Smile while you can, big guy.
Smile while you can, big guy. HBO

Throoooones! Last night’s episode was as thrilling and heartbreaking as the HBO show has ever been in all of its five-and-a-half seasons. That didn’t make last night's final scene any easier to watch, mind you. But we all knew what we signed up for when we started watching Game of Thrones: If you’re looking for a cute little story with happy endings for all, you’ve been given more than ample warning that this is not the show for you.

And think about what we got: The meaning of a beloved character’s name, as well as the fulfillment of his ultimate destiny. The supernatural origins of the show’s chief villain. The rebuke of a character’s shitty behavior from another character who has been primarily drawn as a victim thus far, but is now becoming a strong and strategic figure of her own.

Ugh, and some more unhilarious fart jokes. Game of Thrones, you giveth and you taketh away. Spoilers (and a few farts) ahead.

• • •

Hmm. This confrontation scene isnt going to work if we block it like this. What if we try it with the characters actually LOOKING at each other?
"Hmm. This confrontation scene isn't going to work if we block it like this. What if we try it with the characters actually LOOKING at each other?" HBO

At Mole’s Town, Sansa confronts Littlefinger in one of the season’s best scenes yet. Of what her husband, Ramsay Snow/Bolton, has done to her, Sansa unflinchingly informs him: “I can still feel it.” Ouch. This was devastating to watch. Meanwhile, plotwise, we learn that Sansa’s great-uncle, the Blackfish, is amassing an army down at Riverrun.
THE GOOD: Game of Thrones has stepped into puddles of controversy more than a few times with its cavalier-seeming depiction of rape and sexual abuse. Sansa’s brutal interrogation of Littlefinger felt like a partial atonement of sorts. It didn’t right any wrongs, but it at least felt like an acknowledgement of them. More importantly, it depicted how Sansa has become a character of agency and power rather than one defined by her victimhood.
THE BAD: But argh, why does she not have Brienne just chop up Baelish right then and there? In HBO’s brief post-show wrap-up (I really hate those; see below*), one of the show’s creators suggests Sansa is looking ahead a couple moves and seeing that the little worm could be worth having around. But in the moment of the scene, I thought she was exhibiting signs of mercy and naivety—the very things that got her dad, Ned Stark, into such a pickle.
THE HUH?: Did Sansa turn away the Knights of the Vale, too, just because she’s mad at Littlefinger? That seems like a terrible move. Jon and Sansa need all the help they can get.

• • •

Kingsmoot? More like a kings poot HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA
Kingsmoot? More like a king's poot HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA HBO

In Braavos, more fighting with sticks. Arya is still apparently not done with her training (lengthy sigh). Fight sequences, even training sequences, should be thrilling. But these are just boring, and I’m not sure I can figure out why, exactly. Anyway, Arya gets an assignment of sorts to kill an actress—a stand-in for Cersei, perhaps? A pair of beautiful breasts and a warty ballsack ensue.
THE GOOD: Arya witnessing the legacy of her father be sullied by third parties is pretty fascinating. She’s even forced to watch a recreation of Ned Stark’s beheading. There’s absolutely no way she’ll be able to become “no one,” not with injustices like this lingering in her past. Whether she can fool the Faceless Men into letting her become a full-time assassin while simultaneously holding on to her grudges remains to be seen.
THE BAD: The rest of this whole theater troupe is really annoying (ugh, they even speak in verse). And seven hells, more fart jokes? This is by far the worst of the show’s tendencies. I cringed during this entire awful play, which was like a Renn Faire beamed directly into my living room.
THE HUH?: Uh… was that Richard E. Grant?

• • •

This will hurt only for a few thousand years.
"Calm down, this will only hurt for a few thousand years." HBO

At the cave of the Three-Eyed Raven, Bran and Max von Sydow watch the Children of the Forest create the White Walkers thousands of years ago. All it took was a gentle push of a shard of dragonglass into a man’s heart as he’s tethered to a weirwood tree. Easy-peasy!
THE GOOD: This is huge for the books’/show’s mythology. In fact, this might be the single most important event we’ve seen thus far in the entire series. And yeah, this revelation changes everything. If the Children of the Forest created the White Walkers, it stands to reason they can un-create them. But why they haven’t done so in thousands of years suggests it might not be that simple.
THE BAD: So, a weapon originally intended for self-preservation ends up threatening the entire world… Is this whole stupid show going to be a metaphor for the arms race and the dangers of unilateral defense? We’ve gotten enough of that in the Marvel movies, thank you.
THE HUH?: I am really starting to think that cutting Bran out of Season Five was a terrible mistake. This plotline is the most crucial to the overall story, and it’s the most interesting, too—except that things feel rushed now, and somewhat unintelligible at times. Bran, the Three-Eyed Raven, and the Children of the Forest require far more real estate than what the show’s given them. More on this in a minute.

• • •

Lets build an Iron fleet! Not out of actual iron, mind you. Irons not very buoyant.
"Let's build an Iron fleet! Not out of actual iron, mind you. That would probably sink." HBO

At Pyke, we finally see what a Kingsmoot looks like. Turns out it’s just a bunch of crusty dudes standing around on a rock. Also—the Iron Islanders apparently vote for their king. Do they not understand the meaning of the word “king”? Iron Islands = cradle of democracy!
THE GOOD: As unimpressive as the Kingsmoot was, the sequence that followed was some of the best filmmaking in the series, in which Yara and Theon’s flight was intercut with Euron’s coronation. This was terrific visual storytelling.
THE BAD: That crown of driftwood is a very silly looking crown indeed.
THE HUH?: Anyone else think for a second that when the crowd began to chant “Euron,” they were actually shouting “Yara”?

• • •

Can I borrow your hand cream?
"Can I borrow your hand cream?" HBO

Over in Vaes Dothrak, we get a tender moment between Jorah the Andal and his all-time ladycrush, Daenerys Stormborn.
THE GOOD: This was a sweet little scene. He’s all “I love you gurl” and she’s all “go cure your STD bae and we’ll talk.”
THE BAD: Dang, how’s he gonna cure his greyscale, though? Shireen Baratheon, Stannis’ ultra-flammable daughter, obviously found some kind of a cure but I don’t think the show really explained how this was done. Is Jorah going to have to go back to Westeros, from whence he was banished evermore?
THE HUH?: Pretty sure Dani and Daario are going to be rutting like dogs the whole time Jorah’s away.

• • •

Sure, I look like Rachel Weisz NOW, but you should see me without the necklace.
"Sure, I look like Rachel Weisz NOW, but you should see me without the necklace." HBO

In Meereen, we get more backroom intrigue from Tyrion and Varys. It’s a good thing these two are among the most charming actors/characters in the whole series, because their plotline has devolved into a snoozefest. HOWEVER, the introduction of another red priestess suggests that this might tie into the magickal a-doings transpiring over in Westeros.
THE GOOD: Yeah, definitely on board with Kinvara, the Red Priestess of Volantis. She’s obviously a lot smarter than Melisandre and seems to have something of a moral compass, too.
THE BAD: Her whole “nonbelievers get burned by dragons” worldview might prove problematic, though.
THE HUH?: Goddamit, what did the voice in the flames say to Varys?!? Just tell us! Stupid suspenseful TV show.

• • •

Ooh, an army of the dead? Ill just walk right into it. Im in a tree dream! What could possibly go wrong?
"Ooh, an army of the dead? I'll just walk right into it. I'm in a tree dream! What could possibly go wrong?" HBO

Back under the weirwood tree, Bran hacks the cable box and starts watching Skinemax for free (not my joke, see below**). Unfortunately, the Night’s King gets his paws on Bran and leaves a mark.
THE GOOD: When Bran asks the Three-Eyed Raven if he’s ready to become the next Three-Eyed Raven, and von Sydow coldly says “…No.”
THE BAD: Did Mr. Magical Tree Guy really not foresee any of this happening?
THE HUH?: …Or maybe he did. This is what happens when you play around with prophecy and time travel in your narrative—you get an uneasy mixture of predetermination and suspense that’s tough to pull off. So far Game of Thrones has walked that line pretty well, in that what’s happened hasn't felt completely predestined. Let’s hope that, despite the introduction of the magical tree-DeLorean into the story, the show continues to do so.

• • •

Uh, Jon, I know were in a fantasy world and everything, but your map has North pointing sideways.
"Uh, Jon, I know we're in a fantasy world and everything, but your map has North pointing sideways." HBO

And at Castle Black, Sansa proves herself a strategic leader AND a pretty deft seamstress. Ah, Game of Thrones, one step forward in progressive gender politics, one step back. I’m excited to get to know these smaller families of the North, though, particularly the Mormonts.
THE GOOD: Oh, Lady Brienne, just get over yourself already and get your world rocked by Tormund Giantsbane. The viewing public demands it.
THE BAD: Jon actually seems kind of sidelined here, a minor character in his own subplot.
THE HUH?: Is there really no one else Sansa can send to Riverrun other than Brienne? This seems like it’s asking for trouble.

• • •

The White Walkers first attempt at making smores goes horribly awry.
The White Walkers' first attempt at making s'mores goes horribly awry. HBO

Back in the cave under the tree, all hell breaks loose. THIS is the part of last night’s episode that everyone is talking about—and it was a doozy, easily the most impressive action setpiece the show’s done since the battle at Hardhome. I think some viewers are resistant to the zombie-war element of the story, but the groundwork was laid for this in the very first scene in the very first episode, so I don’t think those complaints are particularly insightful. And this was among the most intense and emotional sequences in the show’s entire run; the violence actually took a back seat to what was happening with the characters. In a show that exists on this scale, that’s difficult to pull off.
THE GOOD: As tragic as Hodor’s death was, the way the show laid this out was pretty remarkable. Unlike some other random deaths and stabbings, this particular demise was forecasted well in advance, and it had real heft when it happened. It’s sad, but it made for great storytelling. Also, it’s pretty evident now that every time Hodor said “Hodor,” there were actual words and sentences he was trying to speak but was physically unable. Idea for a Blu-ray special feature: Special Hodor subtitles!
THE BAD: Aw, Summer, they got you, dawg. I guess I always imagined that Bran was going to ride you like a pony by using the special saddle Tyrion made, and so I was therefore never quite sure why he made Hodor cart him around in a backpack like Chewbacca carried C-3PO in Empire. Still, you were a CGI character and you did basically nothing since we saw Bran first warg into you, so good job on getting people so bent out of shape about you kicking it! Plus, your name was Summer, and the whole show is about how WINTER IS COMING, so it’s pretty impressive you lasted as long as you did.
THE HUH?: Think we’ve seen the last of the Three-Eyed Raven? He evaporated in Bran’s vision, which doesn't necessarily mean he's dead, although presumably the wights and White Walkers got him in real life. The show can be maddeningly vague about things like this. Also, how did Meera seem to know the army of the undead was already outside?

• • •

The greatest door-holder Westeros has ever seen.
The greatest door-holder Westeros has ever seen. HBO

FINAL SUMMATION: As excellent an episode this was (and yes, it was really great), the good bits felt at times felt compressed by necessity. When you consider how slow the show has been in past seasons—not always, but the pace has definitely slackened on more than one occasion—this is maybe too bad, but it’s great that it’s being corrected now as the show rounds the track for the last couple of seasons. As I mentioned above, I think the absence of Bran and the whole Children of the Forest/Three Eyed Raven/White Walker plotline for a good chunk of the show’s run was the wrong choice. There’s so much here that could have been explained better if it had been given just a little more time. There’s also presumably a lot more that Bran has seen in his magic treevisions that we simply aren’t privy to. Like, that whole Lyanna tower thing was cut off pretty abruptly.

That said, the benefit to all of this is that Season Six is now galloping along at a breathlessly exciting clip. And there were tons of hugely effective things in this episode beyond Hodor’s departure—the origin of the White Walkers and Sansa’s confrontation of Littlefinger not least among them. In Seasons Four or Five, either one these would have been made the fulcrum of an entire episode. Now, they’re still significant, but the larger story’s shadow is being felt.

I’m now desperate to find out what happens next week, and I haven’t felt this level of urgency since around Season Three or so.


* Those crappy little three-minute mini-making-ofs that get tacked onto the end of each episode are NOT to be confused with the HBO post-show After the Thrones, which is a pretty great play-by-play analysis of Season Six’s individual episodes from podcasters Chris Ryan and Andy Greenwald. If you’re a big fan of the show but aren’t watching these chatty recaps, I highly recommend that you check them out on HBO Go/Now (or watch the latest installment as it airs tonight on HBO proper). These are two funny and insightful commentators, and they’re joined by Mallory Rubin and Jason Concepcion, the experts of the A Song of Ice and Fire books who were also part of Ryan and Greenwald's now-defunct “Watch the Thrones” podcast over at Grantland. (Since Grantland’s demise at the hands of ESPN, everything’s been more or less revived on the new Ringer network, in a series of events too complicated to explain here.) Last week and this week’s installments of Watch the Thrones showed that Ryan, Greenwald, Rubin, and Concepcion are now fully at ease with being in front of the camera—the banter is top drawer, and my initial fear that the show would be a fawning, bullshitty, 30-minute ad for Game of Thrones has been laid to rest. Ryan even called the Kingsmoot scene “weak sauce,” showing that these guys aren’t hamstrung by HBO in being critical of the show if it deserves it. Definitely check it out.

** Props to After the Thrones and Greenwald for the cable-box joke.


Read past recaps of Game of Thrones, Season Six!
• Episode One: "The Red Woman" Is a Tale of Three Corpses
• Episode Two: "Home" Is Where I Want to Be
• Episode Three: "Oathbreaker"—So Who Farted, Anyway?
• Episode Four: "Book of the Stranger" Contained Neither Books Nor Strangers