Jump to: Friday | Saturday | Sunday
Friday, Dec 21
Matt Braunger
Everyoneâs home for the holidays, and that includes comedian Matt Braunger, who grew up here right here in the Rose City. Braungerâs hilarious, of courseâjust check out his 2015 album Big, Dumb Animal for instant proofâand that would be reason enough to go, but this showâs bound to be something special, with the promise of special guests and other delights in store. (8 pm, Aladdin Theater, $20, all ages) NED LANNAMANN
Sad Day: Funeral for White Women
Pussy hats, TERFs, calling the police on petty annoyances, and donât forget the 47 percent that voted for Donald Trumpâwhite women have a lot to answer for. If white women have done you wrong, this drag show is for you. DJ and performer Patrick Buckmaster always shocks and inspires with Sad Dayâs themes, which have included clowns, strippers, and gender reveal parties. If youâre feeling sore about it, the good news is Sad Day is also a great place to cry. (9:30 pm, Tonic Lounge, $10, free for POC) SUZETTE SMITH
Aminé, Buddy
I think by now weâre all familiar with AminĂ©, the Portland-raised rapper who went viral in 2016 with hit single âCaroline.â AminĂ© also recently got attention for paying for a âYes, There Are Black People In Portlandâ billboard. Playing dual hometown shows right around the holidays has become something of a tradition for the rapper ever since being launched into the mainstream, and typically he brings along some surprise guest performers. This year the billâs got support in Compton rapper/singer Buddy, who is just as deserving of a major spotlight. His debut album Harlan & Alondra contains exceptional gems, like âTrouble On Central,â âShameless,â and especially single/closing track âShine.â (8 pm, Roseland, $25, all ages) JENNI MOORE
Sera Cahoone & Friends, Nick Delffs, Led To Sea
Nick Delffs cut his teeth as the principal songwriter in the Shaky Hands, one of the best and buzziest Portland indie rock bands of the last decade. The three records that group releasedâespecially their 2007 self-titled debutâhold up surprisingly well, largely thanks to Delffsâ stellar songwriting. Tracks like âWhales Singâ and âSunburnsâ wouldnât seem out of place on one of the more beloved Elephant 6 albums. Delffsâ more recent work as a solo artist is unsurprisingly greatâhis 2017 LPÂ Redesign, which is the first record heâs released under his proper name and not the solo moniker Death Songs, is restrained and decidedly mature. Nick Delffs may have lost his throaty bleat and jittery sensibilities with youth, but his newer songs are every bit as tuneful and adventurous. (9 pm, Doug Fir, $12-15) MORGAN TROPER
Emo Nite
Holocene hosts a special holiday weekend edition of the beloved recurring dance night (FKA Taking Back Tuesday) celebrating emo music of the late '90s and mid 2000s in all its glory. (9 pm, Holocene, $10)
It's a Wonderful Life
The holiday classic beloved by those valiantly fighting the slow, crushing, and inevitable truth that their lives have not mattered at all! The cherished Christmas tradition, remembered fondly as a black-and-white barrel of warm fuzzies, about a suicidal child abuse victim whose fuckup uncle nearly sinks his savings and loan, but realizes abandoning his wife and children for all eternity to roast in Hell is a bad idea thanks to a helpful guardian angel who shows him how much shittier his tycoon-ruled small town would be if he wasn't in it. MERRY CHRISTMAS, BEDFORD FALLS! (6:30 pm, Hollywood Theatre, $7-9) BOBBY ROBERTS
Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale
What if Santa were actually buried under a mountain in northern Finland, an unforgiving winterscape populated by wolves, reindeer, and a few burly, hardscabble men? Excavators unearth him a few days before Christmas, and now this naked, feral Santa's out for the blood of children. Rare Exports is effectively creepy, and the icy locations in Lapland are stunning. (9:30 pm, Hollywood Theatre, $7-9) NED LANNAMANN
A Very Trashy X-Mas Variety Show
Wallow in some goddamn trash this holiday season, and help raise money for The Living Room while you behold the burlesque wonders performed by some of the city's finest trash queens, stand-ups, performance artists, and other unique talents. Hosted by Valerie DeVille, with sounds by DJ Aurora. (9 pm, Crush, $10-12)
Satanic Xmas Party
So you've streamed all of Sabrina the Teenage Witch and you want a little more SATAN in your holiday? GOOD NEWS! Bryson Cone, the Wet Dream Committee, and Starship Infinity are down to fill that need. HAIL. (9 pm, The Fixin' To, $6.66, see what they did there? SATAN!)
Twist Your Dickens
Portland Center Stage presents the Second City's Christmas spoof Twist Your Dickens, directed by returning director Ron West and featuring some of the city's finest stage performers, including Nicholas Kessler, Rebecca Sohn, Bobby Mort, Chantal DeGroat, and more. (7:30 pm, Portland Center Stage, $25-82)
Saturday, Dec 22
XRAY.FM Presents: Mall Takeover!
Depending on your age, disposition, and levels of patience, the mall can either be a reminder of the venomous fangs of consumerism and American gluttony or the greatest thing in the entire fucking world. With the final installment of XRAY.fmâs Mall Takeover, Lloyd Center ebbs a little more toward the latter. Come find your favorite DJs spinning rare and bodacious vinyl offerings and stay for live tunes from Kayela J, along with a showcase from Friends of Noise. Shop at the local joints to stick it to the corps and get nice and cozy with the best radio station on the planet. (3 pm, Lloyd Center Mall, free, all ages) RYAN J. PRADO
Travis Scott
The Rose City is about to feel the full force of Travis Scott going sicko mode at the Moda when his "Astroworld: Wish You Were Here" tour comes through town, and he'll probably be a li'l more amped than usual considering just last week Kanye ran his mouth on twitter about him. Even if he doesn't address the beef (he probably shouldn't) it's likely gonna be one hell of a night. (7:30 pm, Moda Center, $26-166)
Natasha Leggero & Moshe Kasher
One of comedian Natasha Leggeroâs greatest strengths is her crowd work, and now thatâs sheâs married to (the also very funny) Moshe Kasher, this pair of laugh-makers are legitimately qualified to offer their audiences on-point relationship advice. Though it shouldnât be very difficult, drag your partner to this show, confess your deepest relationship problems to Natasha and Moshe, and prepare to be buried alive underneath a pile of hilarious knowledge, opinions, and (of course) jokes from this charming dynamic duo of comedy. (7:30 pm & 10 pm, Helium Comedy Club, $25) WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY
Renegade Craft Fair
It's true there are a lot of craft fairs in this city, but Renegade Craft Fair is one of the bigger and better ones, particularly since it adds a healthy sprinkling of vendors traveling from out of state to mix in with some of our own region's all-stars. (Sat-Sun 11 am, Pure Space, free) MARJORIE SKINNER
From Smiths to Smithereens: Portland's Tribute to '80s College Rock
Tonightâs show features a handful of great and diverse Portland acts paying tribute to alternative rockâs forebears: heavyweights like the Smiths and the Smithereens (obviously), but hopefully also underrated icons of the era like the dBs, Letâs Active, and XTC. The show also benefits p:ear, an organization that pledges to form relationships with homeless and transitional youth through art and education. (7:30 pm, Doug Fir, $15-18) MORGAN TROPER
Animated Christmas
Hollywood Theatre curators Greg Hamilton and the Phantom Hillbilly present their annual holiday showcase of rare short films and televised treats on both 16mm and VHS, including the rarely seen Paul Anka vehicle George and the Christmas Star, as well as A Cosmic Christmas and The Mole and the Christmas Tree. (2 pm, Hollywood Theatre, $7-9)
Die Hard Double Feature
It's sort of amazing how re-watchable Die Hard really is, especially on a giant theater screenâa large part of this film's place in the Christmas movie pantheon is a result of every pan, swoop, and lens flare barreling through Jan DeBont's camera lending the bloody, blue-collar madness an air of legitimate magic. And that magic is exponentially amplified the bigger the picture can be projected. Die Hard is so rewatchable that you might not even mind sitting through its subpar first sequel, especially since almost every moment that works in Renny Harlin's Die Harder is basically a riff on something that John McTiernan did in the first movie. (6:30 & 9:30 pm, Hollywood Theatre) BOBBY ROBERTS
Saturnalia Special: Gold Casio, Karma Rivera
Portlandâs Gold Casio melds campy, gold-plated disco with glitchy indie-pop, and the result is groovy and danceableâyou canât avoid this boogie fever, so might as well let it infect you. (9 pm, Holocene, $5-8) CIARA DOLAN
Speaker Minds, Courtney Noe, Kung Fu Vinyl
Speaker Minds bring their up-tempo hip-hop, funk, and soul fusion to the Mississippi Studios stage to head up a hometown show with support from Courtney Noe and Kung Fu Vinyl. (9 pm, Mississippi Studios, $5)
Keith & Tex, Winston Jarrett
Jamaican reggae stars Keith Rowe, Phillip Texas Dixon, and Winston Jarrett celebrate the holidays with a vintage ska and rocksteady showcase at the Jack London Revue. (9 pm, Jack London Revue, $20)
Sunday, Dec 23
Oh Sh!t: Last Minute Gift Fair
If youâve put off buying someone a gift until this point, itâs probably because theyâre so damn hard to shop for. Impress them by picking up a one-of-a-kind item at this fair hosted by Know Your City, a local art and social justice collective that showcases the creative work of LGBTQ people and people of color. Itâs worth stopping by even if youâve already wrapped up your holiday shoppingâyou deserve to buy yourself something special this season, too. (noon, Enthusiasm Collective, free) BLAIR STENVICK
The Alliance presents: Andy Haynes and Wilfred Padua
Co-hosts of the Miss Me With That comedy friend podcast Andy Haynes and Wilfred Padua headline Corina Lucas and Jake Silbermanâs the Alliance with their biting, irreverent, humor about... IDK mostly shoes and dating? The two former Seattleites (now theyâre New Yawkers) deliver jokes that are somewhere between a breath of fresh air and a risky bit about the caravan youâre not sure if youâre supposed to protest. (9 pm, Alberta Street Pub, $10) SUZETTE SMITH
Mattress, Petit Poucet
Portland crooner Rex Marshall (AKA Mattress) transforms Rontoms into an old-school Las Vegas casino with his experimental blend of soul and lounge music. (8 pm, Rontoms, free)
Black Christmas
The 1976 Christmas-themed slasher flick starring Margot Kidder and Olivia Hussey, more or less regarded as the grandmother of the slasher film. Directed by the guy who made A Christmas Story. (9:30 pm, Hollywood Theatre, $7-9)
A Christmas Story
Itâs the holiday classic that wonât go away! SEE! A shitty little kid rip his tongue raw on an icy pole! HEAR! The glorious collection of syllables that is âScut Farkus.â WINCE! At that super-racist scene where they go to the Chinese restaurant! CHEER! As Santa kicks a little kid in the face! Directed by the guy who made Porkyâs. (6:30 pm, Hollywood Theatre, $7-9) BOBBY ROBERTS
It's a Tony Starlight Christmas!
If you like your holiday swinging with a dose of cocktails, check out It's a Tony Starlight Christmas, in which Portland's fave crooner is joined by a rat pack of talented singers to perform classic holiday hits (and comedy) in the style of Frank, Dino, Liza, Bing, and more. (6 pm, The Tony Starlight Showroom, $30-70)
Five Buck Chuckles
Andie Main's Cool Kids Comedy showcase returns to the Doug Fir Lounge for a special wintertime installment, bringing you quality stand-up from Adam Pasi, Amanda Arnold, Becky Braunstein, and Molly Elwood on the cheap. (9 pm, Doug Fir, $5-8)
Don't forget to check out our Things To Do calendar for even more things to do!