THURSDAY, September 18

MUSIC--It looks like we'll all be spending a lot more time at the Twilight now that it's one of the only games in town. The Mexican Blackbirds deliver no-nonsense Cali-cum-Tacoma punk that sounds like a sanitation truck at 5 AM heaving an unsavory load into its gaping maw outside your window. With the fine local talent of EE and the BFs, this show promises to blur the ride home. LC
w/Electric Eye, The Buttfrenchers; Twilight, 1420 SE Powell, 236-7668, 9 pm, free

TALENT--If you're choosing just one of PICA's Time-Based Arts events, tonight's talent show ought to be a contender. Far from preteen boys lip-synching "Girls, Girls, Girls" in tutus, it features verifiably accomplished TBA peeps vying for the "most talented" title. MS
Machineworks, 1115 NW 14th, 10 pm, $10

FRIDAY, September 19

NARCOTIC POP--The Byrds, the Jesus and Mary Chain, the Zombies, VU, Mamas & the Papas--40 years of velvety pop music, all culminating in the woozy autumn rubdown of pop masseuses The Clientele. Right there, baby. Yeaaaah. JS
w/Destroyer; Dante's, 1 SW 3rd, 226-6630, 9 pm, $10

FEMINIST PERFORMANCE ART--In The Incredible Disappearing Woman, the compelling artist Coco Fusco performs about women who die at the US-Mexico border. Surely unforgettable. JS
Scottish Rite Hall, 709 SW 15th, 8 pm, $10-15 as part of Time-Based Arts Fest

SATURDAY, September 20

FOOD FEST--There will be enough sauerkraut served at the Scappoose Sauerkraut Festival to fill a swimming pool! Great antidote for hangovers, wonderful with ice cream, proven cancer inhibitor, the minced olde world treat is celebrated in glorious Scappoose today with a parade, bands, and all forms of sauerkraut. PB
Heritage Park, Scappoose (15 miles west on Hwy 30), for more info 543-2010, 9:45 am-5 pm

RAWK--Everyone's had their panties in a bunch forever about Helles Belles, the all-girl AC/DC cover band. But the truth is that AC/DC sucks, and a cover band can only be as good as the band they're covering, right? So I have high hopes for Mistress of Reality, an all-girl band who covers one of the best metal bands ever, Black Sabbath. Holy Eff! KS
w/Deflower, Stabitha; Conan's, 3862 SE Hawthorne, 234-7474, 9 pm, $10

MUSIC--London's peppy KaitO are unafraid to turn their co-ed choruses into cheerleading fight songs for Indie Rock High. For an encore, they do lots of leg kicks and eventually make a human pyramid. They'll be joined by The Walkmen who--after selling one of their songs for a Saturn commercial--now tour in a diamond-encrusted tour bus and play instruments made out of solid gold! EAC
w/The Silents; Dante's, 1 SW Third, 226-6630, 9:30 pm, $8

SUNDAY, September 21

HELLO VIDEO!--Satisfy your wild hair for dancing, film-watching, and drinking all in one glamorous (and fun!) evening, when Hello Video! showcases more great local filmmakers. DJs included! JS
w/DJ Safi, Satellite Jockey, Invisible; Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 8 pm, $5

GAY FILM BENEFIT--How many parties have YOU been to this year that benefit the upcoming Portland Lesbian & Gay Film Festival? NONE!? Why, they're all the rage! This one has free food, specially priced booze, flirting galore, sneak previews, and contests! Winning stuff is cool! JWS
Crush, 1412 SE Morrison, 235-8150, 7-10 pm, $5

MONDAY, September 22

MUSIC--Tucson's Calexico is the tightest country/surf rock/brass/spaghetti western band you will ever see. What's more, they back up the stellar eclectic music with fascinating lyrics; narratives about lost loves and epic rivalries, all set in the Great American Southwest. They are without a doubt the most well rounded band... ever. JWS
w/The Frames; Aladdin Theatre, 3017 SE Milwaukie, 233-1994, 8 pm, $15

TUESDAY, September 23

MUSIC--You can't hate Rooney just because they're cute, have great hair, Gap commercial style, and have been on David Letterman. You could, however, hate them if they had rich mommys and daddys, too. But I'm sure they don't. I'm sure they worked their way up the ladder. So why begrudge these Beach-Boys-esque cuties poppers success? I mean really. KS
w/The Sound, Palo Alto; Meow Meow, 527 SE Pine, 1-800-325-SEAT, 9 pm, $12

WEDNESDAY, September 24

COMEDY--Ever wonder what your fave weekly mags would look like if they were people? Well, the Famous Mysterious Actor Players think they have the answer with "Willi and the Merc present Comedy Night." (From what I understand "Merc" is a four-eyed indie dork, and "Willi" is a butch lesbian with a mullet. Sounds right to me.) Comedy, music, video, and "funny" will ensue. WSH
w/ Team Unicorn; Ash Street, 225 SW Ash, 226-0430, 8 pm

READING--Clever, clever fantasy author Neal Stephenson (Cryptonomicon) trots into town to read from his newest book filled with cleverosity, Quicksilver. Mentally dwarfed by the brainier types of the Baroque era, Daniel Waterhouse sets out with a harem runaway and the "King of the Vagabonds" to find his fortune. Along the way he meets alchemists, Barbary pirates, and (Ka-BOING!) Benjamin Franklin! WSH
First Congregational Church, 1126 SW Park, 7:30 pm, free

Support The Portland Mercury

SLAY Film Fest
In person at the Clinton St. Theater 10/29 & 10/30