April 05

RAP--If for no other reason, you should see the Buttery Lords because they're completely not afraid to look, well, really stupid. But mostly, they look hilarious and entertaining--a bunch of rappers who are fluorescent white, and not afraid to admit it. KD

w/House of Cunt, Medicine Hat, 1834 NE Alberta St, 9:30 pm, 778-7700

CHOW FOR ZINES--Copies don't come cheap, so zine makers are perhaps the hungriest of us all. Share your zine and ramen (or ambrosia) with like-minded publishers at the IPRC Zine Potluck! Also featuring a speech by lawyer Peter Vaughn Shaver, hopefully telling us how to maneuver through copyright loopholes. JS

Independent Publishing Resource Center, 917 SW Oak #218, 827-0249, 7 pm, bring food

April 06

MUSIC--Your Darling Buds and Primitives cassettes have finally worn through--what are you going to do now? You're going to see Fonda, of course--a band that evokes lotus-scented vocals and dreamy sunset guitars, but with the soft-pop boldness of the impending (umm) Sarah Records revival. Hey, Boyracer reunited and ex-Field Micers Trembling Blue Stars are touring the U.S., so why not?! JS

w/ Corrina Repp, Christine Darling, Meow Meow, 527 SE Pine, 230-2111, 9 pm, $6, all ages

SPELLING BEE--After months of breathless anticipation, it's finally here: the Mercury - Hormel Chili All-Adult Spelling Bee! Thrill as 20 or so adults (some of them drunken) struggle to spell fascinatingly difficult words to win a ton of fabulous prizes! Shake your dirty ass with musical entertainment from The Drove! And laugh piteously at the Mercury's hapless attempts at comedy. If you miss this one, it will be truly "unfortuitous"! WSH

Conan's Pub, 3862 SE Hawthorne, 234-7474, 9 pm, $3 or free with completed personal ad

April 07

FILM--More superviolent fun with Japanese director Kinji Fukasaku and his film Wolves, Pigs and People: a supercool tale of dishonor among three crooked brothers. The youngest heads a gang of teens whose idea of a good time is to "rob a citizen hear some cool jazz." Circle your calendar. MM

Guild Theatre, SW 9th & Taylor, 221-1156, 7 pm, $6.50

FESTIVAL--A tip of the hat to Mayor Vera Katz for declaring today City-Wide Benicio Del Toro Day in Portland. There will be a variety of Del Toro-inspired activities, including Regal Cinemas showing special viewings of Traffic, local video stores offering to rent many of his fine movies to the public, and a Benicio Del Toro "Mumbling" contest sponsored by the Beaverton Hills Retirement Home. So what are you waiting for? Let's Party!! WSH

City-Wide Benicio Del Toro Day, Everywhere!, Free

April 08

MUSIC--I know you aren't doing anything today, so there is absolutely NO EXCUSE to miss San Diego's amazing Tourettes Lautrec. With dissonant, circus/cabaret-type guitars, plus shearing, ringing, beautifully pissy female vocals, the whole rest of your life will seem unfulfilled if you don't go. Seriously. Missing their show is a surefire path to midlife crisis. JS

w/The Locust, Blood Brothers, Meow Meow, 527 SE Pine, 230-2111, $6, all ages

April 09

FILM--Sultry and Brazilian go together like T & A. Set in the bucolic Brazilian countryside, Me You Them follows Darlene as she effortlessly and endearingly charms the pants off every man she meets. Taking on the role of wife, lover, and mother--each with a different man--Darlene, played by the buxom bombshell Regina Case, re-draws the old notion of a love triangle. PB

Cinema 21, 616 NW 21st Ave, 223-4515, 7, 9:15 pm, $6

April 10

FUTURE--Don your uniform of sweatbands and Reeboks: The keyboard workout of Space Ballerinas and the subversive sensuality of Tracy & the Plastics are going to work you into futuristic, aerobic ecstasy. (See pg 15 for elaboration!) JS

Meow Meow, 527 SE Pine, 230-2111, 9 pm, $6, all ages

April 11

ART--Have you ever been to Disjecta? The space itself has got to be the coolest gallery in town. Not to mention the show: Devin Crowe walks the line between abstract imagery and abstract simplicity. KD

Electroshock Variations: New and Collected Paintings by Devin Crowe.

Disjecta, 116 NE Russell, Wed-Sun from 12-7 pm, donations recommended

THEATER--There is no better confessional booth than the local pub and no better voyeuristic humor than watching a group of horny, lonely, and superstitious men confess. Set in a rural Irish pub, The Weir has been lauded as the best stage show to come out of the British Isles since the Spice Girls. PB

Artists Repertory Theatre, 1516 SW Alder, 241-1ART, plays Wednesday-Sunday, 7 pm, $15-$22