Hey! Did you watch Breaking Bad last night? Could this possibly be something you want to chitty-chat about? YAY! Let's get chitty-chatting in the Breaking Bad Chitty-Chat Club! My thoughts and spoilers after the jump!

Wait... I turn 51, and all I get is a stupid hat? WHAT... THE... FUCK.
  • Courtesy AMC
  • "Wait... I turn 51, and all I get is a stupid hat? WHAT... THE... FUCK."

So here's what I'm thinking...

1) This very special episode of Breaking Bad (Walt's birthday edition) is brought to you by DODGE! And... product placement! VRRRRRROOOOOOM!! That was a terrible idea Walt had, by the way. I know he thinks he's all untouchable now, and he's no longer listening to Skyler's good advice, but buying those two cars are rookie moves. Think he's trying to be the anti-thesis of Gus? Or is this kind of bad writing?

2) Crazy though she may be, I kind of have a crush on Lydia (our Madrigal Electrowhatever representative). She reminds me of 37 of my ex-girlfriends... and that includes trying to trick me into thinking the DEA has bugged my barrel of meth juice. (BTW, who was right in that situation: Mike, Jess, or Walt? I say Walt... but that's because I'm a sucker for Lydia.)

3) The most gorgeous, terrifying, but kind of unbelievable part of the episode? Skyler's b-day dinner party which results in her taking a long walk into a deep pool. WHAT DID YOU MAKE OF HER DISPLAY? Was she actually trying to off herself (I don't think so, because unless you're swimming with a Beta machine from 1982 tied to your foot, you probably won't drown), or be super Miss Drama Queen to convince Hank and Marie to keep the kids out of their "bad" environment? Or is she just like my #23 ex-girlfriend and KA-RAAAAAZY?

4) A few words of advice to Skyler: a) Either stop smoking so much, or buy a legitimate ash tray. b) Go to work at the car wash now and then. c) Waiting for your meth cooking hubby to die of cancer isn't a good idea either... though that was a sweet zinger.

5) TICK, TICK, TICK says the watch, which was another not-so-subtle reminder that the series is hurtling to a close, and Walt will be pulling guns out of his trunk at at California Denny's to get in a gunfight with... new DEA head Hank? A suddenly smartened up Jess? A vengeful Mike? A cute but crazy Lydia? A smoking Skyler? Or just some random cartel member? OH! And I suppose Walt Jr. could kill him too—that is unless Mr. Cancer gets him first. WHAT IS YOUR THEORY ON THIS? Chitty-chat. TICK, TICK, TICK.

Glub... glub... I think I dropped my cigarettes down here. Glub... glub.
  • Courtesy AMC
  • "Glub... glub... I think I dropped my cigarettes down here. Glub... glub."