It can be sent directly to me at the Mercury, and I shall place it in the center of the office, on a raised dais, and every word I write henceforth shall bear the authority of the King of the Andals and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm. I thank you in advance.
With honor and distinction, Erik Henriksen served as the executive editor of the Portland Mercury from 2004 to 2020. He can now be found at henriksenactual.com. More by Erik Henriksen
This can replace that goofy blue chair!
Does it flush and everything?
You’ll poke your eye out!
I call dibs on being The Hand.
…
…I probably shouldn’t call dibs on that, on second thought.
The sight of that fills me with avarice and desire. Want.