My goodness, Louis CK came on stage and "people at the show just had to sit there." Somehow their feet automatically stopped working and they were unable to stand up and leave the room. I didn't realize Louis CK had magical powers.

So the comedy cellar locks their doors when the show starts now? Someone should let the fire marshall know.

The city should put a bounty on the heads of raccoons in Portland, but only allow verified homeless people to hunt the raccoons. The homeless could then trade the pelts for monthlong rental vouchers.

welcome, elinor. :)

Don't be mean. We're already in a world of poo. No need to keep dumping it in. You can be funny without being rude and cynical.