This July 4, skip the baking soda and vinegar, and don't bother throwing a watermelon off the Burnside Bridge onto the street below. They'll disappoint you—trust us, we know, because we tried both and they were as interesting as listening to KBOO... that is, compared to this incredible Sprite bottle/dry ice explosion we hereby ORDER, yes, ORDER you to re-create at home. Without parental supervision. Or lawyers.*

"Blowing up a Sprite bottle, huh?" asked the manager in charge of the padlocks on the dry ice chest at Fred Meyer in Hollywood, as he opened it to let us in. "Be sure to throw little bits of scrunched-up tinfoil in there for shrapnel."

Nice. Next, take your dry ice and Sprite bottle to an open space with no children around. Like, for example, a middle school playing field, with loads of kids on it.

If you work at an alternative newspaper, be sure to reassure your editor before trying this that under no circumstances will you do it around any kids. This will make him less nervous. Then, when the kids ask what you're doing, tell them it's highly dangerous and involves an explosion, because all kids become less curious when you tell them that, and then, they usually walk away. Try not to worry if they don't. Just get on with it... and cross your fingers.

Crumble about four cubic inches of dry ice into the Sprite bottle, set an American flag on the top, then pour in 500 milliliters of water, screw the lid on tight, and retreat at least 20 feet. Under no circumstances should you re-approach the bottle if it doesn't explode, nor should the kids. Not like we did, twice, before getting the proportions right. Because when the bottle does explode, the noise is like a shotgun going off and the force of the blast is pretty fearsome. Afterward, run.

Support The Portland Mercury

Check out this awesome accompanying video:

* The Mercury cannot be held responsible for any injury associated with this admittedly stupid stunt.