SWING, BATTER--And the rest of us, SWIG! The hometown Beavers' baseball season may be hot-and-cold so far, but who cares? The beer is always cold! And tonight, also known as Thirsty Thursday, it's really cheap, too! Get plastered and cheer on Jon "Boom Boom" Knott, who already has seven homers this year. PB
PGE Park, 7:05 pm, $7-12, beer only $1

MUSIC--Whoa, how often does a FREE party like this come along? Tonight, celebrate the release of the thoughtfully conceived Bridgetown Breaks LP--a breaks record featuring percussion tracks from members of Menomena, Quivah, Talkdemonic, and Systemwide. Rev. Shines from Lifesavas, along with the Village Idiots, and DJ Kez will be in attendance to assure your entertainment satisfaction. ZP
XV, 5 SW 2nd Ave, 10 pm, FREE


MUSIC--Chicago's gloriously head-onistic art-funk collective Mahjongg recently dropped their first full-length in the form of Raydongcong--and it's way better than all those other recent "dance-punk" records you've been thinking about selling. ZP
Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 9 pm, $8

JESUS--You may be familiar with Portland's own Elvis--who plays at Saturday Market and appears at kooky events such as tonight's Voodoo Doughnut anniversary party. Elvis will reveal his new alter ego: Jesus. And if the Second Coming isn't enough to get your heathen ass out, there'll be plenty of musical fun from Tony Green, Jeffrey Lewis, and the Dickel Brothers. MS
Voodoo Doughnuts, 22 SW 3rd, 10 pm, tip! (Anniversary celebration goes Thurs-Sat)

SNOOP--Far be it for us to ever recommend an event put on by Jammin' 95.5, but… this one's just too good to pass up. With Snoop Dogg, The Game, and a slew of other hiphop heavyweights, the embarrassingly named Jammin' 95.5 Presents the Bomb promises to be… um, the bomb. EH
w/Ciara, Pretty Rickey; Rose Garden, 7:30 pm, 724-4400, $18-$65


MUSIC--The prolific group Of Montreal have been infiltrating our ears and minds with their jerky, '60s-tinged pop-rock for nearly a decade, and shows no signs of slowing on their latest disc The Sunlandic Twins. Leave the drugs at home tonight--you'll jump around just fine without 'em. And drugs are bad. JWS
w/IQU, Kanda; Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $10

MUSIC--Mt. Eerie is Phil Elverum, who used to call himself the Microphones--under which he put out a few of the best arguments for the continued existence of "indierock" this century. Since then, dude's been pretty quiet on the recording front, but I've heard him play about 200 unrecorded, great-to-pretty-good songs since the last Microphones album, and he'll probably be playing a whole new batch tonight. ZP
Artistery, 3769 SE Milwaukie, 8 pm, $5


VIDEOGAMES--So you went and got yourself one of those fancy-pants PlayStation Portables, did you? Well, then you have NO CHOICE but to show up to Backspace's PSP Party, which lets anyone with a PSP show up, access Backspace's free wi-fi, and play games with other PSP owners. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd best brush up on my Wipeout Pure skills… EH
Backspace, 115 NW 5th, 3 pm, FREE


MUSIC--Combining amazing beats and breaks with the instrumental music of guitar, organ, piano and more, producer Bryan Hollon AKA Boom Bip gives us his latest album, Blue Eyed in the Red Room. Mellow, sweeping, and a little sad, this is electronic music for the contemplative. KS
w/the Fog, Dino Felipe, Finesse and Runway, Samos; Holocene, 1001 SE Burnside, 8 pm, $8


THEATER--Richard Greenberg's Take Me Out became the talk of the town when it hit Broadway in 2003, posing the question: What happens when a star baseball player announces to the world he's gay? Artists Repertory Theatre presents this fascinating work, which does, yes, include nude locker room scenes, not to mention stud-a-riffic local actors Tim True and Scott Coopwood. JWS
Artists Repertory Theatre, 1516 SW Alder,
241-1278, 7 pm, $15-26


MUSIC--Local mega rockers Sleater-Kinney hit the circuit again with their latest masterpiece, The Woods, which, with powerful vocals, distorted guitar, and acid-tripping psychedelia, lives up to the hype. Catch S-K quickly, before you get sick of seeing their faces on every music magazine ever. KS
w/Mary Timony, Swan Island;
Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, 9 pm, $15