Ladies, gentlemen, exhibitionists, voyeurs, appreciators of fine art, smut peddlers, comedy lovers, music aficionados, trappers of Blitzens and Yungest of Baes... if ever there was a weekend specifically designed for your specific tastes, it's this one. Hit the links below and load your plate accordingly


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Friday, Nov 8

Morgan Murphy
Listen, I’m not saying that Portland is entirely responsible for the success of Morgan Murphy’s career as a stand up and a comedy writer. But isn’t it interesting that she was born here and then went on to great acclaim as a writer for both Jimmy Kimmel and Jimmy Fallon’s late-night talk shows and popular CBS sitcom 2 Broke Girls? That’s not even counting her work on stage where she redefines deadpan delivery for our modern hyperbolic age. All I’m saying is that Portland made Morgan Murphy, and I’m hoping she does the right thing by acknowledging that this weekend. (Fri-Sat Nov 8-9, 7:30 pm & 10 pm, Helium Comedy Club, $17-33) ROBERT HAM

HUMP!
It’s the most wonderful time of the year! When the annual HUMP! amateur porn fest rolls into town, you know you’re going to be in for a hot time in the old town tonight. Don’t miss 21 new, sexy five-minute dirty flicks made by your friends and neighbors here in the Pacific Northwest that represent every stripe of sexual persuasion. Plus you get to vote on the lucky winners who will take home thousands in sweet cash MONEY. Get ready to laugh, squeal, and feel super tingly (down there) because HUMP! audience members have the time of their lives. But don’t delay, tickets for these shows are hotter than what you’ll see onscreen! (Fri-Sat Nov 8-9, 6:30 pm & 9 pm, Revolution Hall, $20-25, through Nov 23) WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY

Mikal Cronin, Shannon Lay
Mikal Cronin possess the uncanny knack for penning effortless-sounding pop gems. On his fourth record, Seeker, he mines his self-introspection and the comeback from a bad case of writer’s block with convincing aplomb, conjuring Tom Petty melodies on the single “Show Me” with help from Ty Segall’s Freedom Band (of which he is a card-carrying member). There’s a lot of inferno-inspired writing coming out of California following last year’s devastating wildfires, and Seeker is no different, exploring ideas of rebirth from destruction. Cronin seems a gentle soul armed with the ability to pull wisdom from a chaotic world. (Fri Nov 8, 9 pm, Mississippi Studios, $15-17, all ages) RYAN J. PRADO

Lit Crawl Portland
A boozy jaunt to literary parties all throughout downtown's bars and other nontraditional venues for readings, including stops at the Dorsa Brevia, Kickstand Comedy, Oregon Humanities, Literary Arts, The Big Legrowlski, Valentine's, and more! Click here for a complete schedule and list of participating venues. (Fri Nov 8, 6 pm, Various Locations, free)

David Sedaris
If you think you’re too cool for David Sedaris—the first of his name, brother of Amy, author of NPR’s old reliable holiday mainstay (c’mon, the Santaland Diaries is GOOD) and such humorist delights as Me Talk Pretty One Day and Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim—you’re lying to yourself and you need to stop. Sedaris’ dry wit is indispensable in trying times. Go get some! (Fri Nov 8, 7:30 pm, Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, $32.50-57.50) MEGAN BURBANK

Twin Peaks
Chicago-hailing garage rockers Twin Peaks return to town for an all-ages, headlining show supporting their latest album, Lookout Low. (Fri Nov 8, 9 pm, Wonder Ballroom, $18-20, all ages)

Little Hurricane
With the weather growing colder and the sun going down earlier, now is the perfect time for discovering new music at home, especially when the artist in question—dirty blues band Little Hurricane—provides ideal background music for nocturnal snuggling on the couch. Their minimalist blues-rock has been the soundtrack of five Taco Bell commercials, which, as a cheap-burrito lover, almost makes me love the San Diego duo even more. The only thing better than a Friday night is one spent listening to Little Hurricane’s lo-fi sounds. Check out songs like “Haunted Heart,” “Sun Sets West,” and “Give ’em Hell,” and prepare yourself for one mother of a staycation. (Fri Nov 8, 9 pm, Doug Fir, $20-23) KATHERINE MORGAN

Portland Trail Blazers vs. Brooklyn Nets
The Trail Blazers return home for a Friday night game against Kyrie Irving and the new-look Brooklyn Nets. (Fri Nov 8, 7 pm, Moda Center, $31 & Up, all ages)

Jeffrey Lewis & The Voltage, Wuhlux
What can’t Jeffrey Lewis do? He’s the world’s leading authority on Watchmen, a noted comic book artist, and a brilliant (anti-) folk singer and lyricist. Catch up with him tonight when he brings the latest iteration of his band through the Fixin' To for a Friday-night performance that's guaranteed to lift your spirits heading into the weekend. (Fri Nov 8, 8 pm, The Fixin' To, $10)

IRCO Fundraiser
A benefit concert for the Immigrant and Refugee Community Organization, featuring performances from The Vagilantes, Mess Machine, Charley No Face, and Fake News. (Fri Nov 8, 8 pm, Twilight Cafe & Bar, $8)

Alaska Thunderfuck & Jeremy Mikush: Amethyst Journey Live
RuPaul's Drag Race all-star Alaska Thunderfuck and her longtime collaborator Jeremy Mikush bring their newly-minted musical duo through the Aladdin Theater for the Portland stop on a tour supporting their new album, Amethyst Journey. (Fri Nov 8, 8 pm, Aladdin Theater, $40-100, all ages)

Moonchild, Kiefer
Soul'd Out presents a headlining set with Los Angeles trio Moonchild, who bring their jazzy blend of R&B and soul back to the Star Theater stage in support of their latest album, Little Ghost. (Fri Nov 8, 9 pm, Star Theater, $23-25)

Monsters of Rock PDX
Monsters Of Rock PDX returns to the stage for the first time in 4 years to head up a benefit show for local musician Merrill Hale and his battle with ALS. Expect to hear covers from the likes of Alice In Chains, Soundgarden, Thin Lizzy, and more, with sets spanning the '60s, '70s, '80s, '90s, and 2000s. (Fri Nov 8, 9 pm, Dante's, $20)


Saturday, Nov 9

The Portland Book Festival
This one-day book fair and live reading / discussion event used to be called Wordstock, but no one can deny that Portland Book Festival has grown into its own cool beast. Since it’s only one day, it’s easy to splurge on a bunch of books, get them signed by your favorite authors, and sit in on a talk or two. Then you still have Sunday for laundry and “Book Church,” which is what I call making too much breakfast and sitting around with a huge pile of unread books. If you like the sound of this, but also want to get wild, make sure to scope the always boozy, popular Lit Crawl the night before. (Sat Nov 9, 9 am, Portland Art Museum, $15-20, all ages) SUZETTE SMITH

The Pacific Crest Comedy Fest
Portland’s comedy scene is bonkers (bonkers GOOD) which is why the addition of a brand-new comedy festival that features the greatest comedians from around town and across the nation is very welcome indeed! It’s the Pacific Crest Comedy Fest, featuring Steph Tolev and Maggie Maye; hometown gals made good Caitlin Weierhauser, Bri Pruett, and Amy Miller; local heavy hitters Nariko Ott, Amanda Arnold, Shain Brenden, Kate Murphy, Amanda Arnold; and many more! But that ain’t all: Expect awesome podcasts and regular shows like Earthquake Hurricane, Minority Retort, Speechless, the return of Lez Stand Up, pant, pant, pant… TOO MANY TO MENTION! Good god, that’s a lot of laughs in a short amount of time. (Sat-Sun Nov 9-10, Siren Theater) WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY

Yung Bae, Birocratic
Portland producer Yung Bae brings an array of future funk and disco jams out to Holocene for a two-night hometown stand. (Sat-Sun Nov 9-10, 9 pm, Holocene, $13-17)

Robert Forster
The last time Robert Forster was in the Northwest, it was as a member of the Go-Betweens, performing in Seattle in 2005 during what would become that venerable pop group’s final tour. (Forster’s longtime musical partner Grant McLennan passed away suddenly a year later.) Much has happened in his life since then, including a regular gig as a music critic, an impassioned memoir about his work with McLennan, and three fantastic solo albums. His most recent, Inferno, finds Forster in peak form, with a folk-pop backing band, ambling through his back pages and unblinkingly facing his waning years with grace. (Sat Nov 9, 8 pm, Mississippi Studios, $22-25) ROBERT HAM

Dune Rats
Brisbane-based garage punk trio Dune Rats comes back to Portland for a night of boisterousness finely honed down under. (Sat Nov 9, 9 pm, Bunk Bar, $15)

The I, Anonymous Show
Fuck off, Avengers! When it comes to once-in-a-lifetime superhero team-ups, NOBODY can compete with the lineup of comics that are assembling for the next installment of the Mercury’s beloved I, Anonymous Show! This time around—and in conjunction with the Pacific Crest Comedy Fest—our live show will feature host Kate Murphy, former host Bri Pruett, and former host Caitlin Weierhauser! AND they’re bringing along the hilarious Steven Wilber for the ride! In other words? If you want top-notch comics reading and reflecting on some of the Mercury’s funniest, weirdest, creepiest, and (very occasionally) sexiest submissions to our popular I, Anonymous column, you can’t do any better. And who knows, maybe Hawkeye will show up too. Not like he’s got anything better to do. (Sat Nov 9, 6 pm, Siren Theater, $10) ERIK HENRIKSEN

Max Bemis, Perma, Museum Mouth
Say Anything frontman Max Bemis steps out for a solo show at the Hawthorne Theatre, with Perma and Museum Mouth on-hand to round out the all-ages bill. (Sat Nov 9, 8 pm, Hawthorne Theatre, $19-23, all ages)

Del McCoury Band, The Jacob Joliff Band
Del McCoury's band is a well-oiled machine of precisely plucked strings and high lonesome vocals that should sound positively divine bouncing around the Aladdin Theater tonight. (Sat Nov 9, 8 pm, Aladdin Theater, $42.50-45, all ages) BEN SALMON

Matt Andersen, Gaby Moreno, Liz Vice
The Canadian guitarist and singer/songwriter out of New Brunswick brings his brand of blues through Portland as part of the "Roots Rising" Tour, with Guatemala-hailing folk and blues artist Gaby Moreno and Portland gospel and R&B singer/songwriter Liz Vice rounding out the bill. (Sat Nov 9, 9 pm, Star Theater, $20)

NW Food & Wine Festival
Three of the greatest things on the planet, all at the same time? Food, Wine, and the Northwest combine for a full day of deliciousness, with over 600 wines available to sample, and bites from over 50 restaurants to enjoy. There's beer too, because it's an event in the Northwest so that means there's beer somewhere in there. (Sat Nov 9, 4 pm, Oregon Convention Center, $75-95)

Patrick Sweany
The blues-rock singer/songwriter out of Massillon, Ohio brings his soulful sound back to town for an intimate Saturday-night show supporting his latest album, Ancient Noise. (Sat Nov 9, 8 pm, Polaris Hall, 413-15)

Hell Hath No Funny
You can always count on Siren Nation coming through town and putting together one hell of a lady-centric night of comedy. This year's hell features stand-up sets from local all-stars Katie Nguyen, Susan Rice, Andy Iwancio, Quinne Salameh, and Katie Murphy. (Sat Nov 9, 9 pm, Alberta Street Pub, $12)

Sisters of the Road 40th Anniversary Fundraiser
The 40th anniversary of Sisters of the Road's founding is a momentous occasion, so big that only Darcelle XV could properly star in it, with special guests Commissioner Jo Ann Hardesty, and Sisters co-founder Genny Nelson. The evening will include speakers, musicians, performances, and more. (Sat Nov 9, 5 pm, Billy Webb Elks Lodge, $100)


Sunday, Nov 10

Little Brother
Fresh off the release of their latest album, May The Lord Watch, North Carolina-hailing rappers Phonte and Big Pooh bring their reunited hip-hop act to the Wonder Ballroom stage for an all-ages performance. (Sun Nov 10, 9 pm, Wonder Ballroom, $28-33, all ages)

Blitzen Trapper, The Parson Red Heads
The experimental, folk-country monster pairing of Blitzen Trapper and the Parson Red Heads alone would make for a formidable evening at Revolution Hall, but tonight’s all-ages, fully seated show has a more philanthropic bent. The concert will benefit Do Good Multnomah, a local nonprofit working to assist veterans with housing by way of “relationship-building, one-on-one engagement, supportive services, and direct community participation.” Both bands are staples of Portland’s psych-oriented roots-rock scene and have transcended the city’s confines with their last several albums. Check them out and help a good cause at the same time. (Sun Nov 10, 7 pm, Revolution Hall, $30, all ages) RYAN J. PRADO

Ariel Gore
Journalist, author, and teacher Ariel Gore returns with Hexing the Patriarchy, detailing over two dozen potions, spells, and magical elixirs in the form of a "magical guide to subverting manboy power, one spell at a time." Gore will be joined in conversation by More Bowstern, Sailor Holladay, Rhiannon Flowers, Felicity Artemis, Anna Doogan & Dani Burlison (Sun Nov 10, 7:30 pm, Powell's City of Books, free)

MusicPortland Gear Fest
Music advocacy program MusicFest takes over Polaris Hall to transform it into a celebration of Portland's music community; not just its performers, but the artists who make the actual instruments and gear those performers communicate with. (Sun Nov 10, noon, Polaris Hall, $5-6)

Taylor Tomlinson
Do you need love, or do you need carbs? Taylor Tomlinson says they’re basically interchangeable and anyone who’s ever had baked macaroni and cheese will confirm: carbs are flat-out better. But would we have put this hilarious truth together before Tomlinson swept in like a wildly funny eagle with that gag clenched in her razor-sharp talons? Things I have compared Tomlinson to: a joke-firing machine gun and a powerful eagle. Needless to say, I’m hella excited to hear this up and coming comedian tape her next Netflix special in OUR CITY. Prepare to hear all her best material because THIS is going to be on the internet! (Sun Nov 10, 5:30 pm & 8 pm, Aladdin Theater, $20) SUZETTE SMITH

Sci-Fi Authorfest 13
Your chance to meet, mingle, and get books signed by Sci-Fi authors Terry Brooks, Robin Hobb, Brent Weeks, Fonda Lee, Sebastien de Castell, Shawn Speakman, Caitlin Starling, Jason Gurley, Curtis C. Chen, Brenda Cooper, Kevin James Breaux, Spencer Ellsworth, Ken Scholes, Devon Monk, and Emily Suvada. (Sun Nov 10, 4 pm, Powell's Books at Cedar Hills Crossing, free)

The Shivas, Cry Babe, Ex-Kids
Beloved Portland psych and garage rock outfit the Shivas swing through the Doug Fir to celebrate the release of their new Tender Loving Empire-issued album, Dark Thoughts, with like-minded locals Cry Babe and Ex-Kids rounding out the bill. (Sun Nov 10, 8 pm, Doug Fir, $10)

Mouthy Live
Piper Davis' podcast comes to the Nightwood Society for Native American Heritage Month, to talk about culture, tradition, history, and of course, food, with special guests Brigette and Sean McConville of Salmon King Catering. (Sun Nov 10, 3:30 pm, The Nightwood Society, $25)

Phenomenal Woman
Portland singer/songwriters LaRhonda Steele, Bre Gregg, Beth Wood, and Ara Lee James link up with a talented backing band to bring you an array of original music, along with tributes to greats like Nina Simone, Carole King, Etta James, Dolly Parton, Bonnie Raitt, Patty Griffin, Aretha Franklin, and Joni Mitchell. (Sun Nov 10, 7 pm, Alberta Rose Theatre, $20, all ages)

Sincerity is Gross: The Dirty Thirdiversary
James Barela's stand-up showcase makes it to its third year on this filthy planet, and if you thought this was the show where some sentimentality and (gasp) sincerity poked its head through the crust, you're pretty sadly fuckin' mistaken: Mr. Barela promises that when Anthony Desamito, Lance Edward, Dylan Carlino, Wendy Weiss, and Diana Potter all take the stage? They're comin' with their nastiest shit, son. (Sun Nov 10, 8 pm, The Slide Inn, free)

Don't forget to check out our Things To Do calendar for even more things to do!