I've already written at length about how hard I've fallen back in love with America's most infamous Guido gorilla juicehead meatballs. What was once pure armchair anthropology has become a self-referential experiment as, week to week, the cast of Jersey Shore try and build their brand by coining new catchphrases and acting like lunkheads so they can sell T-shirts with those same catchphrases on them which, in turn, garners them enough money to continue acting like lunkheads for another season. It's fascinating!

Palestra, Le Scottature Solari, Lavanderia!
  • Palestra, Le Scottature Solari, Lavanderia!

It's a coiffed, spray-tanned Ouroboros of a premise that can only last for a limited time. Much credit, then, goes to MTV for figuring out the most natural way to stretch the snake: season four of Jersey Shore will film in Italy!

It's really the next logical step. If season two was the Jersey Babies celebrating their media success by "taking Miami" (read. alternately irritating Miami while banging the parts of it with low self-esteem), season three is their triumphant return home to an adoring New Jersey that is building a tourism industry around them. What else is there to do but "return" to Italy, the place these Guidos identify with the strongest yet have never visited? The clusterfuck continues, y'all! Get excited!