Marlowe Dobbe

Sunday’s “Unite the Right 2” rally in DC was, by all accounts, very poorly attended. Fewer than 30 white nationalists showed up and were far outnumbered by counter-protestors. There have been a few reasons given for the lower turnout, including the “bad optics” of last year’s rally and the backlash many white nationalists have experienced from their work and families. One surprising reason given by some white supremacists, however, was the poor coordination skills of UTR2 leader Jason Kessler. These poor organizational skills were revealed in leaked Facebook chat messages from members of the group. A sample interaction is posted below.

JASON KESSLER: Added McPherson Square Metro Station to our permit and submitted an application for a parade route from McPherson to Lafayette.

DAVE SHYNE: I’m excited!

TIFFANY SNYDER: I’ll post something in SC Ghost Squad for UTR2 security.

JASON: Don’t invite people we don’t know to do security. Al, you in for security?

AL STANKARD: Depends. What kind of snacks do we have this year?

JASON: I’m sorry?

AL: Last year Tiffany brought a bunch of orange wedges.

TIFFANY: Do you know how hard it is to plan food for that many people? I’m not your mother.

JASON: Calm down, guys. Al, what do you suggest?

AL: I don’t know. Pizza?

DAVE: I’m vegan, you asshole. You’ve known that since San Diego.

AL: I forgot.

DAVE: It was also in my Daily Stormer profile, but yes, keep saying you “forgot.”

JASON: Pizza isn’t American, anyway. We need American food.

TIFFANY: What’s American food?

JASON: 7-Eleven burritos?

DAVE: Gross, man. And that’s Mexican.

AL: I’m dieting. Maybe hummus?

DAVE: THAT’S MIDDLE EASTERN! WTF is wrong with you people?

JASON: We’ll bring some squeezy cheese and Ritz! Can we get off this and get to our talking points?

TIFFANY: Fine. Can we do a different chant this year? Clearly, “Jews will not replace us” didn’t go over well. What about something more subtle?

DAVE: “White is right”?

TIFFANY: Too overt.

AL: “Keep the Swedes out!”

JASON: When did we start hating Swedes?

TIFFANY: Astrid just broke up with him.

AL: Swedes are the worst.

JASON: Swedes are white. That’s not going in our platform, dude.

AL: Finnish people?

JASON: CAN WE STAY ON MESSAGE?

TIFFANY: What about music? Last year we had to listen to ABBA on the bus. Not cool.

JASON: Guys....

DAVE: I’m with Tiffany on this one. We need some new music. What about Drake’s new album? I can’t get that Kiki song out of my head.

AL: KIKI, DO YOU LOVE ME? ARE YOU RIDING?

TIFFANY: SAY YOU’LL NEVER EVER LEAVE FROM BESIDE ME!

JASON: I’m done.

11:32 am: Jason has left the conversation.

TIFFANY: Well, he’s testy.

AL: ’CUZ I WANTCHA, AND I NEEDYA...

TIFFANY: AND I’M DOWN FOR YOU ALWAYS.

AL: I wish Drake wasn’t Black.

TIFFANY: I wish I was Black.

AL: What?

TIFFANY: Nothing.

11:34 am: Tiffany has left the conversation.