WORKERS' RIGHTS--For the past few years, May Day in Portland has been a hodgepodge of gripes and signs, from "Free Palestine" to "Stop Corporate Greed." But this year, it looks like May Day will return to its original intent: A day for the labor unions! Even if you are unemployed, you're still invited! PB
SW Couch & Park, for more info contact Local 247 of the Carpenters Union, 288-9632, speeches begin at 2 pm, march at 4:30 pm

MUSIC--The Dirty Three make a hell of a lot of noise for just drums, guitar, and a violin, with songs that mourn and celebrate simultaneously. Warren Ellis' violin creates, to steal a phrase from Wallace Shawn, "a deep rooted orgasm squeezed into a rope of sound." MWH
w/Three Leg Torso, Nate Denver's Neck; Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W. Burnside, 225-5555 ext. 8811, 9 pm, $14


DIORAMAS--Or: Art in a box. Talented Portland artists take us back to the days of elementary school, when surrounding any project with cardboard guaranteed at least a B+. Jessica Kelso mixes journal entries with nautical images; Eva Haase presents quilted photographs; Tracy Timmins constructs breast and butt molds. Yup. Sounds like elementary school. JWS
Hall Gallery, 630 SE Third, 570-2290, 12-5 pm through June 1st

KRAUT DANCE--Ready to shake it down to a whole new kraut/punk beat? Then get ready to move with the Zeigenbock Kopf Dance Party! Pulsating, ear-drum blowing rhythms meet Sprockety-electronic porno low-fi, for a sweaty evening of macabre dirty ass fun. WSH
Million, 116 NE Russell, 335-6979, 9 pm, free


HIPHOP--His sharp, political lyrics, hard-edged production, and vehement onstage energy have made Boston-based Mr. Lif one of the most compelling rappers in the country. The equation is simple: "Corrective lenses are somethin'" that he wears, so he can "see the globe real clear." JS
w/Sleep, Norman, Quivah; B Complex, 315 SE 2nd, 235-4424, 8 pm, $10, all ages

CINCO--It's great to live in a "melting pot," so we can take advantage of holidays from other countries. Cinco de Mayo esta ano means ever'thang from Latin music to kielbasa, polka-punk, and everyone's favorite pastime: cabbage games!! So play it traditional or polka-dotted, but baby just play. MS
Cinqo de Mayo Party, w/DJs Mach One & Magneto, La Quinta & Full Moon; Fez, 316 SW 11th, 221-7262, 9 pm, $8; OR Polka De Mayo w/Polkacide, DJ Woijee, Samsonite and Delight-Ya; Norse Hall, 111 NE 11th, 6:30 pm, $5.99-$19.99

FAT GIRLS--Rumble, rumble, rumble... Oooh nooo! It's the deafening sound of skinny bitches' empty stomachs! Fat Girl Speaks brings together workshops, performances, and a fashion show to celebrate and embrace your thunder thighs instead of hiding them--shit girl, why the hell would you!? MS
Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, 281-4215, 4 pm, $3-6 sliding


ROCK--Woo, man I tell ya. Hoo boy I gotta say. Let me explain something, buddy: Partytime lives up to their name. With crazy singing and hella banging, they play some of the most party-fun metal this fair town has to offer, and if there's one thing you should know, it's this: they rock. Whoooaaa, mamasita. JWS
w/Dragstrip Syndicate; Blackbird, 3728 NE Sandy, 282-9949, 10 pm, $6

TRES EROTIQUE--Ready to hop the train to Sexy Town? Check out the hotsy-totsy shenanigans of Diva Nation, an "exotic pagan art troupe" who specializes in fire dancing, exotic performance (stripping, yes, but artsy stripping) and a "May Pole Spinning Celebration"! Plus they'll be showing Not Even Ashamed, a fascinating peek into the personal lives of local strippers! WSH
Dino's, 1008 SE Hawthorne, 232-9516, 8 pm, $2 or free with a can of food


ROCK--Do you miss the driving metal of Ride the Lightning? Do you feel sad when you think of your old pals from Metallica selling themselves short on the Summer Sanitarium Tour starring not only Metallica, but Limp Bizkit, Linkin Park, Deftones, and Mudvayne? Do you want some fresh aggro fast metal blood? Of course you do. Leave Metallica to the radio listeners and see Lamb of God; they will not disappoint, and except for one guy, they all have long hair. KS
w/Atreyu, Chimaira, Eighteen Visions; Lamb of God at Nocturnal, 1800 E Burnside, 239-5900, 7 pm, $13


THE UNSANE--Chris Spencer. Vinny Signorelli. Dave Curran. What may sound like ordinary names fuse together to make some very brutal, heavy noise rock. It's grimy, gruff, and surprisingly, still going strong. It's the Unsane. Fuuuuuuck. JS
w/Ociffer, JJ Paradise Player's Club; Blackbird, 3728 NE Sandy, 282-9949, 9 pm, $10


ART--Who doesn't love a Mexican Wrestler? Well, I guess a lot of people. But who doesn't love photos of Mexican Wrestlers? No one, that's who. Check out Gallery Bink's new exhibit with tons of photos of our ass-kicking friends from the South. KS
Gallery Bink, 1416 E Burnside, 233-8866, 12 pm-4 pm, exhibit through June 13

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In person at the Clinton St. Theater 10/29 & 10/30