The Portland Women's Expo 2018
Billed as "Oregon's #1 Consumer Showcase for Women," the Expo is also taking on the responsibility of being Portland's "biggest St. Patty's Day party," which should shock the city's myriad drinking establishments who pride themselves on their high quality Amateur Hour shenanigans. The 2018 edition of the Women's Expo features over 400 exhibitors offering food, wine, demonstrations, and discussions on topics including life-improvement, home-improvement, financial planning, legal advice, and more.
10am, Oregon Convention Center, $6-12, all ages


Giants in the Trees, The Mutineers, Mishka Shubaly, Michael Dean Damron
Kris Novoselic's latest band, Giants in the Trees, bring their blend of Pacific Northwest-rooted pop and indie rock down to Dante's.
9 pm, Dante's, $12

Hibou, Charts
The main man behind Hibou, Peter Michel, has been part of the indie pop world for all of his adult life. He joined Craft Spells as a drummer when he was 17, and left that band a couple years later to retreat to his bedroom and record his self-titled debut. Released by Barsuk Records in late 2015, Hibou is a late-summery swirl of jangling guitars, sighed vocals, and bleary melancholy, topped off with a touch of new wave electro-vibe. Earlier this month, Barsuk released the second Hibou full-length, Something Familiar, and those new wave vibes have blossomed into heavier, noisier songs, with roots in Michel’s struggles with anxiety. That means crunchier guitars, darker lyrics, and more synth. But don’t worry, indie pop darlings, these new sounds still dance around Hibou’s basic elements: shimmering guitars and catchy melodies. BEN SALMON
9:30 pm, Bunk Bar, $12

Brian Regan
An evening of stand-up with the renowned "comedian's comedian" known for his observational, sarcastic, and self-deprecating style, his animated stage presence, and his ability to appeal to a broad range of age groups and audiences.
8 pm, Keller Auditorium, $39.50-65, all ages


ROBOT REVOLUTION
Very soon, a robot or an AI will replace you—chances are, there's already one that can do your job faster, cheaper, and better than you, because all you are is a sweaty skin-bag of rotting meat. From there, it's only a computer-controlled nuke or two until relentless terminators and conniving AIs reduce Earth to a sunless hellscape where malnourished humans huddle in subterranean caverns while cold, calculating AIs use kill-bots to brutally exterminate humanity.

This weekend, OMSI's Robot Revolution will give our doomed race “extraordinary opportunities to meet and interact” with the robots that will inevitably annihilate all that we hold dear. Robots like....

• Rice University's r-one Swarm Robots, which work together like “swarms of insects” to slaughter humans
• Baxter, a “smart, collaborative robot” that can beat you at tic-tac-toe before beating you into a puddle of blood and bone
• Dr. Takanori Shibata's PARO®, a “therapeutic harp seal robot” that lulls humans into a state of calm before eating their face
• Korea's ROBOTIS-OP, which “uses face-tracking software to sense when a human is looking at it, and can align its gaze with that of a guest's,” ensuring the last thing you see will be the soulless void of a superior intelligence
• CHARLI, a “humanoid robot” that can “walk,” “turn,” and “kick” the life out of you
• Japan's MURATA BOY and MURATA GIRL, which “can ride a bike very slowly” and follow you home to learn where you live
• THES, a robot “equipped to work its way through pipes” to find chemical leaks and kill you while you sit on the toilet
• The University of Pennsylvania's RHex, which uses “springy legs” to “sprint across flat ground, fling itself up curbs, and leap over gaps,” ensuring there is literally nowhere you can hide
• Zhejiang University's Soccer Robots! They play soccer! Neat!

Go to OMSI, my fellow humans. Have fun. Learn. But you already know the most important lesson: The coming war is not one that humans can win. ERIK HENRIKSEN
9:30 am, Oregon Museum of Science and Industry, $13.50-19.75, all ages


Carl Palmer's ELP Legacy
Legendary English drummer Carl Palmer brings the songs of Emerson, Lake & Palmer to life on the Aladdin Theater stage for the Portland stop on a touring honoring the legacy of the progressive rock supergroup.
8 pm, Aladdin Theater, $39.50-42, all ages

Irish Beer Festival
The latest hops-infused installment of a new St. Patrick's Day tradition in Portland, the Irish Beer Festival features specialty Irish style beers and ciders from Northwest breweries and cideries including Ninkasi, Migration, Sunriver, Widmer, Cider Riot!, Coalition, and more; admission includes souvenir glass, seven taster tokens, live music, entertainment, and food specials.
11 am, Kells Brewery, $10-20

Rasheed Jamal, Dead Sonics, Bocha, Sus
Portland artists Rasheed Jamal and Bocha join forces with Seattle's Sus and Dead Sonics to spearhead this intimate Pacific NW hip-hop showcase in the Atlantis Lounge.
9 pm, Mississippi Pizza Pub & Atlantis Lounge, $8

Geezer, Zombabes
For St. Patrick's Day the Fixin' To pays tribute to a pair of the '90s biggest bands, Weezer and the Cranberries, with members of Summer Cannibals, Rare Monk, Mini Blinds, Lubec, and other local all-stars coming together to bring classic alt-rock favorites to (probably slightly sloshed) new life.
9 pm, The Fixin' To, $7

Bend It Like Beckham
This surprise hit from 2002 wasn't in American theaters for very long; most people discovered the film on DVD So it's definitely worth catching this 35mm screening of the charming romcom/drama/sports/family film about a teenage girl whose skill at football causes trouble in her strict Punjabi Sikh household. Part of the Hollywood Theatre's Feminist March film series.
1 pm, Hollywood Theatre, $7-9, all ages

Daydream Machine, Shadowlands, Young Elders
The Doug Fir presents a smattering of Pacific NW dark wave, psych, and shoegaze, with local post-punk act Shadowlands celebrating the release of their brand new full-length.
8 pm, Doug Fir, $10-12

Barfly's 18th Annual St. Patrick's Day Bus Tour
Jen Lane's Barfly Bus will spirit you to a number of bars all over town so as to properly sample the alcoholic bounty available as Portland celebrates St. Patrick's.
7 pm, Various Locations, $25-30

Don't forget to check out our Things To Do calendar for even more things to do!