MUSIC--Isn't it sad that one of Portland's longest-running guitar-pop outfits plays here so rarely? Support the rocket-powered capers of Poolside (formerly Sidecar) in one of their infrequent hometown gigs. JS
Meow Meow, 527 SE Pine, 230-2111, 9 pm, $5


THE WU--Ol' Dirty Bastard perhaps puts it best: "We're [Wu-Tang] comin' off with the crazy nigga shit that can't nobody touch." Catch Ol' Dirty Bastard and his eight childhood friends keepin' it raw. KD
Roseland Theater, Burnside and SW 6th, 219-9929, 9 pm, $35

GAMESHOW--Tonight the Portland Mercury and Bar Fly present Date War 2000, where singles of all accepted sexual persuasions team up to answer mind-boggling trivia and participate in partially grueling tests of physical skill. Hilarity will ensue, along with prizes for both contestants and audience members. Tunes by DJ Gregarious! A guaranteed hoot! AR

Date War 2000, Cobalt Lounge, 32 NW 3rd Ave, 225-1003, Doors open at 10 pm, $3



COOL CARS--The rules are simple probably because so are the participants: Whichever car is running last is the winner. The 132nd Clark County Fair hosts a demolition derby, a donut-eating contest and stunts by common barnyard animals. PB
Clark County Fair Ground, Exit 9 off I-5/west on 179th, (360)397-6180, shows at 2 pm & 7:30 pm, $7 admittance to Fair



RHYTHM--Hungry for knowledge? Me, too--Cee Knowledge and the Cosmic Funk Arkestra, that is. Cee Knowledge--aka Digable Planets' Doodlebug--slips his modest and insightful lyrics out onto the Arkestra's soapy beats. JS
Berbati's Pan, 231 SW Ankeny, 248-4579, 9 pm, $8

SWEET, SWEET SOUL--One of the seminal funk/jazz groups of the '70s, Earth, Wind and Fire spreads their universal message of peace, love, and booty-shaking at Portland Meadows. 20 years and still cookin'! WSH
Portland Meadows, 1001 N Schmeer, 7 pm, $42.50/$32.50 reserved, $22.50 bleachers

PURR--He's got funk, sex appeal and the dead-on buttery grooves of a young Prince chilling in a sauna for a few hours. Drive your Marauder to the D'Angelo show tonight and don't forget your condoms. Yow! JS Schnitzer Concert Hall, SW Broadway & SW Main, 248-4335, 8 pm, $30-$36.50


READING--He's a big damn grouch and he thinks your band is awful. He also writes sensitive fiction about love, music, and maturation. Tonight, Mercury contributor-critic Jamie S. Rich reads from his first novel, Cut My Hair. JS
Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, 228-4651, 7:30 pm, free


Long before the hokey pokey, long before couples' skate and disco balls and those infernal in-line things, there was Oaks Park, one of the original roller skating rinks in the country. With strategically-placed dips in the surface, the skating here is not your cliche round-and-round, but has a bit of up-and-down thrown in. Live pipe organ music! PB
Oaks Amusement Park, east of the Sellwood Bridge, 236-5722, open Tues--Sat 1--5 pm, $4 (includes skates)



--Matthew Dennison presents his latest paintings, Mapping of Shaped Hully--tender images of surreal places and people, often accompanied by enigmatic words which describe these places. KD
Froelick Adelhart Gallery, 817 SW Second Ave, Tuesday-Friday 11-6, Saturday 10-5