THURSDAY, MAY 16

READING--You gotta love literary agitator Camden Joy, if only for calling out snooty mainstream music writers for being so mundane (i.e., "I met The Strokes at an undisclosed hip NYC hangout; they were sipping on white wine and nibbling on fromage." TRÉS BORING!). Camden's fiction-boggling, situationist music writing is totally brilliant and unique--more reasons to adore the author of The Last Rock Star Book, Boy Island, and three new novellas. JS

Reading Frenzy, 921 SW Oak, 274-1449, 7 pm, free

BIKING--Here at the Mercury, we like to point out stuff that's just weird. Here's an example: Musicians on bikes riding from Bellingham, WA to Eugene, OR. Riders include pop-rock outfit bicycle, John Oszajca, The Trachtenburg Family Slide Show Players, and director and performance artist, Charles Herman-Wurmfeld. There's something for everyone, methinks. KS

Roseland Grill, 8 NW 6th, 219-9929, 9 pm, $7

FRIDAY, MAY 17

HIPHOP--So, you've seen local hiphop heroes Oldominion, and you loved them, but now you can see them with Bukue One, the fantastic emcee from Berkeley, who rhymes with clean and inspirational lyrics, without being too much of a cheesecake. KD

w/ Bukue One, Opus X, Systemwide vs. Oldominion; Berbati's, 231 SW Ankeny, 224-TIXX, 9 pm, $8-12

DANCE--It's Friday, and what better day to get your booty shaking to some jungle/dub deejaying. Tikiman's vocals dominate, with delay and effects engineered by Scion, and Vainqueur and Substance infusing soundsphere, groove, and stereo, creating a multi-layered, Reggae-tinged dance party. Try something new. Plus, you'll see people dancing at the Blackbird, and that's defintely something new. KS

Blackbird, 3728 NE Sandy, 282-9949, 9 pm, $7

SATURDAY, MAY 18

STREET FAIR--You can tell a lot about a community by the way they celebrate. And if you need proof, check out some of the events happening today at the Mississippi Street Fair: Fire-African dancing, skateboard tricks, tricycle race, hiphop from the Reparations, a barbecue "rib-off" contest, gospel music, a bug-petting exhibit, and a police dog demonstration. I don't know about you, but I am there. WSH

Mississippi Street Fair, on Mississippi between Fremont and Skidmore, 10 am to 4 pm, free

MUSIC--Crapped your pants lately? No? Then you haven't heard Hella, two boys from Sacto who bust in on the instrumental punk rock with guitar/drum virtuosity not seen in this town since... last time they were in town. Added bonus: the grizzly punk skree of East Coasters Ex-Models, who turn energetic mind-bashing into an art form. Best show this week? I think so. JS

w/The Seconds, The Formless; Blackbird, 3728 NE Sandy, 282-9949, 9 pm, $6

SUNDAY, MAY 19

PUG CRAWL--Everyone knows that Pugs are the greatest dogs on the planet, but few people know the history of these little heroes. From their stint with Chinese Emperors, to the time spent snoring on the laps of the British Royal Family, Pugs have always been royalty! Come celebrate their wonder in the second annual Portland Pug Crawl, complete with Pug costume contests, a Pug Kissing Booth, and food and beer for the humans. Remember, if it ain't a Pug, it ain't shit! EAC

Rogue Ales Public House, 1339 NW Flanders, 2-6 pm, $10 per adult

PROTO-GRUNGE--Even though there would have been no Nirvana and no Mudhoney without the Melvins, the band deserves their respect for staying true to their anti-pop sensibilities and not bothering to get off the sofa for the Sub-Pop explosion a decade ago. Still incomprehensible and murky. PB

Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W. Burnside, 224-TIXX, 9 pm, $14

MONDAY, MAY 20

MOVIE--If you like blood-flooded flicks where it's always night, and trash bags o' body parts lurk around every corner, get thee to the cinema for Tell Me Something, a thick-plotted thriller straight outta Korea. MS

Clinton Street Theater, 2522 SE Clinton, 238-5588, 7 pm & 9:20 pm, $6

TUESDAY, MAY 21

GROADIES--This should be a night of very good music, at my favorite underground venue, Disjecta. Among other bands, JonnyX and the Groadies' blend of deathcore metal and moving performances will rock your socks off. KD

w/Get Hustle, Orthrelm, Dude, Yellow Swans; Disjecta, 116 NE Russell, 335-6979, 8pm, $4

WEDNESDAY, MAY 22

MUSIC--Even though she had a song on The Next Best Thing soundtrack, Beth Orton has still preserved her moody, drippy voice which cannot be made cheerful, even with the addition of more upbeat, trippy beats. Depressing and dark, just how I like it. KD

Aladdin, 3017 SE Milwaukie, 224-4400, 8 pm, $13.50