THURSDAY, july 29

STRIP JEOPARDY--One of your favorite Hawthorne eateries, No Fish! Go Fish, debuts a late-night entertainment series with Celebrity Strip Jeopardy, featuring Mercury newsman and nudist Phil Busse, ultra-sexy photographer Marne Lucas, and S&M guru Darklady. Don't miss this bizarrely entertaining display, along with No Fish's fab new cocktail and late night food menu. KS
No Fish! Go Fish!, 3962 SE Hawthorne, 10 pm, free

BOOKS--Tonight Semisonic drummer Jason Shlichter reads from his new book So You Wanna be a Rock & Roll Star, a dishy exposé packed with first-hand gossip. The front lines and back rooms of the music industry will be stripped naked for all the lucky voyeurs in the room. If you've got it, flaunt it. EJ
Powell's on Hawthorne, 3723 SE Hawthorne, 7:30 pm, free

FRIDAY, july 30

TOXIC--The most endearing filmmaker in the country, Lloyd Kaufman, arrives tonight to show his infamous Toxic Avenger movies. Then, the Portland Organic Wrestlers throw down followed by a special preview of Musikill, the upcoming Toxic Avenger-inspired musical! It's Tox-tastic! JWS
Sabala's Mt. Tabor, 4811 SE Haw-thorne, doors open at 7:30 pm, $10

COMEDY/DANCE--While most purveyors of sketch comedy carry with them the stench of desperation, Ego Productions are a breath of fresh air. Superego: Your Life is in Danger contains 15 truly funny comedy skits without a dud in the bunch. PLUS! Join the troupe immediately afterwards for a dance party spun by DJ Gregarious! WSH
Fez Ballroom, 316 SW 11th, 9 pm (dance party at 10), $7

FUNNY FLICKS--One of the most prolific filmmaking groups in town, Cinema Queso, also happens to be one of the funniest. If you haven't seen them, tonight's the night--a best-of collection of their work followed by a dance party with DJ Phantom Hillbilly. JWS
The Know, 2022 NE Alberta, 9 pm, $3

SATURDAY, july 31

LATE NIGHT FASHION--Dragonlily boutique, devoted to independent and locally designed duds, is having their 1st-annual fashion show in conjunction with the multimedia-happy Kaosmosis--and it's late. Aside from beautiful clothes, you'll see the AWOL Dance Collective's aerial tricks, tap dancing, original film, and live music! MS
Machineworks, 1115 NW 14th, 10:30 pm-dawn, $13-20 sliding

MUSIC--With a list of collaborations, half-involvements, and "bands" longer than this brief space allows, Thrones frontman/guitarman/onlyman Joe Preston has easily been one of the most important figures in the Northwest lineage for nearly 20 years. But forget about history--because, despite the lack of any new recorded material in, like, forever, Thrones are alive, well, and always worth seeing. ZP
Grand Central Bowl, 808 SE Morrison, all ages, 10 pm, $4

SUNDAY, august 1

MUSIC--If you've any sense at all, you're already on your way to the Holocene tonight for Ratatat's soft parade--but in the event that you were considering skipping the openers, let me caution you against arriving fashionably stupid. Providence, RI's Lucky Dragons craft some of the most humane, confused, and staggeringly beautiful Lap-pap I've ever had the pleasure of hearing. ZP
w/1999; Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 9 pm, $7-$9

PLYMPTON PREMIERE--Portland-born animator Bill Plympton premieres Hair High, wherein zombies invade a 1960s prom. To celebrate, the Crystal Ballroom will be decked out prom-style, with the film's voiceover actors shambling around in zombie regalia, either scaring you or making you laugh. Either way, you'll shit your pants. EH
Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W. Burnside, 224-4400, 6 pm, $9-11

MONDAY, august 2

POLITICAL BASHING--No evil politician escapes the incisive criticism of Jim Hightower, the prolific writer of Let's Stop Beating Around the Bush and countless articles. He takes apart President Bush, but he also slams the Democrats for being girlie-men and not standing up for their rights. Be careful. He may even blame YOU for the mess we're in! PB
Bagdad Theater, 3702 SE Hawthorne, 7 pm, free

TUESDAY, august 3

GAYS--If you're a gay (or some kind of gay sympathizer) and you like to listen to other gays playing music, there's no excuse not to attend Olympia's second biannual Homo-A-Gogo Festival. With the addition of the hotly anticipated reunion of quintessential queercore band Team Dresch--and the baffling addendum of an Indigo Girls performance--HAGG '04 is sure to be packed with fresh meat. ZP
Capitol Theater, 246 5th Ave, Olympia, WA., Aug 3-Aug 8,

WEDNESDAY, august 4

KPSU DJS--Finally, KPSU DJs emerge from the safety of the radio studio and spin some music out in the real world. Catch the station's new Wednesday night series at the Rabbit Hole. This week's featured guest is DJ 4Star (his show Culture Theft airs Thursday nights at 8 pm on KPSU,1450 am), spinning Old School hiphop that might even get you dancing. KS
Rabbit Hole, 203 SE Grand, 9 pm, free