DANCE PARTY--For their show last Halloween, NYC disco-punk octet !!! dressed up as disco balls, meticulously gluing millions of tiny square mirrors on black outfits to cover their entire bodies. If that's not a love for the funk, then there's nothing left to say. JS See Music pg 19
w/Out Hud, Chromatics; Meow Meow, 520 SE Pine, 230-2111, 9 pm

FRIDAY, June 27

MUSIC--Like Nation of Ulysses on a Mingus jazz tip, the excellent San Diego quartet The Plot to Blow Up the Eiffel Tower interpret screamy hardcore through the art of skronk. Intelligently composed, but still tuff enuff to do some damage to your inner ear. JS
w/Desert City Soundtrack, The New Trust, Rock Goggle Fantasy; Meow Meow, 520 SE Pine, 230-2111, 9 pm, $6

FILM--If you were to make a timeline of your relationship with rock music, what would it look like? Bigger Than Jesus is a diary of metal geek devotion and a secret passion for Poison. Oh, were we supposed to keep that secret? Plus, a live performance by KOTK celeb and star of the film, Rick Emerson. MS
Clinton Street Theater, 2522 SE Clinton, 238-8899, 8 pm, $8 adv, $10 door, TONIGHT ONLY


DANCE--The visceral Los Angeles modern-dance ensemble Janet Pants Dans Theeatr incorporates vivid, colorful costumes with unexpected musical choices, an element of performance art, and angular, bird-like motion. They're dance punks--LITERALLY! Plus cello/guitar/ effects duo Black Forest/Black Sea. w/ House of Cunt. JS
Disjecta, 116 NE Russell, 335-6979, 9 pm, $5

WATER SPORTS--For these strapping lads and bikini-clad gals, the normal laws of physics don't apply. Twisting, corkscrewing, and floating over the water, the best male and female wakeboarders in the country will be fiercely competing for final available spots at this year's X-Games, as well as the coveted Portland Tour championship. This is the only reason to EVER go to Gresham. PB
Blue Lake Park, Exit #13 off I-84, 7:30 am-4:30 pm; Sunday 8:30 am-3:30 pm, $10

BIKE CENTRAL--A downhome, uptown, mid-sized, bike-themed county fair to benefit the good folk at Shift. Replete with Bike-trailer pulls, freak bikes, carnival games, free hay rides, a bike rodeo, and (drool) funnel cakes! JWS
Colonel Sumner Park, SE 20th & Belmont, 2-7 pm, $3-$5 donation, for more info

SUNDAY, June 29

FASHION--Feel good about yourself, while featuring those new heels, sampling tasty hors d'oevres, viewing the latest fashions, pouring yourself a fat drink, and possibly winning prizes like massages, acupuncture, and a one of a kind handbag by Jonny Shulz... all at the PDX Fashion Incubator Fundraiser. Who needs New York? KS
Paragon, 1309 NW Hoyt, 241-4004, 9 pm, $12 adv, $14 door

MUSIC--Like their name, Blonde Redhead is a band of opposing duality. Their songs are abrasive, but danceable. Their vocals are shrill, but melodious. They are a typical three-piece indie rock band, with an atypical combination of twin Italian brothers and a Japanese woman. The duality is singularly sexy. MWH
w/Buffalo Daughter, King Cobra; Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie, 233-1994, 8 pm, $15

MONDAY, June 30

UKULELES--Proving that eventually everything gets cool eventually, Rock That Uke documents the history of the ukulele and its recent incorporation into post-punk distortion glory. What next, punk-rock wind chimes? MS
Clinton Street Theater, 2522 SE Clinton, 238-8899, Sun 7 pm (w/live uke players!), Sat-Wed 7 & 9 pm (no live uke players)


DO YOU EXIST?--Find out for sure at the Portland Building's latest interactive installation, The Registry of Existence, a "public information system" that will gather data about your life, put you through a series of tests, and use the results to validate or deny your existence. Winners get a Certificate of Existence in the mail! JWS
Portland Building, 1120 SW 5th, through July 18th


MUSIC--Okay, a 15-member, afro-rhythmic, dance music that even has ravers shaking that ass; it's the Antibalas Afrobeat Orchestra. Their latest CD, Talkatif (on Ninja Tune), is a web of intertwined percussion, funk, jazz, and big band that will make you all moist. KS
Medicine Hat, 1834 NE Alberta, 282-4083, 10:30 pm, $15

BIG-ASS ART SHOW--For this year's Portland Art Museum Oregon Biennial, 927 artists from the Pacific Northwest submitted art from all different mediums. Only 26 were chosen, which means this is going to be an exhibition of new talent that's actually good, if not great. JWS
Portland Art Museum, 1219 SW Park, 226-2811, 10 am-5 pm, through Sept. 7