THURSDAY, august 26

MUSIC--Former Replacements/current (faux-) Guns 'n' Roses bassist Tommy Stinson's solo debut, Village Gorilla Head, was a pleasant surprise--not totally horrible. Borrowing heavily from Paul Westerberg's classic delivery, Tommy finds fun in all the desperation. And you'll find fun in your desperately empty wallet--'cuz this is a cheap-as-hell Mercury/Thrasher Low Dough Show! ZP
Ash St. Saloon, 225 SW Ash, 224-4400, 9 pm, $5

OUTDOOR MOVIE--It's the grand finale of the Top Down Film Fest on top of the Mallory Hotel parking garage, and they're going out with a bang, with the Asian cult classic, Wild Zero. The plot is way too crazy to repeat here, but know it contains zombies, Yakuza, drugs, mutilations, flaming motorcycles, and female arms dealers. Interested yet? WSH
Mallory Hotel parking garage, 815 SW 14th & Taylor, music at 7:30 pm, film at 9 pm, $5

FRIDAY, august 27

MUSIC--Though he may (or may not) pay the bills with his other band Destroyer, Scott Morgan spends his downtime creating subtle, gorgeous ambience with his laptop outfit Loscil. And while the lulling tones of a machine might sound like a difficult prospect for a Friday night--let me remind you that Prince is only five days away, and you're going to want all of the focus you can muster. ZP
Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 8:30 pm, FREE ($4 after 10pm for DJs Beyonda, P Disco, Hermanito)

ANNIVERSARY--For (supposedly) 11 loooooong years, the Famous Mysterious Actor Show has been performing its hilarious talk show parody at the Ash Street Theater. Now it's time to celebrate their anniversary! Join the crazy antics of the Famous Mysterious Actor as he welcomes special guests Jen Lane of Barfly, Clyde Lewis, Miss Mona Superhero, and more! WSH
Ash Street Saloon, 225 SW Ash, 9 pm

SATURDAY, august 28

PIRATE FEST--The local obsession with pirates continues, with the FIFTH annual Festival de Piratas. In addition to the usual local pirate music-playing scalawags, this year's party features The Ben Gunn Society (inventors of "Talk Like A Pirate Day") and pirate reenactments from The Brotherhood of Oceanic Mercenaries (BOOM). MS
Bossanova, 722 E Burnside, 8 pm, $12

QUEER PUNK--What goes better with Saturday night than a room full of hot sweaty lesbians? Well, I've just spent five minutes trying to think of something, and I can't. So I guess it looks like our plans for the evening are set. Lesbo punks Davies Vs. Dresch, JackQueen (with members of the Haggard) and Seattle bush-lickers Her Toxic Map shred the I.C. Mummy, while we drink ourselves silly and look at boobs. KS
I.C. Mummy, 332 NE San Rafael, 8 pm, $5

ROOTS--Bluegrass, blues, swing, rock, country, western, folk. If you can pick, strum or pull a bow across it, you're likely to hear it at the annual Pickathon, a whopping guitar/fiddle/violin fest set in one of the region's most winning outdoor venues--and it benefits KBOO! PB

Horning's Hideout, Exit 57 off Hwy 26, for more info, Fri 1 pm - 11 pm, Sat 9 am - 10 pm, $35

SUNDAY, august 29

SPORTS--Can you believe it's the last soccer game of the season? You'd better see this: local giants the Portland Timbers take on the Milwaukee Rampage, injecting the crowd with volatile citywide pride and horniness. Soccer involves a black-and-white ball, a lot of legs, and no hands. EJ
PGE Park, 1844 SW Morrison, 224-4400, 5 pm, $9-16

SINFERNO--If you've never been to the weekly Sinferno Cabaret (translation: hot chicks, fire, etc.), this might be the best week to try it. StinkMitt, a dirty birdy electro retro dance band will be there, as well as our local Devo-like darlings the Punk Group. AND hot chicks and fire! MS
Dante's, 1 SW 3rd, 9 pm, $6

MONDAY, august 30

CHOMP!--There are some movies that are custom-made for summer, and chief amongst them is Steven Spielberg's quintessential blockbuster Jaws. Yeah, you've seen it before, but have you been scared shitless thanks to the big screen and a new 35mm print? Plus, it'll set a lovely tone for that daytrip to the coast you've been consideringÉ EH
Hollywood Theater, 4122 NE Sandy Blvd, 7 & 9:30 pm, $6

TUESDAY, august 31

HIPHOP--The incredibly gifted and lyrical emcee Gift of Gab has taken a break from his stellar Blackalicious crew to spit out a solo album, Fourth Dimensional Rocketships Going Up. Watch him work his magic tonight. JWS
Berbati's, 231 SW Ankeny, 9:30 pm, $15

WEDNESDAY, september 1

MUSIC--In the last year, I have watched the Prince concert film Sign 'O' the Times roughly half-a-dozen times, seen Purple Rain at least twice that, and generally cultivated an obsession with the artist formerly known as Greatest Rock Star of All Time. And isn't it my luck? I'm going to be out of town when the Godhead hits Portland. For my sake, please--Christ, PLEASE--attend this show in my stead. ZP
Rose Garden Arena, 224-4400, 7:30 pm, $56-$84.50