READING--Do you know who Ehud Havazelet is? Didn't think so. He's only one of the best short story writers in the world, and he lives in Corvallis, Oregon. He's one of those writers who gets his ideas in your head, like how weird it is when family members are defined more by cultural difference than nuclear relationships. At least that's weird to me. KD

Portland State University, Smith Center, 1825 SW Broadway, 725-5666, 8 pm, $5-$8, students free


MUSIC--Like a gentle sienna in a realist painting, Retsin's Americana pop rolls out vast and breezily contemplative. Ex-Beekeeper Karla Schickele's K. is soft as the white tips of dandelions, and Rollerball storms out the drought with piano, bass, and devil-raising. JS

Cobalt Lounge, 32 NW 3rd, 224-TIXX, 9:30pm, $8

VIDEO GAMES--Yahooie! It's "New Wave Nite" at Ground Kontrol, Portland's hotspot for the coolest in classic video games! And tonight (get this) it's only FIVE measly smackers for UNLIMITED game-play between 7 and midnight! Plus, DJ Heavyfoot will be on hand spinning hits from the '80s (a sure "Cure" for your Asteroids problem)! WSH

Ground Kontrol, 610 SW 12th, 796-9364, 7-Midnight, $5


BAZAAR--Ahhhhh...ain't nothin' more relaxing than strolling on a sunny day with your patootie, and supporting the under employed local artists by purchasing their wares. What's even better, is that the Hand-Made Bazaar is all in one place, and will feature food, fun, and local musical acts such as Shemo, Windy Fingers, Culottes, and Machine That Flashes. Whether you're buying, selling, or trading, get the love of your life that dreamcatcher he/she has always wanted! WSH

Hand-Made Bazaar, 5742 NE Mallory, 11 am, Free

THEATER--The setting for both one-act plays is a seedy hotel room--the backdrop of so many rollicking theatrics. With a rock-em-sock-em fight scene, filming of porn videos, and a transparent negligée, Suburban Motel, Part III and IV (Featuring Loretta and Risk Everything) are R-plus-rated laugh-a-minute sitcoms. PB

Stark Raving Theater, 3430 SE Belmont, Thurs-Sat 7:30 pm, Sun 4 pm, $8-17


BRIDGE-JUMPING--Just down the road from Escatada, a small bridge spans twenty feet above the Clackamas River. Better than the community pool's high dive, Huck Finn couldn't ask for a better way to jump-start summer! Sure, the water is still heart-stopping cold, and water levels unseasonably low; just look before you leap. Nearby is a casual beach and a smoky tavern with cheap beer and greasy burgers. PB

From Exit 12 (Estacada) off I-205 follow Hwy 224 for 3.4 miles, 1.1 miles after Hwy 224 splits from Hwy 212, bear right and cross bridge.

MUSIC--I'm a person who usually thinks of jazz as a bunch of old classy guys, sitting around making music that sounds cool, but that my parents might listen to. See? I don't know anything about jazz. Well, okay, so Tortoise isn't really jazz at all, but lots of music stores think it is, and anyway, they sound awesome to me, the dummy. Their sound is terse, passionate, and crunchy, and I know it's cliché, but it's fucking beautiful. KD

Roseland, 8 NW 6th Ave, 224-TIXX, 7:00, $13


CLUBBING--If you think Portland's club scene is a fright, check out some real NYC-style entertainment. Big Apple luminaries Jackie 60 will present two different nights of gender-bending cabaret style performances that's sure to knock you on your sweet and juicy! See Up & Coming for more details, page 19.

W/Joey Arias, Dante's, 1 SW Third, 226-6630, Monday-Tuesday 8:30 for Joey, Jackie 60 @ 10 pm, $15


MUSIC--Euphone cures a bad mood, like finding a twenty-spot in an old jacket. Their particular brand of "new-jazz" indie rock is contented and professional and downright fun. Playing along with The Lonesome Organist and one of Portland's most talented bands The Plan The. See Music Pg 15. KS

Satyricon, 125 NW 6th, 224-TIXX, 9:30, $8


ZINE SYMPOSIUM BENEFIT--Forbes recently reported that Portland is one of the worst US cities for singles. So what are all the lonely people up to? Creating zines on Alfa Romeos and amateur wrestling, that's what. In July, Portland will host a blockbuster zine symposium. But to do so, the host, local Microcosm Publishing needs cash. Go, buy a cookie, and support the arts. KS

Red & Black Café, 2138 SE Division, 231-3899, 8 pm, $3-5 donation