Thursday Dec 13

MUSIC--Perhaps the most manic and giddy night of music since Abba double-billed with the Stray Cats. Zero Zero, a former hardcore band that made the switcharoo to electronica, pumps out music something akin to a rubber band--elastic organ choruses with snappy reverbs. Joined by the neo-surf band, Man Or Astroman. This show just might be too much fun. PB

Berbati's, 231 SW Ankeny St, 248-4579, 9:30 pm, $12

HAIR--I'm sure Jesus was a great guy and all, but I sure do get sick of hearing about him at Christmas time. That's why this holiday performance, including dance, acting, text, etc., (performed by the Urban Bush Women) about the social significance of the hair of African American women, sounds like a fantastic alternative. Sure, performance art is always a little suspicious, but jesus christ, at least it's not about babies or god! KD

White Bird, at PSU/Lincoln Hall, SW Park & Market, 725-3307, Thurs-Sat 8 pm, $12-2

Friday Dec 14

AMAZING HIPHOP--Alone, the new record by Oldominion's Onry Ozzborn, is totally incredible, and the ephemeral production (by Onry and Pale Soul) puts him in the same innovative category as anyone from Oakland's Anticon collective! Don't miss the record release party, cause Onry is one of the best emcees in the Northwest, and maybe America. JS

Mt. Tabor Theater, 4811 SE Hawthorne, 238-1646

MUSIC--One of Portland's most artful and intriguing bands, Get Hustle makes music for midnight people. It's all about shady piano and organ ballads, accompanied by the darkest and most elegant screams. Plus, there'll be an art show on the walls by the interminable Brace Paine, entitled "8 1/2 by 11 = DICKXXX 5! 5! 5! 5!" JS

w/ Monitor Bats, Chromatics, Das Yellow Swans Joy, 3286 NE Killingsworth, 8 pm, $5, all ages

Saturday Dec 15

RAP--Laid-back and smooth as muthafuckin' ice, Warren G and Nate Dogg had a megahit in '94 with "Regulate." But it's in "This D.J." that G gives the best description of his music: "It's kind of easy when you're listening to the G-Dub sound/ Pioneer speakers bumpin' as I smoke on a pound / I got the sound for yo' ass and it's easy to see/ That this D.J. be Warren G." WSH

w/ Cool Nutz; Roseland, 8 NW 6th, 224-TIXX, 9 pm, $20

HOLY SONS!--Here are some adjectives to describe the Holy Sons: spooky, depressed, quiet and honest. They float along like a leaf on water, spiralling into a giant, dark whirlpool of melancholy. While dim, they're ghostly and pretty, and their new album is spectacular. Buy it today. KS

w/ The Planet The, the Long Winters Holy Sons CD Release, Blackbird, 3728 NE Sandy, 282-9949, $5

FILM--Cascadia Media Collective is a determined group of activists and documentary filmmakers. The result is A Year in the Streets: ground-level footage of protests/riots, and a compelling look at the genesis of a new generation of activists. PB

Clinton Street Theater, 2522 SE Clinton, 2, 4 pm, 238-8899, $6

Sunday Dec 16

MARCH/RALLY--In 1985, the cops dropped a bomb on a building in Philadelphia--murdering five children and five adults--because it housed MOVE, a group of mostly black, radical-yet-peaceful revolutionaries. Ramona Africa was one of only two who survived, and spent the next seven years of her life as a political prisoner. Tonight, she and Craig Rosebraugh speak out against the hypocrisy of US policies, and lead a rally against Bush's increasingly scary regime. JS

Portland State University, Smith Center Ballroom, 972-6764, rally begins at 11 am, march to Federal Building starts at 3 pm, free, all ages

MUSIC--Formerly of Braid, the members of Hey Mercedes are some emo kids who are all grown up. Musically speaking, this means they may not be quite as exciting, but they're more solid, more sophisticated, and have music with a lot of integrity. KD

w/ Saves the Day, Easy Target; Roseland, 8 NW 6th Ave, 224-TIXX, 9 pm, $13

Monday Dec 17

FILM--"Buzz, buzz, buzz" says the film-fest grapevine about the potential sleeper hit, The Business of Strangers. When a businesswoman on the rise (Stockard Channing) fears she's about to lose her job, she shit-cans her assistant (Julia Stiles). However, when the two run into each other in a hotel bar, they engage in an evil game of mind control with a corporate headhunter, who (poor sap) never even sees it coming. WSH

Cinema 21, 616 NW 21st, 223-4515, 7 & 8:45 pm, $6

Tuesday Dec 18

VINTAGE PORN--Remember when porn actually had some class... or at least, the women in the films didn't look like they we're being forced to fornicate at gunpoint? No, me neither. The Clinton Street, however, has put together a medley of oh-so-interesting Stag Films and porno from the '40s and earlier. The usually silent films will be accompanied by dir-tay 1930s recordings. Go, but don't jerk off in the theater, okay? KS

Clinton Street Theater, 2522 SE Clinton, 238-8899, 9 pm, $6

Wednesday Dec 19

FILM--The fllm you have been waiting for all year (if you're not a complete asshole, that is) opens today. I have been to the mountaintop and though sworn to secrecy, I can say that the fllm is edifying in the most unusual, unindulgent way. More than any other highly touted major studio epic this year, the film flouts the rules of engagement and makes you work for its rewards. I mean, yes, okay, it's a little bit digital, but Jesus, it's Lord of the Rings? You know you're going to go, if only to see the Balrog. Spoiler alert: the Balrog fucking rules! SN

See Film Times, pg 31