THURSDAY, May 22

MUSIC--And I use that term loosely. Scenester darlings the Blood Brothers are back in town, ripping your eardrums out with their glammy nu-metal short song assaults. Akimbo runs the gamut from emotional rock to metal riffage, The Horde marries the sound of Rocket from the Crypt to Botch, and Samus Aran is Portland's own power violence superstars. Not too shabby. KS
Meow Meow, 527 SE Pine, 1-800-325-SEAT, 8 pm, $8

FRIDAY, May 23

BEER, BLOOD, BANDS--This benefit blow out (including mathy metalheads The Merrick Foundation, the screaming hardcore of Quarry to the War, Naked Violence, Hellside Stranglers, Bastinado, and Seventh Circle) is to raise money for Lucky's Tavern. And while it sounds hella fun, whatever happened to benefits for...say...cancer? KS
Tonic Lounge, 3100 NE Sandy, 238-0543, 8:30 pm, $5

TRIBUTE--From gritty outlaw to silver-voiced romantic troubadour, Willie Nelson is one of the greatest singers in any genre EVER!! It is only fitting that it takes 18 musical acts, including Fernando and Little Sue, to pay appropriate tribute. PB
Fez Ballroom, 316 SW 11th, 234-6965, 9:30 pm, $10

BOOBIE ART!--Hey! Look everybody! BOOBIES! And they're ARTSY boobies too, because it's the 2 Gyrlz Boobie Auction in which boobie-centric works of art by artists both local and global (get it? "Global?"), are being auctioned off. There's even a "nipple printing station!" Yay, boobies, yay! WSH
The Planet Gallery, 2503 NE Killingsworth, 8 pm, auction begins at 9:30, free

SATURDAY, May 24

DEATH IN THE CAGE--So PUMA (the Portland United Messenger Association) is staging an entire WEEKEND of fun bike-related events, with today's "Axles of Evil 'Death in the Cage' Bike Polo Tournament" possibly being the most fun event of all. A recipe for bloody, exhilarating chaos! JWS
Alberta Park, NE 20th & Killingsworth, see portlandmessenger.org for complete schedule of events, 5 pm, free

MUSIC--Look at all the indie rock acts lined up for this year's Sasquatch! Music Fest at the Gorge. There's Coldplay, The Flaming Lips, Jurassic 5, Modest Mouse, Neko Case, Death Cab for Cutie, Liz Phair... and so much more! It's like an indie-nerd wet dream! WSH
Gorge Amphitheater, 224-4400, directions and more info at www.hob.com/ sasquatch, gates open at 11 am, $49.95

PDXPUNK--Defiance have been cutting a widespread reputation for hardcore, activist music for like a decade. Check the local stalwarts, and the accompanying fashion parade that earned Portland its "little London" nickname. MS
Paris Theatre, 6 SW 3rd, 224-8313, 7 pm, $8

SUNDAY, May 25

MUSIC--Not quite alt-country, not quite Americana, but definitely 100% rock 'n' roll, My Morning Jacket switches up soaring twang-distortion ballads with quiet little pluck jingles. It's a neat sound spectrum that covers all the bases. And you know how you like to cover all the bases, eh? Eh? JWS
w/Detachment Kit, Dolorean; Dante's, 1 SW 3rd, 226-6630, 8:30 pm, $10

MONDAY, May 26

MUSIC--In her first Portland performance since Swans' final tour in '97, The Living Jarboe returns to compel with her stage presence and volatile, beautiful voice. Learn the true meaning of the term "transfixed." JS
w/Vanishing Kids; Blackbird, 3728 NE Sandy, 282-9949, 9 pm, $8

MUSIC--Listening to the Jefferson High School Choir is a metaphysical experience: Ethereal chants, soaring melodies, and hard-hitting hiphop. It is music that stirs the soul, taps the toes, and clears the cobwebs from the head. And, oh yeah, Pink Martini will be here as well, at this student recital for the Ethos Multicultural Music Center. PB
Ethos, 5308 N Commercial, 283-8467, 1 pm, free

TUESDAY, May 27

CORPSES--Bless those cadavers; they've been behind some of mankind's boldest and strangest discoveries. Peel back the rotting flesh and find a cornucopia of insight and intrigue. Tonight, awesome speaker, Mary Roach, presents her new book about the illustrious history of cadaver research, Stiff: The Curious Life of Human Cadavers. JWS
Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, 228-4651, 7:30 pm, free

WEDNESDAY, May 28

MUSIC--You know and love him. DJ Gregarious, famous for Friday '80s nights, got a whole new bag. He'll DJ/host Kicksville, featuring a different live band every week (Cute Don't Cut It plays tonight). Plus, the new Kelly's crew'll charm yer pants off. MS
Kelly's Olympian, 426 SW Washington, 228-3669, 9 pm, $2