BOOTY--Avast there, ye queers! It's the one-year anniversary of Portland's premiere "Piratecore" party, "Booty"--in which the hottest local homos gather to git up with the git down. Besides spinny fun provided by DJs Puppet, Stormy, Heewee and MoRocca, party favors include CDs, DVDs, T-shirts, drink specials, and 3D glasses! Wow. It looks so real I could just reach out and touch it! WSH
Porky's, 835 N Lombard,, 9 pm, $3

TUNES--Cute and simple, the music of Deerhoof has won hearts all over the globe, with the sweet-voiced Satomi Matsuzaki contrasted with an art-punky instrumentation. Mixing harmonious elements with noise and toys, the fun experimentation should be more than enough to keep you busy tonight. MS
Nocturnal, 1800 E Burnside, 8:30 pm, $10, all ages


MUSIC--In tonight's gloriously mixed bag, Berbati's plays host to the indierock musings of Anticon-affiliate (and cLOUDDEAD emcee) Why?, the all-too-earnest pop witticisms of Kill Rock Stars' latest chanteuse Nedelle, and a solo performance by Fred Thomas, leader of oft-brilliant Motown darlings Saturday Looks Good To Me. ZP
Berbati's Pan, 10 SW 3rd, 9 pm, $10

GEEKS--Yeah right. Some of the coolest kids in town--Glass Candy, Panther, Dantronix, and Workout--are throwing a Geek Chic Disko, with contests for best dressed, best chest, and smartest. So drag out your dorkiest duds and nerd out to some distinctly un-nerdy music. MS
Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 9 pm, $5


BIKES!--If you are a Portlander and you don't love bikes, then you are not a Portlander. We're going to assume you're a Portlander and recommend this evening's big-ass bike swap, a benefit for North Portland Bike Works and a chance for YOU to score amazing deals on bikes, gear, and that pink lycra seat cover you've been coveting. DJ and full bar included. JWS
Eagles Lodge, 4904 SE Hawthorne, 5-9 pm, $1 admission, $10 vendor fee

FUNNY MATH--If there were an award for best song names, it'd no doubt go to Seattle's Minus the Bear, with titles like "Thanks for the Killer Game of Crisco® Twister," and "Hey, Wanna Throw Up?" The band also weaves moody electronic sounds into layers of rigid math rock--a thick, sonic onslaught not to be missed. MS
Loveland, 320 SE 2nd, 6:30 PM, $11, all ages


ISLAND MUSIC--Can't afford the plane ticket to Jamaica? Well, Toots and the Maytals are the next best thing--the most genuine reggae band out there. After 40 years of recording and touring, Toots hasn't lost a single, get-up, get-down beat. PB
w/Wisdom, DJ Cansaman; Roseland, 8 NW 6th, 8 pm, $20, all ages

PLAY--As a work of sheer imagination, no Portland play in recent memory rivals Glen Berger's O Lovely Glowworm. Set in WWI Ireland, it features a stuffed goat protagonist, a singing entrepreneur who hopes to invent the modern toilet, and a hilarious love triangle between two foppish soldiers and a mermaid. And, yes, that is indeed only the beginning. JWS
Portland Center Stage, 1111 SW Broadway, 274-6588, Tues-Wed 7 pm, Thurs-Sat 8 pm, Sun 2 pm & 7 pm, $20-55


MUSIC--Q and Not U prove that frenzied dancing, politics, and punk music can all fit within the narrow context of a three-minute song. Tonight, be sure to remember your indierock show etiquette; the front of the venue is for dancing and listening to the band, the back is for the cynical comments on how they sounded better when you saw them back in 2001 at The Medicine Hat with Ted Leo. EAC
w/Shy Child, Food for Animals, Manhunter; Loveland, 320 SE Pine, 8 pm, $10


RAWK--Don't be fooled by the name change. Slightly re-structured from the popular Ma Ford, the newly named band, Safari, is still the same honky-tonk garage fun, fronted by the same, slinky hottie-hot girl rocker. PB
w/Sons of Guns; Kelly's Olympian, 426 SW Washington, 10 pm, $3


SMART LADY--What the Rolling Stones mean to rock 'n' roll, Camille Paglia means to cultural criticism. This fearsome intellect, art critic, historian, lesbian, and self-described "Amazon feminist" made waves with 1991's Sexual Personae, a bombastic, massive treatise on… just about everything. Her new book Break, Blow, Burn is a collection of her personal essays on "43 of the world's best poems." JWS
Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, 7:30 pm

CANADA--Our neighbor to the far North--the Canadian armpit that is British Columbia--isn't exactly celebrated for its contributions to the indierock cultural whole (Zumpano not withstanding). Tonight, two of the province's finest--Victoria's caterwauling quartet Frog Eyes and Vancouver's stoner-friendly Black Mountain--make a rather reputable bid to change that. ZP
Berbati's Pan, 10 SW 3rd, 9:30 pm, $8