THURSDAY, October 31

HAUNTED HOUSE--This Halloween, between all that candy and carving, leave a little time to get your pants scared off! The annual Harkness Haunted House is back. This year, a musty old art gallery will be turned into a roadside attraction of the damned, complete with ghost experts and "supernatural artifacts"! Sceery!

Medicine Hat Gallery, 1834 NE Alberta, 282-4083, 6-11 pm (also Fri-Sat same times), $6

COVERS--When you see cover bands, you already know the songs, so if they botch them, you can mock the band for not writing their own music, or for being drunk and stupid--either way you come off looking cool. Plus, you can dress up like a diehard fan of your favorite: Led Zep or The Misfits. MS

Blackbird, 3728 NE Sandy, 282-9949, 9 pm, Free

KLINGONS--We all know I'm no friend to the nerds. The only nerds I show respect to are Klingon nerds. Because they will KICK MY ASS. Have some Halloween ass-kicking fun with Stovokor, the earth's only Klingon heavy metal band. Sung in their mother tongue, Stovokor is vocally and musically rough enough to rip you a new klath'nu. WSH

w/Witch Mountain, Eternal Elisium, Theory of Ruin, Ash Street, 225 SW Ash St, 226-0430, 9 pm, $6

FRIDAY, November 1

MUSIC--Like a Salvador Dali painting, The Residents are oddly familiar yet completely out of context. Techno-goth-pop? Obscure freak show or keen stage performers? Cheerful bluesy chants? Three decades after inadvertently launching a musical career, their identities still remain obscure. Take that Gene Simmons! PB

Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, 224-4400, 8 pm, $25

LOUD-MOUTHED FAG--Who else would deserve such a title? Dan Savage, of course. And here is one of those rare opportunities to see him shooting off that opinionated, faggy, hilarious yap of his, live. Reading from his new book, Skipping Towards Gomorrah, Savage takes on all manner of the religious and political right, helping you become the best sinner you can possibly be. WSH

Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, 228-4651, 7:30 pm, free

SATURDAY, November 2

MOVIE STAR--Probably the most popular low-budget film actor to ever grace God's green earth, Bruce Campbell (Evil Dead, Army of Darkness), will be zipping through town to introduce a sneak preview of his new film, Buba Ho-Tep. Sources are very hush-hush on what the new movie is all about. All we know is that ol' Bruce plays a 65-year old Elvis impersonator who discovers that an ancient Egyptian mummy has risen from the dead to kill him! JWS

Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, 281-4215, 9 pm, $10

ZIGZAG--Where DJ Zigzag goes, the b-boys go. So if you're a fan of mainstream hiphop mixes, plus breakdancing, check out the cuts from Zigzag's assembled crew--the Mighty Juggernaut, DJ Reckless, DJ George, DJ Matrok, and Freeze. This is what I call a Saturday night! KS

Berbati's, 231 SW Ankeny, 224-TIXX, 9 pm, $10

SUNDAY, November 3

MUSIC--Badly Drawn Boy, aka Damon Gough, writes quirky, magical pop songs that sparkle with a barefoot-in-the-park sort of charm. Sometimes with electronics, sometimes with a little orchestra, and sometimes assisted only with a guitar, the earnest, raw-voiced songwriter can get away with being so frigging precious of course, because he's British. JS

Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie, 224-4400, 7 pm, $15-17

MONDAY, November 4

FILM--The French police bluntly described the double homicide as "inhuman ferocity." But director Jean-Pierre Denis tenderly takes on the story of the Papin sisters--two chambermaids, who in 1933, murdered their employer and her daughter--in Murderous Maids. It really is impossible to find good help! PB

Clinton Street, 2522 SE Clinton, 238-8899, 7 & 9 pm, $6

TUESDAY, November 5

MUSIC--So when you listen to SF's Deerhoof, who are hands down one of the best bands on the West Coast, you're like, "Um, is this crazy Japanese pop music, or crazy drum improv music, or a big, smeared mess of cute and hooky art-punk that coddles the heart yet placates the vandal in us all?" Then you faint with joy and elation. JS w/The Planet The, Steve Gigante, MomeRaths; Blackbird, 3728 NE Sandy, 282-9949, 9 pm, $TK

WEDNESDAY, November 6

CAPITOL CUTIES--Have a seat and take a breath. Okay, are you ready? D.C.'s charismatic quartet, Dismemberment Plan--who wrap their influences (go-go, hiphop, punk rock, and soul) in a conversational, rhythmic rock package--IS BACK. LADIES! LADIES! Like the Commodores say, SIMMER DOWN! JS w/Engine Down, The Thermals; Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, 281-4215, 9 pm, $8 (adv tickets at Hollywood & Blackbird)

DIY--With serendipitous timing, here comes another DIY flyer show! This one fills in some complimentary holes left out by the PNCA exhibit. For instance: the present! Turn-of-the-century artists include Gabriel Mindel, Chris Larson, Nate Batkiss, y mucho más. Plus, there's a space available for visitors to add their own! MS

Disjecta, 116 NE Russell, 335-6979, 7 pm, free