Credit: via Petsmart

Bret Michaels—he of Poison and “Every Rose Has its Thorn” fame—is introducing his new line of “rock inspired” dog items for PetSmart clumsily called “Bret Michaels Pets Rock Collection.” (HEAVY SIGH.) Here’s his commercial:

And here’s his “doggie do-rag.”

bret-bandanax-large.jpeg
  • via Petsmart

Holocaust victims are staring into that dog’s eyes and saying, “I’ve never seen anything more sad in my life.”

https://youtube.com/watch?v=k9vFyWX1Kto

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)