THURSDAY, september 2

MUSIC--The band with the (intentionally) bleakest name ever, American Music Club, is stuck with a much more loaded moniker than it was in the '80s. But Mark Eitzel is used to being loaded, with a history of drunken tirades between the band's eclectic, pretty rock songs. MS
Berbati's, 231 SW Ankeny, 9 pm, $10-12

LOW DOUGH SHOW--The Mercury loves two things: ENTERTAINMENT and VALUE. And along with Thrasher Presents, we're giving you both with tonight's Low Dough Show featuring the hardcore punk rawk antics of Zeke! If you like to thrash, puke, and party, then this is absolutely the show for you. WSH
Ash Street Saloon, 225 SW Ash, 9 pm, ONLY $5

FRIDAY, september 3

MUSIC---Reggae: Jamaica. Not reggae: downtown Portland. Reggae: black, kinky dreadlocks. Not reggae: crusty, flea-infested blonde hair. Reggae: one love. Not reggae: polyamory. Reggae: the Marley Brothers. EJ
w/Toots & The Maytals, Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, 225-0047, 9 pm, $30-35

MUSIC--Cephalic Carnage play what they like to call grindcore, loaded with double bass, vocal acrobatics, and death metal intensity. Plus, they're playing with a band called Whore, which is staffed by the guy who works the counter at Hard Times Adult Video, if that tells you anything about how hardcore they are. KS
w/Misery Index, Hyperthermia; Conan's Pub, 3862 SE Hawthorne, 9 pm, $8

SATURDAY, september 4

PIXIES--Finally answering the marijuana dreams of a trillion college students, the friggin' Pixies have reunited for a massive tour! Word is that they're still absolutely amazing, so if you ever spend money on a big arena show, this one is your shrewdest bet. Ohmigod, the friggin' Pixies!!!!! MS
Les Schwab Amphitheatre, 344 SW Shevlin-Hixon Dr, Bend, 5 pm, $33

HAPPY BIRTHDAY-- √Čto you, Reading Frenzy! You're 10 years old this week and celebrating in style with tonight's big ol' benefit art show for the Critical Art Ensemble, which features rad artists like Vanessa Renwick, Jo Jackson, and Sam Coomes. AND THEN it'll be nighttime and time to dance to the funky grooves of Calvin Johnson, Braille Stars, Ape Shape, and TONS more! Wowzy woo! JWS
Nocturnal, 1800 E Burnside, 7 pm artists reception, free, 9 pm dance party, $5-10

SUNDAY, september 5

MUSIC--Head out to the First Annual Neil Goldschmidt Back-to-School Bash. Six dirty, kid-coveting bands play raunchy, inappropriate rock. An underage wet T-shirt contest and a banana-eating contest ensue. Ewww, but hey! There'll be prizes! KS
Paris Theater, 6 SW 3rd, 4 pm, $5

MUSIC--Okay, so this is kind of big. Head Automatica is Glassjaw vocalist Daryl Palumbo's collaboration with producer extraordinaire Dan "The Automator" Nakamura. The result is unbelievably fun; ass-pulsing beats all wound up with rockin' guitar licks and Palumbo's trademark passionately slurred vocals. You will party at this show, and you will like it. JWS
The Meow Meow, 320 SE 2nd, 7 pm, $10

MONDAY, september 6

REPTILES & AMPHIBIANS--Finally! It's the 20th annual Reptile and Amphibian Show! It has over 150 critters, with an emphasis on poisonous snakes! Including a mother-effing King Cobra! There will also be a spot for you to handle some of the critters, and live demonstrations. Does Labor Day get any better than this? MS
OMSI, 1945 SE Water, 9:30 am-7 pm, $8.50

TUESDAY, september 7

READING--Anne Garrels has bigger journalist balls than Peter Arnett and the entire CNN staff--combined! After most networks pulled their reporters, Garrels, an NPR correspondent, stuck around war-torn Baghdad when the shit hit the fan, risking her life to provide heart-stopping reporting. Her latest book, Naked in Baghdad, gives the nitty gritty. PB
First Baptist Church, SW 12th & Taylor, 7:30 pm, free

MUSIC--If it wasn't enough to give the finger to all the punk rock singers, genre-bending art punkers These Arms are Snakes just went out and made one the best damn albums of the year. See them scream, stomp, and bleed onstage in support of their debut long-player, Oxeneers or The Lion Sleeps When Its Antelope Go Home. EAC
Meow Meow, 320 SE 2nd, 7:30 pm, $10

WEDNESDAY, september 8

MUSIC--Smooth, beautiful, and flowing like a melodic creek through the British countryside, Keane brings their terrific Beatle-esque tunes to Portland. Backing them up: your fave and mine, The French Kicks! What a show, what a show! WSH
Berbati's, 231 SW Ankeny, 9 pm, $13

FLICK--When are you going to get another chance to see a 1915 German silent film about a rabbi who brings a giant clay man to life who is as surly as he is super-powered? Der Golem is slow paced, but it's about a giant dude made out of clay, and that's just awesome. EH
Old Town Pizza, 226 NW Davis, 9 pm, free