BRITISH IDM--Listening to the music of Plaid is to enter the fluorescent-lit foyer of poignancy, mystery, and drama--water-like beats, haunting bells, and echoing "peeps" and "mrrps" like frozen atoms in a vacuum. You won't have to dance, cause your neurons will be doing it for you. JS

w/ Squarepusher and Mira Calix, B Complex, 320 SE 2nd, 235-4424, 9 PM, $14

BELLY DANCING BENEFIT--Boy! Hawthorne people really hate McDonald's! And they're proving it with a benefit dinner and belly dancing at the Casablanca Moroccan Restaurant. Proceeds go toward stopping the construction of a McDonald's on 34th and Hawthorne, and telling Ronald to shove a Big Mac up his ass. WSH

Casablanca Moroccan Restaurant, 2221 SE Hawthorne, 239-7458, 7:30 pm, $50 advance, $60 at the door


GUERRILLA—Here’s a freakin’ cool as hell concept… The Clinton Street Theatre, along with The Tiny Super 8 Club and Portland Cacophony Society, will show a FREE mystery movie, and if I know this group of crazy theater geeks, it’ll be a mystery movie that’s
about something really weird. KD

Clinton Street Theater, 1115 SE Belmont, 9:30 pm, free


ARTY PARTY-- Portland organizes so well outside of bureaucratic channels; the Alphabet Dress is a perfect example. Five artists (Carson Ellis, Levi Hanes, Ahren Lutz, Charlie Smyth, Zefrey Throwell), four kickass bands (Nudge, 31 Knots, Project Perfect, Avenue of the Strongest), and of course a fire-breather. It's the coolest rooftop party ever, it's free, and you can even afford the art. KS

The Oak Street Bldg., 425 SE Oak St., 5 pm, free

CABARET--Circus folk and bathing beauties take center stage in tonight's cutey-patootie cabaret called "A Frolic By the Sea." Chanteuse Suzanne "Kitten on the Keys" Ramsey entertains along with The Cantankerous Lollies; a troupe of dancers led by a hula-hoop contortionist! Sword swallowers, knife throwers, and Dame Darcy will also be on hand, as well as our own Kitty Diggins in a "live mermaid show" that includes "pirates, sea chanteys, and a bevy of bathing beauties." Arrive in an old-fashioned bathing suit and take three bucks off the price of admission! WSH

Dante's, 1 SW 3rd, 226-6630, 10:30 pm, $8 (or $5 in Grandma's swimming trunks)


FILM--Dear Penthouse: I never thought this would happen to me, but this weekend I watched Erotic Tales 4 (six sexy shorts) with my tall, blonde, totally stacked twin sister, and we ended up making out. Turns out, her fake boobs feel exactly the same as my fake boobs. I can't wait to include some men in our afternoon balloon toss. KS

NW Film Center at Whitsell Auditorium, 1219 SW Park, 221-1156, 7:30 pm, $6.50


C&W--If you like your country and western twang infused with pop, blues, and jazz, it's high time to check out the real thing: Merle Haggard. With a voice as craggy as his face, Haggard's history as a boozing C&W maverick and ex-convict lends his music a one-of-a-kind vision that those other tight-pants wearing Nashville hacks can't even touch. Though he's most famous for 1969's "Okie from Muskogee," his newer works are more thoughtful and scraggly than ever. You wanna get with a real man? Merle's your answer. WSH

Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, 225-5555 x8811, 8 pm, $35 advance, $40 door


TRIVIA--So you think yer smart, do ya? Then bring a team down to test your wits at Beulahland's Tuesday Night Trivia. You may even go up against Sam Coomes (current champ of the Mercury Music Trivia Challenge, and Trivia Night frequenter). Officially there are no rules, but PLEASE don't shout the answers, because that's stupid. AB

Beulahland, 118 NE 28th, 235-2794, 9 pm, free


MUSIC--Chicago's 90 Day Men, with their guitars and half-mast vocals, have had their hearts blackened, dampened, distorted, and drowned. How else could they make such dark and grumbling music, that never quite gives way to an unrepentant prettiness? JS w/ The Standard and Glacier Park

Blackbird, 3728 NE Sandy, 282-9949, $6

RAWK--They're called "noise rock," but Zeni Geva seems to have some method to their madness. The metal guitars shift up and down in drift-like order worthy of head-banging. If you like the heavy shit--these Japanese mo-fos totally rule! If you think you might not be able to handle it, bring some freaking earplugs and prepare to rock. KS

w/ The Heavy Johnson Trio and KK Knoll,
Satyricon, 125 NW 6th, 243-2380, 9 pm