Amy Poehler’s “Ask Amy” internet segments in which she gives fantastic advice to troubled teens are undeniably AWESOME. But today she has some advice that is specifically designed for every person in our editorial department and probably YOU, the socially inept awkward Portlander. Check it out, and check out Amy’s special guest star! (Also an expert on the subject.)

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)