Helloha Blogtowners,
I’m the Mercury‘s old art director from 2009 through 2011. Now I’m back in Portland, and I’m the Mercury‘s new art director! After leaving I moved to the middle of the Pacific Ocean on a tiny island called Maui. While there I slayed dragons, taught my son how to shoot lazers out of his eyes, surfed red hot lava waves into the loving arms and nipples of Neptune’s kingdom, and a bunch of artsy farts stuff.
If you don’t believe me watch this video.
GOOD MORNING, SCRAPPERS!!!! HOW ARE YOU?!??
WHILE ON THE ONE HAND, I’M HAPPY THAT YOU’RE BACK IN PORTLAND… ON THE OTHER HAND, I’M SAD THAT YOU LEFT THE WELCOMING BOSSOM OF PARADISE. I ASSUME YOUR ADVENTURES WERE QUITE SIMILAR TO THE MOVIE ‘LILO & STITCH’.
Yeah, just like Lilo & Stich. I was the alien.
Maui? Yeah, right. Anyway, congrats on your release from prison.
I saw “The Descendants,” I know Hawaii is a seething cauldron of tension and intrigue…I’m glad you got out.
WELCOME BACK, SCRAPPERS. I MUST ADMIT I KIND OF FORGOT YOU EXISTED.
I HOPE YOUR LEPROSY HAS CLEARED UP
Wait… will there be a sequel to this video? I want to know how the story ends… Will our hipster hero settle into a life of mediocrity or will he soar to new heights?