DJ--I like things that are free. Examples: long walks in the park, making fun of people, petting my cat, and oh, Britpop Invasion night starring DJ Catalyst. This brainy music guy spins everything from Britpop (Blur, Pulp) to new wave (Devo) to a slew of indie and electronic. So c'mon down and enjoy the free spoils of the gigantic, revamped Bossanova, you spendthrift, you. KS
Bossanova, 722 E Burnside, 9 pm, FREE!!!

MUSTACHES--Do you have a Tom Selleck fetish like my mother does? Then hit up Project Mustache! Contestants from around the city have raised pledges in their drive to grow the bushiest, sexiest, creepiest mustache imaginable. Tonight, prizes will be awarded, the Foghorn Stringband will play, and proceeds will go towards Inclusion, Inc. , a nonprofit for adults with developmental disabilities. JWS
Moon & Sixpence, 2014 NE 42nd, 6 pm registration, 8 pm judging; must raise $25 in pledges to compete


WHAZZUP?!--Relive the glorious days of yesteryear, when comedian Martin Lawrence wasn't that nut-bag running down the street in his underwear. That's right, it's the Clinton Street/Mercury Cult Fridays film series presentation of Lawrence's comedy concert film You So Crazy! Cheap beer and big laughs from one of the funniest stand-up acts of the early '90s. WSH
Clinton Street Theater, 2522 SE Clinton, 10 pm, $6

SEXY '70S--The super fun entertainment collective Kaosmosis is at it again with a night of "lo-fi, sci-fi, nu-wave rock & roll" called Spirit of '79! Work that pogo with a tribute to 1979-era Cars and Cheap Trick from Telephone and Dream Police Car, plus performances by Stereovision, Solovox and guest DJs. Bring some extra sweat! WSH
Bossanova, 722 E Burnside, 9 pm, $7-9 sliding scale

MENAGE A TROIS--Three of the city's most beloved, under-recognized pop bands get all sticky-icky tonight in celebration of the births of their respective new records--The Kingdom's Unitas, a self-titled release by Invisible, and the latest from Point Juncture, WA. And you get to watch! ZP
Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $7


PARTY--The most heinously crunk debauchery in town, Suicide Club, happens at notorious party haven Dunes, under the tutelage of mutant dance punk aficionado DJ Nightschool. Some crazy kids even got raw on the dance floor last New Year's. It's practically an institution now, but the rep is deserved. Tonight, the Chromatics join for a live set. EJ
Dunes, 1905 NE MLK, free until 11 pm, then $2

MUSIC--The latest downtown all-ages concert spot has taken its name to new levels of grossness: Food Hole. Nevertheless, the kids can't get enough of this orifice, which instead of edible treats serves up local music, like tonight's performance from party-pooped rockers Wet Confetti. MS
w/After Life, Fact or Fiction; Food Hole, 20 NW 3rd, 8 pm, $5, All Ages


MUSIC--Scout Niblett plays music that is most comfortably described as "grungy"--a descriptor I'd say to her face, considering that she's been known to toss an occasional Nirvana b-side into her set. She's also one of the most captivating solo performers at work today--something I'm not as comfortable saying to her face. ZP
w/Get Hustle, Afrirampo; Berbati's Pan, 10 SW 3rd, 9:30 pm, $7


BREAKING THE LAW--What better way to celebrate America's independence than with Judas Priest, the original leather-and-chrome metal band from England? Still angry and still furious 30 years after their debut! Plus! Are you kidding us!? Queensryche! Ohhh, say can you seeeeee! PB
Clark County Amphitheater, Battle Ground, Wash (Exit 9 off I-5), 7 pm, $25-49

THE PERFECT COMBO--I wish I had a quarter for every time I've said, "Metal hardcore is great and all, but what would really make it awesome is if I could listen to it while eating vegan chili!" Well, tonight my prayers are answered as hardcore rockers Johnny X and the Groadies throw their ninth anniversary party--and along with the music, there'll be dancing and costumes, veggie barbeque grills, and a vegan chili cookoff! FINALLY! EH
Loveland, 320 SE 2nd, 8 pm, $5


THRASH--No better place to do so than Sabala's reputable rock venue, and no better time than tonight, when the finals of the Vans Warped Tour Battle of the Bands take center stage. Mercury staffer Katie Shimer and other judges will select from a slew of rockin' local bands, with the winner going on to play in the Warped Tour, July 10th, at Columbia Meadows! JWS
Sabala's Mt. Tabor, 4811 SE Hawthorne, 9 pm, $5 (preliminary rounds happen Sun-Mon 5 pm-midnight)


MUSIC--Curated this month by Jay Bozich (alternately known as DJ King Fader and Brother Jay), the fourth installment of Housewarming--a free monthly event at Berbati's that asks local luminaries to cull together a local line-up as they see fit--features the illustrious talents of Auditory Sculpture, Kaitlyn Ni Donovan, A/V Club, and Broken Flow. Did I mention it's free? ZP
Berbati's Pan, 10 SW 3rd, 9:30 pm, free