Originally a product of Chicago’s comedy scene, LA writer and stand-up Beth Stelling has honed her ability to disarm audiences with her laid-back delivery and trounce them with her unpredictable wit for the better part of a decade. Her expertly crafted half-hour special is a highlight of Netflix’s The Standups, and that’s just a small taste of what Stelling will have up her sleeve when she hits the Star Theater stage tonight. CHIPP TERWILLIGER
8 pm, Star Theater, $18
Bill Nye (the Science Guy), a staple of ’90s public television, has used his Millennial recognition for good. Instead of tragically fading into obscurity, Nye has kept his now-adult fan base engaged with approachable lectures and New York Times editorials. His Portland visit comes with its own unique tie-in: It coincides with the 38th anniversary of the Mount St. Helens eruption. Nye will explain the environmental fallout of that explosive day, answer audience questions, and kindly remind you that climate change is real. Bill! Bill! Bill! ALEX ZIELINSKI
7:30 pm, Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, $40-60
McMenamins' Annual UFO Festival
Downtown McMinnville gets taken over by the 19th Annual UFO Fest, which features music, booze, an “alien pet costume contest,” the “Alien Abduction Dash 5K," and panels about everything from a 1994 incident in which “60 schoolchildren saw a UFO land and beings approach," to government’s stance on “the modern UFO problem,” to trusty old standbys like “mutilated cattle." Don’t miss the UFO Speakers Panel, a mega-panel that lines up a slew of the fest's guests for a Q&A that will likely cover conspiracy theories, creepy aliens, nice aliens, skin walkers, Sasquatch, and the incontrovertible fact that humans will soon be conquered and enslaved by creatures we cannot comprehend. Might as well drink some beer and wear some tinfoil hats in the meantime! (In case you think I am joking, I am not: Some people here will be wearing tinfoil hats. If you’re smart, so will you.) ERIK HENRIKSEN
Fri-Sat, Hotel Oregon, $20-40, all ages
Andre Nickatina, Six Fif, Speaker Child, Rell Money
Almost like clockwork, Andre Nickatina seems to hit the road every year, and Portland has always been a frequent stop of his. Though he’s toured mostly for the fun of it in recent years, Nickatina’s got a couple of things to celebrate with his current “King of March” tour. Not only is his birthday in March, but Nickatina also released his newest album, Pisces, during that month as well. Pisces marks a point in Nickatina’s career where he can ride on the relevance of Bay Area rap and his contributions to it, while also marking the resurgence of his record label, 75 Girls. The label actually came back secretly last year, but Pisces is 75 Girls’ official return, and it’s accompanied by a new roster of Bay Area talent to boot. Nickatina claims he doesn’t listen to much new rap, and that may have influenced how much Pisces sounds like classic-era Nickatina. He proudly keeps things old school, with both his own sounds and those of his 75 Girls artists. With the constant movement of the rap game, it’s refreshing to have the consistency and confidence that Andre Nickatina brings. CERVANTE POPE
8 pm, Roseland, $25, all ages
Portland Cello Project
The Portland Cello Project bring their genre-defying sounds to the Revolution Hall stage for a one-off hometown show with special guests Nancy Ives, Maiah Wynne, and Farnell Newton.
8 pm, Revolution Hall, $22-25, all ages
Don't call it a comeback, and don't call it a one-off. From the ashes of local legends The 3rd Floor has arisen the sketch comedy phoenix that is Nacho Gold, with a brand new set of ridiculous situations to luxuriate in, written and performed by Portland veterans Jordi Barnes, Lori Ferraro, Jason Keller, Jason Rouse, Tony Marcellino, and Ted Douglass.
Fri-Sat, 8 pm, Siren Theater, $12-15
The writer, artist, and poet reads from Trip, a blend of memoir, history, and journalistic exposé examining psychedelic drugs, art, and the life and work of the late Terence McKenna, a leading advocate of psychotropic drugs in the modern era.
7:30 pm, Powell's City of Books, free
The Briefs, Mean Jeans, The Girls, The Cry
The longtime Seattle rockers bring their infectious sounds down the I-5 to spearhead a night of pogo-ready pop-punk at Dante's along with support from Mean Jeans, The Girls, and The Cry.
9 pm, Dante's, $13
Candi Pop returns to Holocene to bring you another night of glitter, lollipops, rainbows, unicorns and all the bubblegum pop hits you could ever want.
9 pm, Holocene, $10-12
OMSI After Dark: Marys & Mimosas
Some of Portland's best brunch spots set up shop during OMSI after Dark to turn the science museum into the place to be if you love Bloody Marys, Mimosas, and breakfast food in general. And if you love breakfast, you probably also know the dirty secret about it: It tastes even better when you have it for dinner.
7 pm, Oregon Museum of Science & Industry, $40-70
Don't forget to check out our Things To Do calendar for even more things to do!