Well, this is it: The last week of July. This coming weekend we enter August territory, and that puts us one more month closer to this year finally ending, and things hopefully getting better. And on the way to that future, we have plenty of amazing Things to Do right here in the present, things like seeing one of the best stand-ups currently touring, catching a footy-match, hearing some submarine stories during Fleet Week, enjoying one hell of a lineup going HAM on our latest I, Anonymous Show, and much more! And as our Editor-In-Chief likes to say: If you're going to go out: Wash Ya Damn Hands, Wear Ya Damn Mask, hit the links below, and plan your week accordingly!

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Brian Regan
Helium hosts this in-person series of stand-up sets with renowned "comedian's comedian" Brian Regan, known for his observational, sarcastic, and self-deprecating style, his animated stage presence, and his ability to appeal to a broad range of age groups and audiences.


Rose Festival Virtual Fleet Week
It's the start of Fleet Week in Portland, and that means eight massive ships from the US Navy, US Coast Guard, and the Royal Canadian Navy, along with some old historic ships, will be floating down the Willamette River. Normally, this would be the part where we tell you to head down there with a camera, and marvel at the scores of sailors swarming downtown. But because of this pandemic, none of that will be happening in-person. It will be happening online, though, streamed straight to your living room daily, with events including a cruise from Astoria to Portland, Stories from the USS Oregon submarine, Navy Band concerts, and more.

Welcome to El: An Intimate Night of Comedy with El Sanchez
At the end of February 2020, comedian El Sanchez headlined their very last live stand-up show at the Fremont Abbey Arts Center in the Fremont neighborhood of Seattle just before live shows were to become a thing of dreams. The show was intimate and fun and involved some new material El never said before and may never say again. It just so happens that El had the show recorded for future submissions and a general reel. Now El is sharing their 45-minute performance with folx who were not able to attend. Not only because the world cause use some more laughter and El and their family could use some more diapers (they have a 2-year-old), but also because their material about the last season of The Bachelor will only work for so long.

MLS is Back Tournament
Soccer is back! And that means the Portland Timbers are back. It won't be the same (Spoilers: NOTHING will be the same) as if they were in Providence Park, but they will return to the field to compete in Major League Soccer's one-off tournament, marking the league's return after a COVID-19 hiatus. Watch them live from Disney World.

Monday, July 27


Come Thru BIPOC Market
One of the state's only Monday markets, open every other week, with BIPOC-only vendors ("Black and Indigenous folks to the front of the line," they say), featuring over 20+ vendors offering up their grown and custom-made goods, including food, drinks, gifts, and health/wellness products.

Portland Folk
A quartet of local folk acts set up outside the Big Legrowlski to do their bit to tie the neighborhood together like the Dude's rug. Performers include Katie Jane Wise, Silas William Alexander, Matt Puccio Jr., and Caleb & the Monsters.


Street of Dreams @Home 2020
The slow-motion parade of housing envy that is the annual Street of Dreams is going online for 2020, and turning into more of a retrospective of home dreams past, and helpful tips for turning the home you're in now into something closer to the homes you're looking at online. With opportunities to meet the builders, watch demos, sit in on a design panel, and more. Presented by NW Natural.

Collide-O-Scope has been described as "half video art installation and half stoner gawkfest" and for 10 years it has been an entertainment staple for seekers of fun and hilarity, and lovers of the weird and wild. Using pop culture ephemera and obscure oddities from film, VHS, music and all forms of media as their paints and canvas, Collide-O-Scope is an expertly crafted, mind-melting, often hilarious stream of consciousness video extravaganza.

Kennedy School Virtual History Pub
This month's installment in the ongoing lecture series about Oregon history focuses on "The Hunt For Sir Francis Drake's Fair and Good Bay." Historian and author Melissa Darby breaks down the remarkable voyage of the Golden Hind in 1579, and argues that Drake didn't bury a Spanish treasure in California, but rather, here in Oregon!

Paul Tremblay, Jeremy Robert Johnson
Fans of thoughtful dystopian sci-fi (as opposed to the thoughtless dystopian reality we're currently hoping to escape) will enjoy this discussion between two fine practitioners of that inventive art: Skullcrack City's Jeremy Robert Johnson sits down for an online conversation with Bram Stoker Award-winner Paul Tremblay to discuss his latest, Survivor Song, about Massachusetts trying to stop the spread of a strain of rabies that incubates in less than an hour and turns victims into slavering, biting, mindless hordes.

Tuesday, July 28


Virtual Drag Queen Storytime: Be Amazing
Green Bean Books hosts this livestream starring teen drag superstar Desmond is Amazing (Desmond Napoles), who will teach younger viewers about some LBGTQ+ history through this reading of his debut picture book Be Amazing: A History of Pride!.

Dave Hill
The self-described "Pride of Cleveland" brings his tried-and-true blend of comedy and music to this livestreamed set broadcast live from "a small, air-condition-free room in his pandemic bunker."

Bedroom Bingo w/ Betty Wetter & Cookie Couture
You don't need a bingo card to tune in to powerhouse drag queens Betty Wetter and Cookie Couture on Zoom. Betty & Cookie call out random household items and articles of clothing that you search for from the comfort of your own home. First person to find five items wins that sweet, sweet BINGO! Think of it as a virtual scavenger hunt (and an excuse to clean or re-arrange your living space) with live commentary by your queens!


Donavon Frankenreiter
Billabong-sponsored surfer and frequent Jack Johnson collaborator Donavon Frankenreiter comes back ashore for a livestreamed set from the Belly Up in Solana Beach.

Portland's premier synthwave dance night should find itself right at home in this new virtual setting, as Wolftron delivers a full set of retrowave and darksynth sounds, with support from fellow outrunners Beta Unit, nOvatron, and Starvolt.

Take your mind for a spin in the latest episode of the Creative Music Guild's Outset Livestream series.

Wednesday, July 29


The I, Anonymous Show
The long-running Portland Mercury column “I, Anonymous” is famous for asking readers to send in their most whacked-out rants and scandalous confessions—anonymously! In this special LIVE-STREAMED edition of The I, Anonymous Show, your host Kate Murphy will read some of the wildest and uncensored I, Anonymous submissions we've ever received. And even better, these secret (often very naughty) stories will be dissected and discussed by a panel of hilarious, nationally recognized comedians: Arlo Weierhauser, David Gborie and Sean Jordan! So if you're looking for a night of side-splitting, jaw-dropping rants and confessions—don't miss this live-streamed edition of The I, Anonymous Show!

The Stranger Presents: Silent Reading Party
A lot of people are taking the opportunity to turn the online version of The Stranger's super-successful words 'n' vibes experience into a weekly online destination, a respite from (waves hands exasperatedly at basically everything) and an opportunity to simply... slow up, sit down, and just listen to live piano music while sinking into a good book. If you haven't tried it out yet, tonight's the night, and we'll see you at 6pm. If you have tried it out before? Welcome back. It's a damn nice oasis of low-key bliss, isn't it?

Jim Woodring
Floating World Comics hosts this virtual book signing starring Jim Woodring, the creator of And Now, Sir—Is THIS Your Missing Gonad?, a collection of previously unpublished single-panel comics, annotated by Woodring.

Ladies Who Liquor
Gio Gutierrez hosts this livestreamed how-to for cocktail lovers and would-be mixologists, starring Phuc Yea co-owner Aniece Meinhold, showing viewers how to recreate her Femme Fatale drinks that make use of Vietnamese flavors and heat.

Virtual Front Porch Sessions
Front Porch Sessions invites lovers of true-life tales to join them as they make their first foray into the online world to build connections through storytelling, listening, and sharing.


Reverend Peyton's Big Damn Band
The country blues and roots trio out of Brown County, Indiana return to transform their Facebook page into a livestreamed hootenanny.

Live from the Starlight Showroom: Guys & Guitars
Live from the Starlight Showroom, Tony sits down with Nick O'Donnell for round three of good ol' pluckin', pickin', and strummin' out more than a few cowboy ditties, some '80s classics, and even some singer/songwriter stuff.

Thursday, July 30


Virtual History Pub: Toward a Better, More Just Community
Tim Hills, McMenamins Lead Historian, walks livestream audiences through the little-known story of Andrew and Sarah Johnston, two former slaves who settled in what's now the Blue Moon Tavern in 1870. Their efforts didn't stop there, as they became part of a larger, Black-led effort to ensure equal rights and education for Black people on the west coast.

Do you love to make cocktails? Do you love to draw? Want to chat with ‘Police Reports Illustrated’ creator Callan Berry? Join the party at Speakeasy!— the talkshow where you get to make cocktails!— every other Thursday, starting on June 10! You’ll learn how to make a cocktail, draw a small comic, and get any questions asked— ANY questions!— by the one and only Callan Berry!

Kate Green, Sian Proctor
Powell's hosts this online conversation between geoscientist/explorer Sian Proctor and author Kate Greene, whose Once Upon a Time I Lived on Mars features essays inspired by Greene's four-month stay inside a simulated Martian habitat as part of NASA's first "HI-SEAS" mission.


Dermot Kennedy
It's about time there was another famous Dermot on the scene so Mr. Mulroney didn't have to carry all that weight by himself. Dermot Kennedy is exclusively livestreaming this special "Some Summer Night" event from the Natural History Museum. No audience, no on-demand replays. The only way to catch this show is online, as it airs.

The Bright Light Social Hour
A livestream straight off the stage from The Oven in Austin, TX, with the acclaimed band performing their upcoming LP Jude Vol. II front-to-back.

The Beths
Don’t worry about placing the Beths within a larger trajectory of New Zealand music. Sure, the Auckland four-piece has a few things in common with the influential “Dunedin sound” and the reservoir of remarkable bands that made up the roster of Flying Nun Records, but the Beths are closer to power-pop than jingle-jangle, existing in a warm, cozily seductive place that’s not quite twee, not really punk, not exactly pop, and not too rock—it’s a place that can only be described as the Beths, and it stands a pretty good chance of being your favorite new place to hang out this year.

Lewi Longmire
One of the most ubiquitous and charismatic musicians around town, Lewi Longmire has played with nearly every able-bodied picker in Portland. Longmire's namesake band plays rustic Americana with some classic-rock electricity and a smattering of West Coast hippiedom for good measure. Free-wheelin' country-folk numbers sit beside peppy, Petty-esque rockers, and it all sounds great—probably even better after a joint or two.

Don’t let the name fool you—Bully might be rough around the edges, but they play sticky-sweet grunge-punk with emotionally honest lyrics. Bully masterfully combines punk fuzz and catchy pop hooks, and the result is infectiously energetic.