March for Our Lives
Like the #Enough in-school walkouts last week, student organizers across the nation are rallying to march against gun violence in their communities. The protest will leave from the Park Blocks by 10:30 and will end at Pioneer Courthouse Square by noon for a performance by Grammy-winning rock band, Portugal. The Man. EMILLY PRADO
10 am, North Park Blocks


Trevor Noah
When a perma-sneering charlatan who maybe can’t read has desecrated the White House, we look to heroes like The Daily Show’s Trevor Noah to get us through each and every so-sad-it’s-almost-funny news cycle. Noah’s sharp political commentary (like when he compared Trump to dictators like Idi Amin) has won my heart, and, okay, so have his dimples. Don’t miss him when he brings his signature blend of truth serum to town. MEGAN BURBANK
8 pm, Theater of the Clouds, $39-75

Portland Thorns Season Opener
This afternoon, Portland’s most decorated professional sports team opens up their 2018 NWSL title-defending campaign with a nationally televised match against last year’s Shield winners and league runners-up, the North Carolina Courage. We won’t get to see the team in action here at home until April 15, but Portland’s bid for a record-setting third NWSL title will be worth tuning into Lifetime from the start. While longtime Thorns’ fixture Allie Long has departed for Seattle, and international stars Amandine Henry and Nadia Nadim will be playing in France and England respectively, this team still has plenty of explosive firepower and veteran presence in its ranks. With Canadian legend Christine Sinclair leading the attack, Brazilian playmaker Andressinha joining up with Lindsey Horan in the midfield ranks, and defensive stalwarts Emily Sonnett, Meghan Klingenberg, and Emily Menges leading the back line ahead of 2018 NWSL Goalkeeper of the Year Adrianna Franch, the Thorns will once again be the best ticket in town for catching world class talent right here in our own backyard. CHIPP TERWILLIGER
Watch it on Lifetime at a sports bar or in the comfort of your own home!

Titus Andronicus, Rick Maguire
Listening to A Productive Cough
, Titus Andronicus’ brand-new record, it's hard not to be impressed by the scope of their stylistic ambition, which forces the listener to view Americana through a scratched kaleidoscope. Earnest cantankerousness underscores each successive mini-opera touching on a bevy of influences, both urban and rural, in an attempt to validate the artistic quality of their New Jersey home. Singer Patrick Stickles projects his tattered odes with the aplomb of an enraptured punk troubadour while musically conjuring the Pogues’ audacious rootsiness, the Replacements’ frayed edges, and Neutral Milk Hotel's pastoral whimsy to poetically contrast the stadium-sized emotional bombast that’s endeared them to a well-earned cadre of fanatics. The countless hours of sweat-drenched performances and personal maturity have embedded themselves into these recordings, and anyone who's already been enjoying the band’s raw soliloquies will definitely appreciate this new chapter. CHRIS SUTTON
9 pm, Mississippi Studios, $15

Portland Farmhouse & Wild Ale Festival
The return of Saraveza's annual brewfest dedicated to shining a spotlight on the Northwest's finest wild and rustic ales in styles from France and Belgium, with participating breweries including The Commons, Upright, Alesong, pFriem, De Garde and many more. Admission includes collectible glass and 10 drink tickets.
11 am, Saraveza, $25

LA Noche Latin Party
Star Theater hosts another installment of this Latin dance party, with DJ CJ and DJ Blas spinning the best Latin hits of the '80s, '90s, and 2000s.
9 pm, Star Theater, $12

Drowse, Tender Age, Floating Room, Dragging an Ox Through Water
Though Kyle Bates recorded Cold Air—his newest album under the Drowse moniker—at home, its 12 shoegazey tracks sound like they were born surrounded by monolithic glaciers in some remote arctic landscape. Beneath the lo-fi fog of Mount Eerie-style production, Bates recounts his experiences with dissociating from reality, breaking down, and finding relief in medication. It’s heavy, beautiful music. CIARA DOLAN
8 pm, The Know, $6

Videodrome
While David Cronenberg's cult classic Videodrome is still as powerfully queasy and uncomfortable as it was in 1983, time has made the film's prophetic commentary on our media-addicted culture feel a little quaint. Sure, the broad strokes are still cutting, and with professional shitheel James Woods leaving a sticky film on basically everything he touches (a role he took off the set and into real life, if his Twitter feed is to be believed), the correlation between entertainment industry and drug cartel is crystal clear. But Cronenberg—possibly at his most cynically imaginative in Videodrome—never saw the internet coming. Hearing greasy fictional '80s executives talk about hundreds of TV channels in ominous tones doesn't play as strongly in a reality where someone's unattended six-year-old just livestreamed an eighth straight hour of PewDiePie into their head for the day. Long live the new flesh, indeed. BOBBY ROBERTS
9:30 pm, NW Film Center's Whitsell Auditorium

Starcrawler, Uni
Starcrawler is the latest band to come along that’s supposedly going to save rock ’n’ roll. The LA quartet—some of whom are still teenagers—is fronted by Arrow de Wilde, whose live persona is already famously wild and theatrical, like some unholy offspring of Ozzy Osbourne’s blood-soaked teeth and Iggy Pop’s shirt-optional swagger. Her band excels at fuzzed-out, scuzzed-up, gutter-dwelling rock ’n’ roll—sometimes punky, sometimes grungy, sometimes bluesy, and sometimes all the above. And Starcrawler’s self-titled debut—produced by Ryan Adams and released earlier this year on Rough Trade Records—is not perfect, but it most definitely is a sweaty, sore-necked, streaked-makeup, blown-speakers good time. (This band is going to scorch all the pork belly at Bunk Bar.) Will Starcrawler save rock ’n’ roll? Who knows. We’ve pinned our hopes on worse, that’s for sure. BEN SALMON
9:30 pm, Bunk Bar, $12-14

Hamilton
You ever see the musical Paint Your Wagon? It’s the lively tale of a gold-rush town that plunges into iniquity and vice. Clint Eastwood and the great Lee Marvin played the leads in the feature film. Lots of historical accuracies in that thing. I only mention it because, when your dreams of getting a ticket to the smash hit musical Hamilton are inevitably dashed to pieces, you’ll need something to watch. DIRK VANDERHART
2 pm & 7:30 pm, Keller Auditorium, $80-500, Try your shot at the $10 Ham4Ham lottery!

TOAST
Sure, you like booze, but how sophisticated is your knowledge of it? At the Oregon Distillers Guild’s TOAST, you’ll get to taste over 120 spirits from around the world, getting tipsy and learning about new innovations in hooch, for a not-bad-at-all price.
5 pm, Tiffany Center, $15-65

Blowpony 11 Year Anniversary
Portland's monthly queer-centric dance extravaganza celebrates its 11th anniversary with a special March installment featuring headlining performances from RuPaul's Drag Race season 3 winner Raja, Vancouver, BC-hailing drag troupe Man Up, and local favorites Nae Nae Dominatrix and Miss Inanna, along with music from DJs Airick X, Just Dave, Matt Consola, and Mateo Segade, and enough go-go dancing to keep the club rocking all night long.
9 pm, Bossanova Ballroom, $13-15

The Golden Girls: Live
A drag send up of the iconic sitcom, with RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 9 winner Sasha Velour and a talented cast of San Francisco-hailing drag comic performers acting out two episodes of the show.
7 pm, & 10 pm, Aladdin Theater, $30-60

Bricks Cascade
It's a LEGO convention! There's gonna be a ton of those things. Lego everywhere! For the love of God, do not be barefoot anywhere near this thing.
Mar 24-25, 10 am, Oregon Convention Center, $11, all ages

Don't forget to check out our Things To Do calendar for even more things to do!