANEY MOTTER
Jan 12, 8 pm, Clinton Street Theater, $9

1939 Ensemble, Golden Retriever
The Portland-based instrumental quartet known for playing a blend of percussion-driven krautrock, post-rock, and jazz celebrate the release of their latest EP, Beats & Saints. Acclaimed experimental duo Golden Retriever provide support.
Jan 12, 9 pm, Mississippi Studios, $8

Kinski, Havania Whaal, Galaxy Research
Seattle’s Kinski can’t stop making records. Since forming in 1998, they’ve released their prolific catalogue on seminal Pacific Northwest labels like Sub Pop and Kill Rock Stars, most recently 2015’s 7 (or 8). Throughout this nearly two-decade tenure, Kinski has remained loud but listenable with feedback-heavy, droning garage rock. Get ready—the band’s gravely guitar riffs and piercing solos demand head-banging. BRI BREY
Jan 13, 9 pm, Kelly's Olympian, $8

Gold Casio, Small Skies, DMN
Portland’s Gold Casio melds campy, gold-plated disco with glitchy indie-pop, and the result is groovy and danceable—you can’t avoid this boogie fever, so might as well let it infect you. CIARA DOLAN
Jan 13, 9 pm, The Fixin' To, $7

Rare Diagram, The Crenshaw, Ally, Paula
Rare Diagram utilizes unique textures of instrumentation to coax jazz phrasings and sophisticated symphonic flourishes out of pop songs. RYAN J. PRADO
Jan 12, 8 pm, Turn! Turn! Turn!, $5

Don't forget to check out our Things To Do calendar for even more things to do!