INAUGURATION--The good news is that you made it past Election Day without downing that bottle of sleeping pills. The bad news is that Bush's inauguration is today. Luckily, the Mercury's Inaugurate This! party is here to ward off those suicidal tinges. Join the Radical Cheerleaders, DJ Teenage, the Right Wing Comic, Sam Adams, and other very special guests for the anti-celebration and progressive action kickoff. SM
Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 7 pm, free

PAR-TAY--If you haven't partied with Jason Sabala, you haven't really partied. And if there was ever a time to party with Sabala it's tonight, on his birthday. Join his crew, a bottle of Makers, and the punkabilly music of Blackout Radio, the Celtic-flavored flogging of Mere Mortals, plus the rock of the Texecutioners and The Gallows. It's sure to be one legendary shitstorm. KS
Sabala's Mt. Tabor, 4811 SE Hawthorne, 9 pm, free

COMEDY--Fans of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart will automatically recognize the blustery comedy of Lewis Black. Well known for pointing out the really annoying idiocies of everyday life, and then screaming about them in a hilarious way, Black is a pulsating comedy aneurysm--and I think it's gonna blow! WSH
w/John Bowman; Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, 1st show sold out, 2nd show 10 pm, $32


MUSIC--As jangle pop goes, Human Television's recent All Songs Written By: is fairly undeniable. Though inescapably modern, the Florida foursome rest comfortably in the Go-Between-y/R.E.M. -y corner of the college rock stratus (albeit, without a McLennan or a Stipe in the bunch)--a crowded corner, for sure, but one flush with enough comfortable beanbag chairs and throw pillows for all comers. ZP
Tonic Lounge, 3100 NE Sandy Blvd, 9 pm, $5

ESTHER'S DEAD--While the Mercury ordinarily doesn't grant "last wishes," this event really sounds fun! Before perishing to an inoperable brain tumor, Esther Barnum Alman requested a "Busy Week" pick for her awesome funeral party, featuring her fave bands. Celebrate life with The Maybe Happening, Nick Jaina, Dat'r, DJ Death, plus artsy films, a goodbye video from Esther, followed by Twister and a giant pillow fight! That's what we call going out in style! WSH
Newspace, 1632 SE 10th Ave, 8 pm, $5

BULL RIDING--Or: the perfect sport for people who like to watch other people become terribly injured. You pretty much spend the whole time sucking air in through your teeth, covering your eyes and yelling, "Holy shit, oh my god, did he get it in the nuts?" Spend $10, watch men get thrown around like ragdolls, and have a story to tell for the rest of your life. KS
Professional Bull Riding, Rose Garden, 1 Winning Way, 224-4400,7:50 pm, $10-75


IMMORTAL--If modern science and a millennia of culture have taught us one incontrovertible fact, it's that Duran Duran will never die. For better or worse, you will be listening to them until the end of your life. So why not give in to that fact with tonight's tribute to Duran Duran, featuring Kaitlyn Ni Donovan, the Human Genome Project, Amoree Lovell, and about 57 more rad Portland artists? EH
Fez, 316 SW 11th Ave, 221-7162, 9 pm, $8

THE FURS--Calling all furries! Break out your mascara and welcome back your favorite band from 1984, The Psychedelic Furs. Mixing pop and post-punk the Furs paid tribute to the cynical side of romance with hits such as, "Love My Way," "Heaven," "The Ghost in You," and the darkest song ever set to a John Hughes movie, "Pretty in Pink." (I swear to god, if Andrew McCarthy shows up, I'm gonna sock him in the jaw. Just kidding! I LOVE YOU ANDREW!!) WSH
w/The Shore; Roseland, 8 NW 6th Ave, 1-800-992-8499, 9 pm, $19-30

FOR THE BIRDS--Experts agree that 2005 is the year pigeon couriers will replace e-mail and text messages as the "it" form of communication. Get in early by picking up your very own winged friend at the Tournier Champion Bred Racing Pigeon auction to benefit the Racing Pigeon Project, where trainers will also be on hand to show you how to handle your new PM (pigeon messaging) device. SM
Salmon Creek Grange, 1900 NE 154th Street, Vancouver, 10 am

HAIRY CHESTS & BUTTS--Those wacky, burly Bears are at it again tonight, with the Bear to Bare Party! Think you've got a hairy chest? Reveal it tonight and win $25 if yours is hairiest. Fuzzy butt? Fuzzy enough to win the cash prize? Find out, fuzz ass! MS
The Eagle, 1300 W Burnside, 9 pm, $4


TRIP--From the poppy fields of Portland's collective subconscious comes Church of Psychedelia--a monthly showcase of local and national bands charting musical territories both foreign and familiar, that also happens to be totally free. The premiere event features the neo-folk of Josh Blanchard's the Plants, free jazz from the Evolutionary Jass Band, and a spectacularly rare performance by Nudge. ZP
Berbati's Pan, 10 SW 3rd, 9:30 pm, free

DANCE--While the Blue Monk is usually all about jazz, on Portland Underground Sunday nights they're all about the hiphop. This week, spend the Lord's evening in their cozy basement, dancing and kicking it to the live music of Bo Bryant from hiphop crew the Chosen, A.G. of Quivah on guitar, and kickass lady emcee Syndell on vocals. Plus, DJ Sneakers spins the hits. KS
Blue Monk, 3341 SE Belmont, 9 pm, $3

DOGS--One of the few pleasures this harsh world has to offer is the ogling of caged exotic canines like shimmering jewels in a display case. And at the 2005 Rose City Classic Dog Show, those four-legged jewels will get up and dance, too, hurtling through obstacle courses, parading around concourses, and heeling, barking, and playing dead for your knee-slapping amusement. JWS
Portland Expo Center, 2060 N Marine Drive, more info @ , Jan. 20 - 23, 8 am - 6 pm, $8

FILM--An innovative electronic musician, a dabbler in musique concrete, an award-winning composer of children's music throughout the '60s and '70s, a featured guest on both The Tonight Show and Mr. Rogers, the author of a psyche-rock opera called The Electric Lucifer…; Bruce Haack was many things… add to that list: long over-looked. Bruce Haack: King of Techno--a brief, endearing documentary about Haack's life--admirably intends to change that. ZP
Guild Theatre, SW 9th & Taylor, 7 pm, $7


MUSIC--A New York address? Check. Hot singer? Check. Emo pop that swears it's not just emo pop? Check. Yup, Elefant sounds like just about every other band rolling in. But hey, the music is actually catchy and less self-obsessed than usual, and the guy is super hot. MS
w/Radio 4, Crystal, 1332 W Burnside, 9 pm, $9.47, All Ages


READING--In Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking, the follow-up to his massively successful The Tipping Point, the genius philosopher/researcher/New Yorker writer Malcolm Gladwell utilizes brilliantly illustrated real-life anecdotes to demonstrate that snap judgments may not be as sketchy as you've been taught to believe. JWS
Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, 7:30 pm

MUSIC--Yes it's true: the Meow Meow is going down, but at least it's going down with its hackles up and its claws out. It's presenting dope shows to the bitter end, including tonight's performances by arty Brooklyn drum and bass sensations Japanther, and the thrillingly fragmented Portland rockers, Wet Confetti. JWS
Meow Meow, 320 SE 2nd, 9 pm, $5


MUSIC--Part of Def Jux's latest wave of tomorrow, the three piece Hangar 18 collective hints at its label's history--most specifically, that of label founder EL-P--if perhaps only tangentially. Their debut--last year's half-right The Multi-Platinum Debut Album--was full with adept flow and brilliant in-house production by DJ paWL. Hangar is joined tonight by Subterraneous Records founder OneBeLo (formerly OneManArmy) and Magestik Legend. ZP
Berbati's Pan, 10 SW 3rd, 9:30 pm, $8

SEA-LEBRITY--Ha! Get it? Sea-lebrity? Ah, never mind. Anyway, everyone knows that oceans are awesome, but what are even awesomer? OCEAN EXPLORERS! Well, here's your chance to hear Jean-Michel Cousteau (son of the ULTIMATE OCEAN EXPLORER, Jacques Cousteau) tell fascinating tales about his adventures in the briny blue, plus his thoughts on sustainability! EH
PSU's Smith Memorial Student Union Ballroom, 1825 SW Broadway, 7 pm, free